Friday, July 31, 2009

1001 Things I Will Not Do When I Play RPGs (Excerpts)

All based on true events.

1. I will not kick the GM out of my house during a game.

27. I will not make swords and arrows have the same sound effects as mech lasers and missiles.

125. I will not refuse to play a game on the single basis that "it isn't D&D".

250. I will not request to play a race not covered in the rules, nor will I imply that I will not participate otherwise.

251. I will not make such requests for my girlfriend either.

379. Samurai armor is not appropriate attire for a modern era game.

448. If the plane is crashing, I will not stay aboard and play guitar while the rest of the characters parachute out.

459. Certainly not because I think it's "funny".

460. Or because my character is based on a single silly premise which is more important than any standards of human behavior.

593. Disembodied heads - even those of Nazis - are not meant to become ventriloquist dummies just so I can use that skill on my character sheet.

665. I will not take out every manual in the collection until I find an optional rule that proves my point.

666. Certainly not the AD&D 1st ed. Manual of the Planes.

801. Why would I keep the bloody remains of smaller humanoid species in Mason jars? Answer: I would not.

928. I will not make the GM uncomfortable by putting the moves on him every time he plays a female NPC.

1001. I will not ask for the game to be moved to a Sunday morning "because it's the only time I can make it" and then not show up, especially if everyone else has a hangover.

Excerpts from 1001 Things I Will Not Do When I GM

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