Ambush Bug: The Real Countdown

I've been very much ignoring Countdown (to Final Crisis), even though I intend to read Final Crisis. But to me, the real countdown is to July 2008 for the return of Ambush Bug. START THE CLOCK!

Your Ambush Bug Moment of the Week: The Golden Age Ambush Bug's first appearance!Not a hoax, not an imaginary story, not an alternate universe in which Spock has a beard!*

*Well, maybe a hoax.

Star Trek 472: Heroes and Demons

472. Heroes and Demons

FORMULA: Emergence + Lost Among Us + Eric the Viking

WHY WE LIKE IT: The EMH gets an away mission.

WHY WE DON'T: Dumb technobabble. Cod beards. Janeway's new hair.

REVIEW: It's the old nugget where the crew captures energy and it turns out it's sentient, so it takes over the holodeck in order to communicate/wreak havoc. This time, it's "photonic energy"... so you mean, like, "light"? And so begins an episode that disappointed me greatly. After all, I don't think we've seen a viking holodeck program before, and Beowulf seemed like a fun and unusual choice back in 1995, more than 10 years before all the sucky movies started coming out. Alas, I found it really painful to sit through.

The main reason is that the Beowulf program is unconvincing. Fake beards and ham acting abound, and while it can be justified as a poorly designed "holo-novel", it's still not pleasant to look at or listen to. Unferth is an especially annoying character, whose last plot complication (the theft of the "lantern") is simply ignored. Freya and her father are better, but still have mannered speech patterns. And we have to sit through the same hammy set pieces more than once as the program more or less resets. At least the musical cues are properly heroic.

And it's all too bad, because it's the Doctor's first adventure outside sickbay - and a great idea for giving him the hero's role - and Robert Picardo does a good job of giving us the EMH's first reactions (to nature, to women, etc.). Unfortunately, the script insists on some lackluster comedy as well. His romance with Freya is somewhat sweet (the program seems altogether too raunchy though, Harry, you pervert), though doomed. I still don't see why he couldn't have resurrected her and continued it. At least it means he won't keep Schweitzer as a name. I don't think it would have worked.

So the Doctor's good, it's just everything else that's off. Chakotay comes off as a stuffy anthropology professor (though I like his opinion of Vulcan literature). The technobabble really gets out of control, contradicting everything we thought we knew about holodeck technology and throwing out terms like "energy mass". And the only thing worse than the cod beards is Janeway's new hairdo.

LESSON: Beowulf was better in the original Old English.

REWATCHABILITY - Low: Could and should have been a lot better. I was surprised at how stupid and dull it all was.

This Week in Geek (17-23/03/08)

Buys

Only a four-day week. Didn't leave enough time for packages to get to my home. See you next week.

"Accomplishments"

Finished Manhunter volume 4 (Unleashed) and it reminded me of why I'm so glad it's back on the docket this spring. Not only does the book walk a thin tightrope between poking fun at superhero books and being a damn good one itself, but it's also full of witty dialogue and memorable characters. The centerpiece of this volume is Wonder Woman's trial for killing Maxwell Lord, a plot point I found repugnant, and yet, I'm ok with it here. Such is the power of Kate Spencer. More please!

On the DVD front, in addition to a steady diet of Star Trek: Voyager, I flipped Michael Palin's New Europe, another excellent travelogue through 20 countries of the former Eastern Block. The initial (more southerly) chapters are definitely the better ones, exuding the melancholy of people whose cultures seem to have been on hold for decades. Some of the sights are pretty exotic and spectacular too, especially the strange lava cones of Turkey and the Nazi resort in Northern Germany. So Michael, when are you going to take a trip through Canada? ;-)

Because of my roommate's sudden man-crush on Matt Damon, I also flipped The Bourne Ultimatum, which I think was the only film I saw in theaters last year. Wow, is that possible? I think it is. I'm such a recluse. The DVD includes a fair director's commentary (not a whole lot different from Supremacy's) and lots of featurettes on stunts and the joys of filming on location. Deleted and alternate scenes round out the package. Part of me wants the Bourne franchise to continue, but my reason tells me you shouldn't spoil a trilogy with one too many movies.

And after a break of 20 days (yipes!), I at last finished work on Human Nature/The Family of Blood for my Unauthorized Doctor Who CCG. Long overdue, but I needed to settle a number of game issues regarding the human Doctor and the galactic mayflies that are the Family of Blood. 27 new cards, all crafted today, really. Those interested should check them out as usual.
Someone Else's Post of the Week
Not a post so much as an entire blog, Palaeoblog is something I discovered at the tail end of Dinosaur Fortnight. It would either have helped me or hindered me greatly, I'm not sure which, but it's full of cool dinosaur material. Real science, comics and movies, everything you're looking for. So if 10 days of dinomania wasn't enough for you, there's the escape hatch.

Star Trek 471: State of Flux

471. State of Flux

FORMULA: Caretaker + For the Cause

WHY WE LIKE IT: Seska goes rogue.

WHY WE DON'T: So the Kazon are really Voyager's "legacy villains", eh?

REVIEW: During a scavenging expedition spearheaded by Neelix, the crew comes across the Kazon again, for the first time since the pilot. How Tuvok knows they're part of the Nistrim sect remains a mystery, though maybe he debriefed Neelix a heck of a lot more than was seen. And when a small Kazon ship is discovered with a Starfleet-issue replicator aboard, it looks like one of Voyager's crew is responsible.

Aspersions are almost immediately cast on Seska, the resident trouble-maker, and since it's a little hard to believe that the sincere Carey is behind the technology leak, there's not much of a twist that it turns out to be her. The revelation that she and Chakotay had a relationship comes a bit late, or her betrayal too early, and it just seems to raise the stakes artificially. We're still early enough that it doesn't come off as unbelievable, but still. It would have been interesting to see more of this given how hard he works to integrate the two crews and how little she cares about that. The bit where he wonders who WASN'T spying on him aboard his ship is fun, and I have to give the writers points for the whole "fall from paradise" trope, with her as the seductive snake (she was Cardassian all along) and Carey narrowly avoiding biting into a poison apple.

Always nice to see a Cardassian working it in the Cardassian way, and her plan to implicate Carey has all the twists and turns you'd expect. Less interesting are the Kazon, even if given a face in Maje Culluh. These guys are barbarians that at least give Janeway the chance to flex her muscles "with all the 'unique technologies' at [her] command." With Seska joining them, you can bet they'll be seen again, and that'll cause problems since Voyager really shouldn't really be staying in Kazon space so long (but we'll get to that in due time).

One last character bit: In order to differentiate B'Elanna from other engineers, she tells us she doesn't exaggerate. Her estimates are dead on. Ok, but we'll see how much that prevents Janeway from cutting those estimates in half when push comes to shove.

LESSON: Sometimes, everything you've heard is true.

REWATCHABILITY - Medium-High: An important one as far as the overall plot goes, but a little obvious, and dismisses Seska a touch too soon.

Star Trek 470: Prime Factors

470. Prime Factors

FORMULA: Justice + When the Bough Breaks + Caretaker

WHY WE LIKE IT: The moral dilemmas.

WHY WE DON'T: Gilligan's Island Syndrome.

REVIEW: It's nice to see the crews bonding in this episode, even if they're still sitting at different tables. And it makes the moral choices ahead a lot grayer too because sympathies aren't dictated by the shape of the pips on one's collar. B'Elanna's principles seem to have grown perhaps through osmosis, while Starfleet characters might show surprising pragmatism. One thing is for sure, that Seska is a real rabble-rouser, even devious, and seems to be meant to show off the rule-breaking nature of most Maquis (but stay tuned).

The guest aliens are the Sikarians, a generous people constantly in danger of terminal boredom. Their leader, space gigolo Ganth, has an interesting accent no one else shares, which is too bad because I'd love to call the whole of this culture Space Euro Trash. At least, that seems to be the characterization they're going for. While he's wooing Janeway, Harry's met a musical weather girl who teleports him to the Orgasm planet, and so it goes. Seduction in progress - tell us all your stories.

And there lies a possible trade between these people and our Intrepid crew. They need our literature and Voyager needs their spatial trajector to boost them thousands of light-years in one go. For once, it's Starfleet that's on the other end of the Prime Directive, and they don't handle it any better than other cultures we've seen. Pretty frustrating, eh? A back-alley deal is made with "book rebels" (the Sikarians' own brand of Maquis, you could say), but Gilligan's Island Syndrome rears its ugly head and it doesn't work.

But what is more interesting is just who mutinied against Janeway's express orders not to violate Sikarian laws. It may be notable that both Starfleet conspirators are family men who had an extra bit of motivation (in addition to the means and opportunity) to get themselves home in time for dinner. Carey has accepted his place in engineering, that's clear. Tuvok's betrayal is harder for Janeway to take. Mulgrew's a fine actress, managing to show anger at, and disappointment in, her "only friend", but at the same time, you can tell she's touched by his gesture, his trying to spare her a difficult decision. However good the performance, you might question whether it's a good idea to make the captain so emotionally open and vulnerable. We've just come off a mutiny after all, so making her look weak isn't building the audience's trust.

One small note on a crew member who DIDN'T mutiny: Tom Paris. Though earmarked as the bad boy of the spaceways, he's quite the straight arrow here, telling the book dealers to go to the captain with their plan, etc. Though is seems to stray from the series bible, I don't dislike this. He's been given a second chance, and a fierce loyalty to Janeway isn't misplaced.

LESSON: This may be why Tuvok's rank seems to take a dip sometime in the first season.

REWATCHABILITY - Medium-High: Prime Factors offers good performances and a very Trekkish moral dilemma. A high point of the first season.

Good Friday's God vs. Dinosaurs Championship Bout

There can only be one winner! God swings wildly... and connects!The dinosaurs' riposte?
Ah well.

Larry Gonick called it. Bahlactus counted to 10. Like history, we must move on.

Now Leaving Dinosaur Island...

SUPERMAN: THE MAN OF STEEL #6, DC Comics, December 1991
One last adventure on Dinosaur Island as Dinosaur Week++ wraps up, and it's Louise Simonson and Jon Bogdanove's chapter of "Blackout", a short story arc in which Superman and the villainous, immortal Mr. Z get amnesia while Metropolis suffers from a power outage. Would Dinosaur Island be one of the worst places to lose one's memory?
Short answer: Yes.

Escaping from a rampaging horde of "dinosaurs-formerly-known-as-brontosaurs", Superman flies the two of them out of there and into the waiting beak of a pteradon. Because if there's one thing to remember about Dinosaur Island, it's that the fauna gives no quarter. They've been raised on G.I. rations after all. Food that fights back.
Next, a diplodocus steps on them, and it's a while before they can get out of there.
I wasn't aware of an indigenous population of D. Island, but the way Bogdanove draws curvaceous women is distracting me from any kind of research. In the proud tradition pioneered by such luminaries as Raquel Welsh, prehistoric men barely rise above apes, but prehistoric women are real babes.

Let us interrupt this blog to bring you Superman wrestling a triceratops.
Ok, now that that's out of the way, back to the native peoples of Dinosaur Island. In particular, their mating rituals:
Oh Clark, even with amnesia, you are one straight arrow. It's all a prelude to a wedding, of course... but wait! What about Lois Lane!?! His one true love and current fiancée?

Well, just this one time, because you've been so nice throughout the last fortnight, I'll let you skip ahead to the end of Blackout (in Superman v.2 #62):
Yes, it's the very reverse of Superman II's memory-sapping kiss. I guess it goes both ways.