Monday, May 21, 2007

Fashion Nightmares: Who's Who vol.4

After peeking at the Marvel closet, I find I much prefer DC's. Who's Who is just not as ashamed of its characters as Marvel Universe Deluxe seems to be. MU leaves out a LOT of stuff, whereas Who's Who just gooes for broke. And you know, volume 4 has a lot of characters I happen to like, but I still have to call them on their costuming choices.

Case in point, Captain Boomerang. Man, the Suicide Squad wouldn't have been such a cool title without this guy, but look at him! The tiny cap, the untucked shirt/skirt, the white scarf... wind gusts were not his friend. That said, somebody should call Gene Hackman and tell him to let his hair grow out in case they call him about a Flash movie.Another example is Calendar Man. I don't really love the character (anyone? anyone?), but I like the costume. But let's be practical about this. Does he take sheets out of his cape when he commits a crime in a month that doesn't have 31 days? Why is he wearing casts on both his arms? (Answer: Guy fights Batman.) Does anyone ever think he's Bingo Man? One thing is clear, I can't get behind a bead necklace and that silly tail on his hood.
Here's a conundrum: What do you do when you're not in as good a shape as most superheroes seem to be? Well, you could go the Michael Keaton route, and get a bodysuit with a built-in six-pack, or... Go the Chlorophyll Kid route and just wear baggy, baggy, baggy! Hmm... really looks like he's playing a tree in a school play, doesn't it?
FutureWear! Chris KL-99's duds are pretty non-descript, but if you're gonna look like Jimmy Olsen, have the decency to wear a mask. It's all I'm sayin'.

BONUS: DC UNIVERSE FASHION EVOLUTION!

Times change, and fashions with them. Here to illustrate that point is Wonder Woman villain, the Cheetah! In the Golden Age, the Cheetah might have passed for the Squirrel, or possibly the Honey Bear (but those names were already taken, I'm sure). Note the absence of real cleavage and the skull cap covering her hair.
In the Silver Age, the Cheetah sported a plungeing neckline and non-negligeable cleavage (I'm not sure that would distract Diana, but whatever). Sexy kitty ears complete the ensemble and make it as appropriate for waitress-work as it does crime.
In the mid-80s, the Cheetah got yet another makeover, and this time, she's NAKED! (Welcome, furry fetishists!)
Having scraped the bottom of that barrel, the 2000+ Cheetah wears a more sensible tank top and gym pants number. Note the midriff which is so popular nowadays. But is that where we're headed as a culture? Back to fully-dressed characters? A Witchblade with pants?

BONUS: PRETTY WOMAN

Remember the top-heavy Catwoman of the 90s? Here's a reminder:
Jim Balent's take on the character is everything a cat is not. She isn't slinky, she doesn't look like an acrobat, or as someone who could fit in air vent on her way to a priceless museum piece. I much prefer the Golden Age Catwoman as depicted in Who's Who vol.4. Manages to be wildly sexy without resorting to helium enhancements. Incredible legs, anatomy you can believe in, and a costume that reveals and hides just the right things. Meow!!!
No wonder this is the version Batman married.

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