Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Doctor Who #148: The Underwater Menace Part 2

"This is what will happen. Zaroff intends to raise Atlantis... but in little pieces."TECHNICAL SPECS: Though this episode was recovered late last year, it has yet to be released to the public. A reconstruction will have to do in the meantime. First aired Jan.21 1967.

IN THIS ONE... Everybody escapes their fate and Zaroff reveals his plans to blow up the Earth.

REVIEW: What does this episode have in common with Galaxy 4 Part 3? Both were found in 2011, and it may be that both deserved to be missing. But where Galaxy 4 is simply noisome and boring, The Underwater Menace may have performances of interest to offer on video. Troughton's in particular. I can't wait to see how he does Zaroff's crazy eyes, how he plays with a headdress (this week's hat?), or his subtle sabotage of the power control to save Polly from her fishy fate. Maybe Polly, Ben and Jamie will also benefit. It's hard to imagine the guest cast doing any better though. Ara is all "I'm helping you because the script tells me to", and there's little to make Ramo, Damon, Thous, Sean and Jacko particularly memorable. Zaroff IS memorable, but for being completely insane. Has there been a crazier villain in Doctor Who, EVER? He wants to blow up the world just because he can. The achievement! Yes, well...

Of course, the science behind it is all bad. The Doctor says the Earth is BELIEVED to have a molten core as if it weren't fact, and Zaroff's plan is to drain the ocean away into a drill hole, like the planet is some giant bathtub. No matter how brilliant he's supposed to be, why is this even the idea of a scientist whose claim to fame is feeding the masses with plankton? The story is DUMB, plain and simple. Zaroff's "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!" line is surely the Whovian equivalent of Ed Wood's "Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!" The only people in Atlantis who listen to reason are those who have already decided they dislike Zaroff, but since reasoning with people is what drives the plot, we're only ever frustrated. It just can't be done. These characters are all cartoons.

Take Sean and Jacko. Ben and Jamie meet up with them in the mines, and they've got an escape plan. But that escape plan is as dumb as everyone else's plans. They've found a tunnel that leads to somewhere unknown, and they can't return to the mine under penalty of death if they take it. It's foolhardy in the extreme. Why Ben and Jamie follow is anyone's guess, and they're real lucky that it coincidentally reunites them with Polly in the temple. The audience isn't so lucky though, as the trip through the tunnel maze is long and dull, especially on audio-only, and even its bit of jeopardy ellicits a yawn.

REWATCHABILITY: Low - I could have picked at a lot more nits, but at some point, you've just go to throw in the towel and admit it's just not very good and leave it at that. When Lost in Time 2 is released, the episode might go up to Medium-Low, but I doubt it'll achieve more.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I Swear I Was Going to Have a Substantial Post Ready

...but I was so close to finishing Season 1 of Game of Thrones, it all got away from me.Sean Bean, pray for me to the Old Gods that I may do better tomorrow.

Doctor Who #147: The Underwater Menace Part 1

"You're not turning me into a fish!"TECHNICAL SPECS: One of two episodes from this story still missing from the archives (a brief clip survives). Though I've heard the CD version narrated by Anneke Wils, but will use a reconstruction for the purposes of this review. First aired Jan.14 1967.

IN THIS ONE... The TARDIS crew are captured in 1970s Atlantis and are almost sacrificed to an ancient goddess.

REVIEW: Oh, Underwater Menace, do you deserve your bad reputation? You probably do. In some circles referred to as the Plan 9 from Outer Space of Doctor Who, it might be enjoyed as a piece of kitsch à la Ed Wood. Hey, it's even got a mad scientist with a thick accent who claims to have a pet octopus. That's right out of Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster. And what a mish-mash! It's science vs. religion, using extreme sensibilities. One one side, Professor Zaroff the mad scientist. On the other, High Priest Lolem who wants to sacrifice the outsiders as soon as he sees them. Both amoral. And the whole thing set in a contemporary sunken Atlantis that likes to surgically implant plastic gills on people and turn them into fish-people to farm the sea bed. Where else but in Doctor Who, eh?

We're at least spared the serial's notorious cheapness (at least, until the surviving episodes) and from the grainy pictures and audio, it's hard to tell whether the design stands up or not. The Atlanteans' attire could be silly or inspired (did I spot a giant fish-head helmet?), and the statue of the goddess, itself fish-like looks pretty cool. We've got beach scenes and caves on location, and a death trap worthy of Indiana Jones or James Bond, with progressively sloping tables threatening to dump our heroes into a shark tank. The video might show this to be terribly staged, who knows, so the missing video may be a mercy. In the single clip we have, as Polly is forced into an operating room to meet her fishy fate, we may note mirrored metal walls, and in that moment, yes, the production design does look interesting. Is the newly-found Part 2 a revelation? Time will tell.

But of course, beyond its design and premise, The Underwater Menace suffers from a pretty lame script. Jamie's first scene aboard the TARDIS is boring and stilted, the Doctor seems obsessed with prehistory for no good reason (Polly actually figures out the date), and pulls a great big shortcut by knowing who Zaroff is already. The only sympathetic guest character is Ara who does whatever the Doctor tells her to as if she owed him her life, but of course, they've never met. Not that the villains have much of a motivation either, except executing the script's demands in terms of jeopardy and deus ex machina. The episode also forgets about the TARDIS' translation powers and has Polly speak various languages to see if the natives speak them. Happy to see Polly's skills, but they're moot in the context of the program.

THEORIES: The Doctor signs a note "Dr. W" as if to imply, once again, that his true name is Who. From Romana's long true name, we may assume the "Who" sound is at least the first syllable of his Gallifreyan name.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium-Low - The premise is completely cracked and I admire that. However, it's no excuse for a bad script.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Bionic Sexism... by Kenner

So Steve Austin gets Mission Control Center...And Jamie Summers gets a Bionic Beauty Salon?!
They obviously just cannibalized The Prisoner's Electroshock Therapy Playset for that one...

Doctor Who #146: The Highlanders Part 4

"Well, the real job's only just beginning. Getting back to the TARDIS with only a rough idea of where it is and the whole English army out to stop us."TECHNICAL SPECS: Missing from the archives. You know the drill, I've used a reconstruction. First aired Jan.7 1967.

IN THIS ONE... The slave ship is liberated, Grey arrested, and Jamie joins the TARDIS crew.

REVIEW: I'm not entirely sure when they decided to add Jamie to the cast, but this episode tries its damnedest to justify it. The Laird's piper/bodyguard gets the "killing blow" on Trask, throwing him overboard (rates highly because Trask is such a terrible character). The Doctor tricks Grey by showing him the signet ring and insinuating that Jamie is Prince Charles. After the adventure is all over, Jamie springs out from under a tarp for no better reason than maybe not wanting to go to France (well, if he doesn't like travel...) and suddenly seems detached from the family he showed fierce loyalty to. And of course, when Polly asks if they can keep him, like a good puppy dog, he walks into the TARDIS. Who knew he would stay with Troughton's Doctor to the end and become one of the most beloved of companions? Sorry Ben, you'll have to share your lines with him for the next couple stories. The scripts have already been handed in and he wasn't in them.

Otherwise, it's business as usual for the end of a historical story. It's even got a big noisome fight we can't see, like The Smugglers only a few stories before it. Things are resolved, the baddies are punished, and it ends with a desperate race to get back to the TARDIS. The Doctor finds a third hat he'd like (a sailor's) and plays a final trick on Grey. He also gains yet another identity, that of a Redcoat, leading me to wonder where one might get a fake mustache in the 18th century. Ben pulls a Houdini underwater to escape the slavers and leads his team to victory by secreting a cache of weapons back to the prisoners. And Polly is forgiven for being so cruel to Lieutenant Ffinch as the officer gets both a high-profile collar in Grey and a little kiss from a swinging 60s beauty.

Because this is a comedy - despite some of the historical brutality - a kind of cartoon morality is strictly enforced. Ffinch is rewarded because leaving him humiliated isn't fair to a character we never disliked. Similarly, Perkins the comedy clerk makes an about-face and becomes the Laird's secretary, escaping to France with the rebels. Again, the audience would never ask for this silly little man's head, despite his collusion in a slave trading ring. Trask gets dunked and isn't seen coming up again, but he's a cartoon pirate, not a whole character. Only Grey, a real historical figure, must answer to a realistic fate.

VERSIONS: I am not aware of any important story changes in the Target novelization.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - All's well that ends well, and that's about as much as one can ask from a story like this. The noisy battle and the imperative to turn Jamie into a companion perhaps detract from the neat conclusion.

STORY REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Was it too soon after The Smugglers? I kinda think so and wouldn't be surprised if fans mistook events from one for those in the other. What saves it (and makes it more memorable) is the fine comedy from the entire cast (aside from Trask, of course).

Sunday, April 15, 2012

This Week in Geek (9-15/04/12)

Buys

The Whoniverse is the star of my buy pile this week (bet no one's surprised): The series 6 music CD, the special edition DVD of Remembrance of the Daleks, and Torchwood: Miracle Day.

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: William Shatner's Full Moon Fright Night Presents Vampire Journals (quite a mouthful) found its way into my collection because it's the Shat, but Shatner is actually the worst thing about this DVD release. He hosts a gothic vampire movie in the Lestat mold (bleh) for the Sci-Fi Network, which means frequent interruptions for commercial breaks and usually unfunny strings of puns from the host. At least he seems to be having fun. Vampire Journals itself wasn't as bad I thought it would be, and more or less taught me how to run a Vampire: The Masquerade game (I'm not sure how that achievement rates). It's about a vampire who hunts vampires and his battle against an evil ancient vampire for the soul of a beautiful pianist. It's not bad, it's just not particularly good. I liked the way vamps turned into shadows, but that's about it. The DVD includes an interview with Stan Lee on the most dubious of justifications, but was part of the original showing. It's Stan's usual stuff, but Shatner gets a few things we don't usually hear out of him. There's also a making of featurette for Journals, and promotional materials for New Moon releases, road shows and monster bras.

I'm not a particular fan of either Peter Pan or Johnny Depp, but I'm very much a fan of Finding Neverland. For one thing, Depp is so much more restrained in his performance than he is in a lot of other things. For another, I'm a real sucker for stories like this where the life and work of an author mix liberally (Shakespeare in Love is another). There isn't a bad note in the film, and he could so easily have slipped into sentimentalism and melodrama. The performances are excellent, the story wonderfully poignant, and the turn-of-the-century stagecraft really interesting. Ultimately, it's about letting your imagination go free, which justifies any and all changes made to the J.M. Barrie's biography. The DVD includes a strong commentary on both the film and its deleted scenes, making of elements taking the film from idea to the premiere, and some fun outtakes.

Where the Wild Things Are is another "imagination run rampant" film, but a very different one, as you would expect from director Spike Jonze. Based on the 1963 children's book by Maurice Sendak, it actually has a darker and creepier edge. 9-year-old Max actually runs away from home in the film (not just to his room) and there's something very odd about the monsters he encounters on his journey which isn't just from Sendak. No, the fact that they have very normal voices - the actors don't put on any monsterish tones - make them even more eerie. Max will become their king, but he'll make a mess of things and we'll realize that they represent some of the worst sides of himself - his anger, fear and boredom - and he'll return home having wrangled with inner demons in the only way a child can, through imagination and play. There are some lovely moments, the effects are top-notch and the monsters' expressions especially well done, but its strangeness does keep you at arm's length and I found it more touching in the real world than in the fantasy. As with other Jonze DVDs, the extras are slight and fanciful, mostly behind the scenes hi-jinks. There's the story of why animals are hard to work with, a prank on the director, a short film by star Max Records, and on-set stories of having children around at all times.

Greg the Bunny's second IFC season has only six film parodies (including Passion of the Christ and Blue Velvet), but the DVD package attempts to give you much more. There's the half-hour reunion special that relaunched Greg for the Independent Film Channel, the full pilot for Warren the Ape's Supper with Friends (much funnier than in the few minutes actually used on the special), plenty of deleted scenes and outtakes, a montage of the best in Greg's public access appearances, webisodes, a gag reel, a music video, photo galleries and making of materials. As with Season 1, there's commentary available on almost everything as well. I continue to be a big fan of uncensored puppets in the real world, and I'm sorry it's over.

I watched my Ocean's Collection a few weeks ago, but not the original 1960 Ocean's 11 starring the Rat Pack as an old WWII unit who reunite to steal from five casinos on the same night. It's not bad, especially once the heist starts, but it shows its age. It's a lot more talky than the Soderberg remake, for one thing, and is in fact as indulgent as Ocean's Twelve, letting its stars do their thing and fearing to leave anything on the cutting room floor. Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. even have extended musical numbers. The first hour is all set-up, and unfortunately, not all of it pays off. The subplot with Ocean's wife peters out before the end, and various other back stories are told, but aren't relevant to anything that happens later. I was also surprised by the less satisfying ending, even if it's straight out of the novel. So definitely not as fun as the more recent film, but nonetheless a nice snapshot of 1960s Las Vegas. Frank Sinatra Jr. offers an informative if over-fawning commentary track sometimes supplemented by Angie Dickinson. The DVD also has small featurettes on each of the casinos hit by the thieves from people who worked there, and a Tonight Show clip in which guest host Sinatra interviews Dickinson and talks about their experience together.

In the late 80s, comedies about people behaving very badly indeed became popular, for some reason (today, that's more a television thing) and the best of these was A Fish Called Wanda. Hadn't seen it in years, but it's kept its edge, with memorable performances from all involved. While I'm a big fan of Monty Python's Flying Circus on TV, the films' relentless absurdity makes me lose interest in them rather quickly. But Cleese's script for Wanda is crisp and tightly-plotted and provides a more satisfying experience, at least, for me. The DVD package is quite good too, with both vintage (1988) and contemporary (2006) material. The vintage stuff includes a Pythonesque message from Cleese, 50 minutes of making of set around probing interviews with John Cleese and a less interesting episode of "On location", which talks about the film and where it was shot. The more recent stuff includes an excellent commentary track by Cleese, trivia subtitles that fill space with non-movie related subjects like philosophy and the British legal system, a remembrance-focused documentary, and lots of deleted scenes with introductions by, yes, once again, John Cleese. The package is rounded out with picture galleries, and did I mention John Cleese? Well, for Cleese fans, let me make sure: John Cleese is in most of these extras. That's right, Meryl Streep--I mean, John Cleese.

In 2009, Korea produced The Sword with No Name (or literally, Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies), a historical epic very loosely based on real events (Queen Min's openness to other countries in the 19th century and how it led to rebellions and aggressive action by Japan). This is really a sweet and tragic romance between the Queen and her (fictitious) bodyguard, with some insane moments of martial arts action. I bought into every part of that strange equation. Su Ae is wise, centered and affecting as the Queen, and Cho Seung-Woo has a playful, awkward side that plays well against his portrayal of a suffering warrior and lover. The film benefited from being set in a time and place my Kung Fu Friday crowd knew little about. And as for the action sequences crossing into fantasy territory, I saw them as poetic interludes more about feeling and tone than about what was actually happening. That the cool didn't take me out the historicalness is a minor success. The DVD's making of is little more than behind the scenes footage and is of very mild interest unless you really want to see the performances on video, but there are some nice (of awkwardly staged) interviews with the two stars that are worth a gander.

Audios: I started a new 7th Doctor cycle of Big Finish audios, a trilogy that uses a former villain as a companion. Gone are Ace and Hex (whenever these stories take place). In A Thousand Tiny Wings, Andy Lane instead makes the Doctor meet up with Elizabeth Klein (Tracey Childs), the Nazi from an alternate timeline first introduced in Colditz, who undid her Nazi future in trying to steal the Doctor's TARDIS in the past. They meet up again in 1950s Kenya during the Mau Mau Uprising, but have to tangle with a very strange alien as well. It's a good audio story, not least of which because the unusual antagonist would have been difficult to realize on television. The starring Nazi isn't the only morally ambivalent character in the story, which keeps up dramatic interest until Klein is inevitably asked to come along. But can the Doctor teach her a lesson about the evils of fascism before she up and steals the TARDIS?

Survival of the Fittest actually starts with Klein's Story, a one-parter by John Ainsworth and Lee Mansfield. Through the use of flashbacks, it recounts just how Klein found her way to Colditz, and is quite good. Fans will be overjoyed to find a certain character make an important appearance (no spoilers for you!). The bigger story (in three parts) is by Jonathan Clements and creates a really neat sentient insect race that communicates through smell. Clements has the brilliant idea of having the TARDIS translate those smells into words (and vice-versa) and then allowing that concept to affect the story in a variety of creative ways, enhancing the standard "outsiders exploit alien world" plot that Doctor Who has done so often. And it all build to one whopper of a cliffhanger. Steve Lyons, it's all in your hands now!

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.ii. The Mouse-Trap - Tennant (2009)

Doctor Who #145: The Highlanders Part 3

"For those who wish to sign, over here. For those who wish to hang, over there. Make your choice!"TECHNICAL SPECS: Missing from the archives. A reconstruction was used to write this review. First aired Dec.31 1966.

IN THIS ONE... Ben and the Scots refuse to sign Grey's contract and the Doctor meets up with the girls and acquires a number of weapons.

REVIEW: In Part 3, I feel like the serial's lost its way a little bit. There's entirely too much pirate stuff - Trask shouting at his prisoners and such. In addition to the plight of the Scottish Laird, we now have the case of Willy McKay who's lost his ship to the likes of Trask, and whether or not the prisoners will sign away their lives to Grey. Lots of shipboard subplots, but at least Ben plays it smart and prevents the men from being divided by the issue by ripping up the contract. He'll get the equivalent of waterboarded for his trouble.

Of course, the episode suffers from the missing video. Seeing Michael Craze dropped in a fog-filled water tank was no doubt dramatic and atmospheric, but all we have left of the cliffhanger sequence are murky telesnaps and hissing audio. The missing visuals also cause some confusion as to what the Doctor was doing feeding a guard in the previous episode. I thought he was getting aboard the ship, but he wasn't. So what was the point there? And with him dressed as an old woman, there's bound to be room for physical comedy and surprised reactions, but that's all lost as well. The set pieces just aren't as funny this time around, because they're not as dialog-based. Polly teases/tortures Ffinch some more, and the Doctor puts a gun under Perkins' nose, but these seem pale echoes of previous altercations.

The sense that the episode is keeping time is represented in the Doctor's behavior too. While things seem desperate (for Ben), the Doctor just wants to go to sleep. It's the kind of inappropriate reaction that's making its way into the character's make-up (and which will be taken up by Tom Baker later, among others), but it's hard not to be as frustrated with it as Polly is. And it seems a needless pause when the next scene shows him with a wheelbarrow full of "liberated" weapons. How about showing us the theft instead? Nevertheless, things DO happen. Polly makes plans and they work out, Ben is a proper hero, and revelations about the signet ring come to light. It's just that on audio-only, it's the "ooh, arrh"s that you remember most.

REWATCHABILITY: Medium - Every time things start to get interesting, we cut back to the ship and it's a bad pirate movie. Can't hate it too much, but really does suffer from being a "lost episode".