It's Frank Miller time! We've looked at the hero teams that might be assembled from the work of two classic Silver Age artists - Kirby and Ditko - but only one Modern Ager - John Byrne. So it's only fitting we turn to the Modern Age again, to one who really put his stamp on comics in the 80s and like it or not, paved the way for the 90s. Everyone tried to do anti-heroes, but arguably, Frank Miller was the first and the best. The SBG thus presents...
Frank Miller's Goddamn Outsiders!These guys are HARD CORE. Led by the future Dark Knight, Daredevil, Elektra, Marv, Miho and King Leonidas fight the grim and gritty fight through the whole of history. It's bloody, it's nasty, and it probably won't last long.
Martha Washington wanted to get in on it, but she seems to be on Gibbons' team instead. And if the team could have included his writerly projects as well, she would have been joined by Wolverine, Carl Seltz, Robocop and maybe both the Goddamn Batman and the Year One Batman. But I've that up to you in the comments.
Well, I can't say this comic is well put together much at all. Uneven art where every hero might as well be four feet tall is the least of its problems. Its structure is terrible, with an over-long epilogue filled with unmotivated happenings... Well, I'll let the comic speak for itself, I suppose.
What If vol.2 #17 (September 1990) Based on: Web of Spider-Man #31-32 The true history: When Kraven the Hunter goes mad, he shoots Spider-Man with a tranq dart and buries him alive and takes his place, having eaten spiders and BECOME the spider. Eventually, Spider-Man escapes from his tomb while the disturbed Kraven, satisfied with his "last hunt" commits suicide. Turning point: What if Kraven had shot Spider-Man with an actual bullet? Story type: Slayer/New World Order Watcher's mood: Fading in and out Altered history: So Kraven kills Spider-Man before burying him (probably safer) as in the original story, goes out to lethally fight crime as a new Spider-Man, high on spider juice. The divergence occurs when Spider-Man is gone long enough for Mary Jane, who was about to move in with her husband, starts to panic. She assembles a crack team of super-heroes to check on the new, violent Spider-Man, letting on that her husband's disappearance in somehow connected, she just knows it. The Torch (God rest his soul... no wait, I don't believe for a second he's dead, scratch that), Daredevil and Captain America each encounter Spider-Kraven, and they all come to the same conclusion. That's not Spider-Man! I'd even say they were a bit slow about it, especially since MJ sorta told them he was an impostor. It's been two weeks, and she's ready to spill the beans. As in the original timeline, Vermin comes into the story and jumps J.J. Jameson. Spider-Kraven saves him by killing Vermin, though of course JJJ is sure he would have been next, if it wasn't for the interference of our three heroes. They follow Kraven to the graveyard, where the mad Hunter feels the need to eat of the spider directly! They apprehend him before a Marvel comic would have had to show cannibalism (it was 20 years ago, we didn't realize how slippery the slope was) and find Peter Parker's body. Mary Jane cries for a page, then goes off to tell Aunt May who blows a fuse when MJ slanders her poor Peter by saying he was Spider-Man. Then there's the quiet funeral, and you'd think that would be that. But no, it goes on. MJ and the heroes call a press conference where she reveals Peter was Spider-Man to clear his name of any of Spider-Kraven's wrong-doing. Even with Captain America RIGHT THERE, the press is all about calling the heroes' bullshit. Tabloid peddler JJJ says the real Spider-Man attacked him, so it must be true! And then of course, Jonah shows up on stage in crutches and there's a lame struggle with the Torch, which the press paints like THIS: From there, super-heroes are investigated by Congress and public opinion turns against them. Even the Avengers and Fantastic Four quietly disband or go into hiding. Better not to fight this, says Reed Richards. ...WHAT?!? This would be completely ridiculous if not for the many real examples of this kind of behavior from the media and its consumers. Wait, it's still not over... MJ goes on to be a crusader, dedicating her life to removing the stain from her husband's name and that of all the heroes he brought down with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure the Marvel Universe is overrun with villains inside of a week. Books canceled as a result: Only the Spider-Man titles, really, and maybe the Avengers. Everyone else can operate under the radar, affecting the Marvel Universe's "secret history", or operating in the face of public outrage. The X-Men have been doing it for years. These things happen: Recently, Kraven was brought back from the dead for a "Grim Hunt" (which got its own What If? special) in a ceremony requiring his family to murder Kane, one of Spider-Man's clones and a dead ringer for Peter Parker. Well, they thought he was the real deal so... close enough.
Next week: What if the Fantastic Four Battled Dr. Doom Before They Got Their Powers? My guess: Doom does not suffer the indignity of being tied up with Reed Richards' bendy torso.
Halloween... devils... get it? Ok, yes, What If #2 was the next one on the list, so any link to Halloweek is grasping at straws. But in this case, the straws are fairly strong. As are the story and art, actually! Danny Fingeroth takes his cue from Frank Miller's Born Again storyline, so it's just as adult, and Greg Capullo is propelled along by my favorite inkers of all time, Akin & Garvey (who were so excellent on Rom Spaceknight). It's an ironic story in which the Kingpin actually succeeds in pushing Daredevil over the edge. All I can say is: Be careful what you wish for.
What If vol.2 #2 (August 1989) Based on: Daredevil #228 The true history: When Karen Page sold Daredevil out to Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin proceeded to destroy Matt Murdock's life. Matt confronted Fisk and lost a fight against the bigger man, but survived to put the pieces of his life back together again. Turning point: What if Daredevil killed the Kingpin? (For the first time, the title is accurate.) Story type: Slayer Watcher's mood: Waiting tables Altered history: In this reality, Matt Murdock made a pivotal decision in the elevator going up to the Kingpin's floor. As he was guided to the office, he stumbled against a bodyguard and lifted his gun. A few minutes later, the fat man was dead. While a gang war is immediately sparked on the streets, it's Murdock who's in real trouble. Acting as judge, jury and executioner - in effect, acting against everything he ever fought for - has driven him mad. He tries to confess, but alas, never to someone in authority. One person hit hard by the Kingpin's death is rival gang leader the Rose, in reality, the Kingpin's own son Richard Fisk. He'd spent his life trying to take down his father from the same side of the tracks, and now finds himself an aimless orphan. A person hit even harder by the gang war, I suppose, is Karen Page. She gets shot. Oh well. As a crazed Matt Murdock runs from such folks as the Punisher and Spider-Man, he eventually makes his way to the Rose, whom he hopes will punish him for the murder of his father. Would he have done it? As crime bosses go, he wasn't all that bloodthirsty. We don't find out because the Hobgoblin flies in wanting to take down the Rose. Hobby and Matt both die in the battle. And so ends the legend of Daredevil. Or does it? Suddenly, there's another Daredevil in town! It's Richard Fisk, taking down crime from the side of the angels thanks to a special hyper-sensory mask. I've seen worse replacements. Books canceled as a result: Looks like Daredevil continues, only with a different guy under the mask. Well, we all know how THAT storyline ends - with the return of Matt Murdock within two years! These things happen: The Kingpin is still eating, but his son Richard has since become a vigilante hero called Blood Rose. I guess he was always heading for that destiny. Karen Page was later killed as well.
Next week: What if Steve Rogers Had Refused to Give Up Being Captain America? My guess: Sorry, Bucky!
A new era begins, but not one I can promise to follow through to the end. What If's second volume is definitely a product of the 90s' dark age, despite starting a little earlier. Wolverine appears a heck of a lot, largely forgotten crossover events dominate over origin stories, and the art... ewwwww. More than anything, the latter acts as a deterrent. Though still longer than your average issue, volume 2's stories aren't quite double-sized, and the mag is now monthly. Perhaps a drop in quality and relevance was bound to happen. The new experiment starts off with a really extreme story that effectively puts an end to the Marvel Universe. The father of What If, Roy Thomas, scripts what is possibly the dullest high-concept story of all time, all based on an at the time recent crossover event. For good or ill, here we go again...
What If vol.2 #1 (July 1989) Based on: Avengers Annual #9 The true history: The High Evolutionary wants to become a god to rival the Beyonders by forcing humanity to evolve. He builds a gene bomb that is prevented from exploding by a makeshift team of reserve Avengers who hyper-evolve Hercules so he can fight the Evolutionary. The two (apparently) destroy each other and the Avengers are free to disarm the bomb. Turning point: What if the High Evolutionary had won a battle against a hyper-evolved Hercules? Story type: Everybody dies Watcher's mood: Nostalgic for greatest hits Altered history: In this universe, The High Evolutionary manages to destroy Hercules before that destruction becomes mutual. It explodes taking the Beast, Falcon and the female Yellowjacket with it. Only Steve Rogers survives to witness the bomb's fallout spreading over the Earth. In a matter of moments, everyone is changed. Super-powered individuals - mutants and mutates alike - start glowing in the dark and see their powers enhanced. Regular humans all grow big brains. It's an end to war, prejudice and crime. Hard to see what's left to do for the super-heroes. The human ones basically join the communist hive mind, while the others (and their super-powered foes) have a big meet to discuss it. I don't want to quibble with the super-evolved, but they decide to nominate Wolverine as their leader. Why? I can't tell you. It doesn't make sense unless they were going purely by who makes the most money at the comic book shop, and it's never really explained. And then they all start singing the Pixies' Stormy Weather.
The implication is that the High Evolutionary has programmed something into everyone's genetics, but that doesn't explain why Wolverine has to lead, especially give than Logan's next move is to create a sort of Uni-Mind with the superpowered populace of Earth and to head into space. Meanwhile, all the magical heroes disappear in a big battle with the magical villains, and Thor goes back to Asgard where the gods will mind their own business. Out in space, Wolverine's cosmic A-Team picks up the Inhumans and the Eternals' Uni-Mind and follows up by destroying the combined Shi'ar, Kree and Skrull fleets, all the while going "we mean you no harm". Years pass on Earth, and finally the exiled Daredevil - who had been overloaded with stimuli when his powers increased - comes out to pay his respects to now dead heroes. Yep, Daredevil so isolated himself, even AGING couldn't catch up to him. (What the hell is going on with Roy?) And his senses are now so well-honed, he can hear thoughts! The only other superhero on earth is the Vision, who didn't ascend like his wife did. In space, Wolverine's space platoon kills Nova and Galactus, and pushes the Silver Surfer out of the universe. On Earth, time seems to pass more quickly, and there, Daredevil finally dies of old age, so the Vision commits suicide (emo robots, what can I say). As for Wolvie's Uni-Guys, they merge with Death and then Eternity, creating... Deathternity! "We're shatterin' the universe!" quoth Wolverine. The human race has kept evolving, but is still found wanting by the returning Celestials. No matter, they're powerful enough to destroy them. They then join hands/minds and become a single entity called... Earth. The living planet is ready to ride out the storm as Deathternity rejects the High Evolutionary's bid for godhood. And hey, to his credit, he realizes his creation has far outpaced him. Deathternity blows a hole in the universe and goes on to cause a new big bang, creating another universe outside ours. The entity then splits back into Death and Eternity, though there's no sign of the former superhumans that originally merged with them. Without the two entities, our universe ceases to have meaning. It collapses in on itself awaiting its own rebirth. "Earth" will be the new Galactus, the one living being to survive the end and the new beginning. Wow. And by "wow", I mean "yawn". Books canceled as a result: All of them. It's Marvel's exist strategy, leaving Disney nothing. These things happen: Evolution could never be so boring.
Next week: What if Daredevil Killed the Kingpin? My guess: We'd have to dig a mighty big hole.
Or more properly, What if Bullseye Had Not Killed Elektra? This is a Frank Miller story, cuz goddamn, he's the only one who can even touch Elektra. So it's a noir piece, with the Watcher lurking in the shadows with an umbrella, Deep Throating the whole story to Matt Murdock just so he can feel even shittier than he already does. A rare occurrence of a Marvel character learning about an alternate timelime.
What If Vol.1 #35 (October 1982) Based on: Daredevil #181-182 The true history: Bullseye escapes from prison and kills Elektra. Turning point: What if Bullseye got shot escaping prison? Story type: Happily ever after Watcher's mood: Noir Altered history: Looking back at the original story, there definitely is a moment when a guard with a rifle says something akin to "drop it" and gets butchered before he gets a shot off. Not so this universe, which has potentially the same guard shooting first and asking questions later. Nice self-homage to Frank Miller's similar splash page pulled from Bullseye's imagination: Meanwhile, Elektra's accepted a contract to kill Foggy Nelson for the Kingpin. Out of love for Matt, she lets Foggy live, and that's when that psycho Bullseye comes out of the woodwork and kills her for fun and to torture Daredevil. With him out of the way, it's the Kingpin who wants Elektra dead for having betrayed him. He sends a bunch of lamer assassins to kill her. She hands them their asses, but is wounded, so shows up on Matt Murdock's doorstep. He thinks about bringing her in and then... chooses otherwise. Suddenly, the brownstone is on sale, and the two of them are living it large on the Mediterranean, free from care. Of course, this is Frank Miller's world, so it probably won't last. Elektra's past will come back to haunt her. Bad stuff will happen in New York City and Matt will be drawn back there. Bound to happen, but for a while at least, Matt Murdock knew happiness. Awwwww. Books canceled as a result: This would certainly put Daredevil on hiatus, or more probably, just feature him in international adventures at Elektra's side. These things happen: Through some amazing plot convolutions, Elektra was eventually resurrected and worked with SHIELD wearing a white version of her costume. At some point, she's replaced by a Skrull, but the real Elektra is returned to Earth in the end. She had something to do in Dark Reign, but now we're talking about comics I actively ignored.
BONUS ALTERNATE TAKE Next week: What if Yellowjacket Had Died? My guess: Wait... is that a Skrull that died? Or actually Hank Pym? I'm confused.
For a reason I cannot quite fathom, "Agent of SHIELD" became a What If? story category, and it all starts here in this short story that is only really of interest because it was drawn and co-written by Frank Miller. Why this gave so many writers the idea to put people in SHIELD in What If? stories, as opposed to say, making them heralds of Galactus (oh wait, they did that a lot too), I can't tell you. It just seems so random. What if Nick Fury recruited hero X? (Answer: Then it would be the Ultimate Universe.)
Though I'll give a point of divergence, the timeline is a lot more screwy, with Nick Fury being an agent of SHIELD and Tony Stark an adult while Matt Murdock is a kid, and Matt seems a lot older when the accident happens (or am I remembering it wrong?). And is SHIELD's Dr. Frost supposed to be Emma Frost? And if so, we've got a great many more divergences than just Daredevil flipping over to the Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. Not to say it doesn't all turn into a satisfying fight, but as a What If?, I'm left wanting.
What If Vol.1 #28 (August 1981) Based on: Daredevil #1 The true history: Young Matt Murdock looks straight at truck spilled radioactive isotopes and becomes blind... and more! He becomes the superhero Daredevil after his father is killed for refusing to throw a fight. Turning point: What if Tony Stark followed that truck of isotopes? Story type: Agent of SHIELD Watcher's mood: Brooding Brando Altered history: The isotope that turned Matt Murdock into Daredevil is revealed to have belonged to Stark Enterprises, and in this reality, Tony's just as outraged as we are that such dangerous material would be transported through Hell's Kitchen in an open truck. Not outraged enough to do anything about it, though. Still, he feels responsible, so he takes young Matt to see the best doctors up on the SHIELD Helicarrier. And the best doctors throw him in a sensory deprivation tank to live out the rest of his life. I'm just kidding. They eventually let him out and train him to use his abilities for the next month. What they don't tell him though is that Hydra is super-interested in his mutation and have taken Battlin' Jack Murdock hostage. Hey, probably saved him from being murdered by the Fixer. When Matt finds out about it, he decides to take things into his own hands and jump into the action. Nick Fury stops him, but gives in to Matt's demands. They go after Hydra, infiltrate their underwater base under New York harbor, where Matt creates the cover of darkness to beat the crap out of Hydra cultists. He rescues his dad (who gets a few licks in) and gives him the chance to live free of the Fixer's shadow. Still, the old man wonders if this is the kind of life he wants for his son: What... secret agent not good enough?!? Books canceled as a result: Daredevil may or may not be canceled as a result. It could be turned into Matt Murdock - Agent of SHIELD, though perhaps that would mean no Nick Fury series in the 60s. These things happen: DD's Wikipedia entry puts SHIELD under Team affiliations, but I don't think he's done more than team up with them, has he? (Edit: Tijmen in the comments remembers a Scott Lobdell story in which Matt did work with SHIELD for a few issues.)
Next week: What If the Avengers Defeated Everybody? My guess: That would be a sweet video game.
Am I starting a meme with this? I think I am. Read on and see if you want to blog your own choices and let me know about it in the comments section (or just create your own list right there). The idea is to talk about your favorite songs in films. Those beautiful moments when a piece of soundtrack matches a scene so perfectly, it gives you goosebumps, or just makes the film and song that much cooler. The rules (which you may break at your leisure, of course) are simple: Stick to soundtracks played over the action. No scores written for the film, no songs sung exclusively by the actors (i.e. in musicals), and no selections from television shows (they'll be a future post). Songs that play over credits are eligible, since they comment on the film as a whole, but they're not as interesting. I'll personally stick to one song for any given film, though you're free to like more. Fair enough? Here we go.
Lifetime Achievement Award: Quentin Tarantino Before I get into my list, let me just put the master out of the way. I could run a Top 20, even a Top 100, of JUST Tarantino song choices. I won't. And I can't really choose one song out of his entire oeuvre. From Little Green Bag in the opening of Reservoir Dogs to the wonderfully anachronistic Gasoline in Inglourious Basterds, there's hardly a misstep. I'm a huge fan of the soundtrack-before-film technique, and no one does it better. Instead of a scene, I present a relevant interview filled with clips.
Now that I've apparently already broken my rules, let's get into the Top 5. I start with a very personal, even silly choice... 5. Take My Breath Away (Sandy Lam Yik-Lin) - As Tears Go By
Wong Kar-Wai is a director I admire greatly who also makes very interesting song choices across all his films. This Chinese version of Take My Breath Away is kitsch and ridiculous, in some ways because the original is associated with the 80s-cool Top Gun, and yet immediately memorable as the love theme between As Tears Go By's cousin lovers. I love it for its camp value as much as anything, and really don't want to apologize for it.
4. Bring Me to Life (Evanescence) - Daredevil
I know a lot of people hate Evanescence, but their two songs on the overly heavy Daredevil soundtrack are perfect. Bring Me to Life is set up by the band's My Immortal, earlier in the film, a beautiful song that acts as a dirge for both Elektra's father and her ability to love Matt Murdock. Later, as Daredevil and Elektra get ready for battle each in their own space, Bring Me to Life raises Elektra and in ironic fashion, her relationship with DD, from the dead. The song is a duet and so is the scene, despite the characters not being together, and the action cut to it is immensely satisfying. Also note how each song has an eye motif appropriate to the lead character.
3. Hey (Pixies) - Zack and Miri Make a Porno
I've been a fan of the Pixies since I first heard Doolittle in the summer of 1990, but Hey was renewed for me in the way it was laid into this movie. Rarely have words so well matched to a scene. The final series of "We're chained" blow a hundred "I'll never let you go" hand-slipping moments from Titanic and elsewhere out of the water.
2. Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Bob Dylan) - Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid
Here's where I get teary-eyed. Bob Dylan composed all the music for this Peckinpah classic, including Knockin' in Heaven's Door which has since become a classic itself. Over the death of Slim Pickens' character, it is heart-breakingly moving despite the fact that Sheriff Colin Baker isn't much more than a cameo. His quiet death is that of the frontier's way of life, beautifully evoked by Dylan.
1. Wise Up (Aimee Mann) - Magnolia
But when it comes to grinding my heart into a fine powder, no song use compares to P.T. Anderson's Magnolia. Wise Up is that lyrical moment of despair at the center of the film, as the camera moves in on each of the characters, as the song plays on Claudia's stereo. Connecting them in their loneliness and isolation is a song that, in a transcendent movie moment, they each sing a verse to (always well chosen too). It quite literally gives me the shakes. The film breaks the fourth wall again at the end, with the more hopeful Save Me, another great moment, but only made possible by this centerpiece. It is my all-time favorite use of a song in a film.
Over to you, film and music buffs. What are your favorite uses of soundtrack in film? Give me about a week, and I'll let you know what my favorite musical tv moments are.
The time-space tunnel was always one for pulp... The city's windows, like secret brail in the night... When illuminated, the Hell's Kitchen blazes... In power, there are chains... Mad spirals draw out a map in the dark... There is no need to say his name born of fire... And from afar, that's what it looked like...
Actually titled What if Spider-Man had stopped the burglar who killed his uncle?, Peter Gillis delivers an interesting story, the first of two with this basic premise (the other is in #46). Yes, there's a sort of reset button at the end, but not before things are changed for the Marvel Universe without everyone having to die. So I'm gonna have to call that a winning What If? story.
What If Vol.1 #19 (February 1980) Based on: Amazing Fantasy #15 The true history: While Spider-Man is working as an entertainer, he neglects to stop a burglar who goes on to kill his Uncle Ben. Learning that with great power comes great responsibility the hard way, Spidey embarks on a life of crimefighting. Turning point: What if Spider-Man stopped the burglar? Story type: Deviated origin. Watcher's mood: Creepy Kingpin. Altered history: This time, Peter Parker does stop the burglar, but being in a showbiz mindset, he does it to get publicity. It works, and soon he's on his way to Hollywood, though I don't think things worked the same way in the 60s... Soon he's shilling for deodorant and hosting the Tonight Show, but the real money's in producing! So he goes around to every other superhero and has them sign a contract to handle their PR. The FF, Avengers and X-Men all sign, and Spidey buys up Marvel Comics to make sure they sell these heroes to the world. Oh, and more Spider-Man comics. Uncle Ben and Aunt May aren't on board though. Deeply disappointed about how he's using his powers irresponsibly. Puberty hits badly and he storms out of the house... forever! Uncle Ben's not cool, and neither is JJJ who's been going after Spider-Man in the media, especially once a REAL hero like his son dies on a space mission. Spidey threatens him a couple times, especially after he reveals his identity in the Bugle, but you can't keep a cranky publisher down. Next on Spidey's list is Daredevil, who needs both a little PR and a makeover. Yes, in this reality, DD's red costume is Spider-Man's idea (though Murdock gets rid of the cape and pitchfork pretty quickly). Signing a known vigilante gives Jameson the opening he needs to trash Spider-Man some more, and Spidey retaliates by following the Bugle's Frederick Foswell to the Enforcers' hideout and finding out he's the Big Man. Accused of allowing a crime syndicate to operate in the Bugle offices, Jameson is discredited and put on the street. From prison, Foswell gives JJJ the means to get revenge (apparently, the number of almost every super-villain in those early issues of Amazing). Peter Parker is soon attacked at a promotional event by one of Mysterio's creations, but Daredevil saves his life. So of course, the douche that Peter has become wants a rewrite of his next movie, one that includes a role for DD. Ah yes, now he's getting it. That's the Hollywood I know! The writers are actually the villains though and a fight ensues, one in which Spidey doesn't lift a finger and Daredevil gets killed. That wasn't an expression. He's really dead! (Wait, it says "nearly" later, so maybe he's alive.) Spidey goes ballistic and defeats each villain in turn, unmasking JJJ as the leader at the end - the man he destroyed. He knows it. And so he learns a big lesson about great power and great responsibility. Books canceled as a result: Spectacular Spider-Man starts sooner, but it's Daredevil that's canceled (perhaps only nearly). I think the public is real loser here. These things happen: In Booster Gold, they do! Ok, so Spider-Man never really DIDN'T become a crimefighter, but he did quit a few times, like in the landmark issue #50, or while a clone was doing his job, or, like, you know, to use his powers for dirty dancing. Next week: What if the Avengers fought the Kree-Skrull War without Rick Jones? My guess: No noticeable effect?
These guys are HARD CORE. Led by the future Dark Knight, Daredevil, Elektra, Marv, Miho and King Leonidas fight the grim and gritty fight through the whole of history. It's bloody, it's nasty, and it probably won't last long.
