Get In on the Ground Floor: 8 New Comics Series with Real Potential

There have been a number of interesting first issues recently, and this is my attempt at recommending the ones I most liked. My only rule is that the series is on its first or second issue at most. Comics at #3 you should nevertheless check out include Memorial, Fatale, Winter Soldier and believe it or not, Scarlet Spider.

Adventure Time (Kaboom)
I really didn't know anything about this cartoon series but the name, but if the comics series is anything to go by, I've got to become a fan. A series like this is just what the doctor ordered in these final months of Tiny Titans. It has the same whismical, anything-can-happen feeling, and gives its writers and artists enormous leeway (there's no actual "house style") in experimenting within the all-ages format (and I mean it, it's not just for kiddies). There's a continuing story about the Lich sucking up the Land of Ooo in his bag, but various charming back-up tales in each issue as well.

Conan the Barbarian (Dark Horse)
I'll come clean. I'm not as big a fan of Conan comics as I ought to be. Every time a new series crops up, I might look at it, but it never quite captures my imagination. Until now. Brian Wood's credit drew me in, and he's making use of Howard's original texts beautifully. The colorful type-written captions have less to do with the Age of Hyborea than with paying tribute to Conan's creator. And Becky Cloonan's art! Her Conan looks younger than most, but has a lot of charm. What I've seen of hers before was more cartoony, but here approaches Paul Pope's fluidity, and her action is always well choreographed.

Kirby Genesis: Dragonsbane (Dynamite)
Of all the Kirby Genesis projects, the youngest but most promising is Dragonsbane, a riff on Thor that uses the popular idea of merging all possible worlds into a fun mash-up universe. The veils between the different pantheons' dimensions have lifted and now Sigurd - he of the impressive helmet - goes on a journey across all myths to help a ghostly princess. All that and Kirby designs too!

The Manhattan Projects (Image)
In the same bold, high-concept way Jonathan Hickman is writing the Fantastic Four and SHIELD, he now brings us an original series that puts the Manhattan Project in the plural, because apparently, the atomic bomb was the least of their projects. The book features real-life scientists, including an Oppenheimer that is not at all what he seems, working in an Area 51-type facility and squaring off against the weird science of other WWII powers. The first issue features Kamikaze killing machines sent by death-powered zen Buddhists. So there.

Saga (Image)
It may be a bit early to tell, but Brian K. Vaughan's newest series efficiently creates a world that is half-space opera, half-myth & magic, using the narration of a character that has yet to be born to tell a story of forbidden love and the assassins sent to squelch it. Fiona Staples' expressive art finds the right balance between fantasy and science fiction, and is rather more spare than most SF art, which tends towards the technical and thus, the highly detailed. If the jury's still out for me, it's because Vaughan makes an effort to create an R-rated story, but none of the "R" elements seem necessary. I think he might have done better to aim for a wider audience, because his canvas deserves it.

Saucer Country (Vertigo)
Paul Cornell's newest project can be summed up thus: The West Wing meets The X-Files. We follow Arcadia Alvarado, present governor of New Mexico and candidate for the presidency of the United States. She also happens to be the daughter of illegal aliens, and have come out of an abusive marriage. And by illegal aliens, I mean people from Mexico, but Cornell may just mean aliens from outer space! That's a great comic book hook, but I'm really reading for the political story, which Cornell writes quite well.

Superbia (Boom! - is it me, or are there a lot of comic book companies with explosive names?)
Grace Randolph's Superbia has been called the Real Wives of Hollywood of the superhero set, with good reason. We've got analogs of the Justice League - through a deconstructionist lens not unlike Watchmen's, which is mildly disappointing - but the focus is on their girlfriends and spouses (of both sexes). Randolph has given us a good mix - the new wife not yet used to staying at home while her husband risks his life, the former villain who seems to have corrupted her boyfriend, the wife-as-business-partner, the stay-at-home dad. If we're going by potential, I've got to include this series in the list. Don't get put off by the Image-y cover, the interiors have a more cartoony charm.

Thief of Thieves (Image)
Robert Kirkman's newest project (but written by Nick Spencer, and there's nothing wrong with that) is the perfect comic for fans of Ocean's Eleven or Hustle. Redmond is a master thief, perhaps the world's best, and he's looking to get out of the life. Of course, there's always one more heist... Through his apprentice, the daring-do and flim-flam are mixed in with procedural elements, like how to steal a car with a minimum of risk. It's the comic book equivalent of hanging out with the wrong crowd and it exudes charm.

So get reading! And I wouldn't mind hearing your recommendations for new series *I* should check out.

What If... Wolverine Battled Conan the Barbarian?

Or more properly "What if Wolverine had lived during the age of Conan the barbarian?", which doesn't obligate them to fight each other. Of course, they WILL. This IS a Marvel comic after all. And a 90s Marvel comic at that. Ergo, Wolverine headlines.

What If vol.2 #16 (August 1990)
Based on: Uncanny X-Men #137
The true history: The Shi'ar are putting the X-Men on trial (they really are the galaxy's D.A.s, aren't they?) on the Moon for suffering Phoenix to live. While Phoenix goes Dark during their battle with the Imperial Guard, Wolverine gets lost in the Watcher's moonbase, gaining access to various "realities". The Watcher throws him out of there, putting him right where he can throw Colossus (Reverse Fastball Special!) at Phoenix, knocking Jean Gray back into alignment long enough for her to commit suicide.
Turning point: What if the Watcher had not kicked Wolverine out of his place?
Story type: Conan Crossover
Watcher's mood: Asymmetrically simian
Altered history: Uatu, realizing his base is full of Space Lawyers, chooses to follow the Watchers' non-intervention code to the letter, allows Wolverine to get lost among the various realities, landing the short-statured mutant in the ancient days of Conan. He's quick to adapt despite not knowing the language. Well, by adapt I mean steal clothes. He doesn't meet Conan right away though. He first comes across Red Sonja, though he first thinks she's Jean Gray.
I guess this proves all redheads in comics look exactly the same. It keeps Mary Jane Watson in the superhero movie business, anyway. Sonja is a sucker for anyone who can beat her, so they hit it off. Their first date is going well until Conan makes an appearance. They fight for the girl.
That's gotta hurt. Conan breaking a sword on your hide? Oh yeah, for sure. Conan leaves Logan for dead, but that night, the mutant rises, healed but for his mind which has regressed to savagery. He hunts down Conan who is in the middle of a negotiation for Sonja's soul with a dual-class magic-user/cleric and his pet demon. Wolverine's interference makes him open a portal back to standard continuity.
But in the ensuing demon-fighting, crap happens and Conan falls through the portal instead, and after Wolverine chops the spellcaster's head off, the whole dang temple falls on their heads. From then on, Logan takes Conan's place at Sonja's side and in the Hyborian legends.
But what of Conan and the X-Men? Well, the Cimmerian pops out on the Moon and fights the assembled aliens and mutants there. When he sees him attacking Sonja's lookalike, he knocks Cyclops out. And when Cyclops' psychic link to Phoenix is broken, and without Wolverine present to improbably pitch Colossus at Jean, she goes Dark for good and the Phoenix Force consumes the Earth. Yay!
Books canceled as a result: It's an Everybody Dies story disguised as a Conan Crossover! All of them except Wolverine books that replace Conan's. Marvel's output is reduced to Logan the Barbarian, King Wolverine, and the magazine-sized Savage Claws of Logan.
These things happen: The reverse happened when the Hyborian Age came to modern day New York, transforming it into a sword & sorcery version of itself. Though the X-Men fought the wizard Kulan Gath, they never met his archenemy Conan in that adventure (Uncanny X-Men #188-191).

Next week: What if Kraven the Hunter Had Killed Spider-Man?
My guess: Taxidermy gone wrong.

What If... Conan the Barbarian Were Stranded in the 20th Century?

What If? #43's special theme is sequels, specifically sequels to past What If? stories. Later this week, I'll have occasion to update one of those realities (which isn't in and of itself a What If?), but today, we have a point of divergence in a story that was already divergent: A sequel to What If Conan the Barbarian Walked the Earth Today? At the time, that story was something of a hit and the readers were promised in the letters page that we would never see a sequel, in large part because of the character of Danette, based on Roy Thomas' lady love. WIF #13 was in part a love letter to her and she wasn't meant to become a recurring Marvel character. Well, Peter Gillis and Bob Hall had other ideas...

What If Vol.1 #43 (February 1984)
Based on: What If? #13
The true history: In an alternate universe, Conan is temporally transported to modern day New York. With help from a sexy cabbie called Danette, he finds a way to get home. With the police thinking him a burglar, he runs to the roof of the Guggenheim and is hit by magical lightning that sends him back to the Hyborean Age.
Turning point: What if Conan got to the roof minutes sooner?
Story type: Conan Crossover
Watcher's mood: Headlights
Altered history: In this second generation reality, Conan misses his fateful meeting with a lightning bolt by getting to the roof sooner, and allowing the cops to get the drop on him. Conan fans should look away now.
If you thought his getting beaten in a climbing competition by Thor was bad, then I feel for you here too. This isn't going to get any better, just to warn you. Conan is given a hearing where his public defender tries to enter an insanity plea, but Conan isn't crazy, he's just a fish out of water. His non-crazy play: Escaping from the court room!
He soon becomes a criminal, though it takes him a while to learn the language and get the concepts we take for granted.
He moves up in the ranks of the underworld, and finally gets enough cash to show up at Danette's doorstep all pimped up. (Told you it was going to get worse.)
She throws him out, of course. Roy's lady isn't into pimp scum. She's not Conan's first or anything, so whatever. Roy can have her (Watcher's note: Roy gets her in every conceivable universe). Conan then decides to start his own gang, and recruits the baddest black bruisers around. They call themselves the Barbarians. They follow him gladly because he has "the spirit of a black warrior". I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.
His gang goes on a rampage, and when they try to rob a museum showing a Hyborean exhibition, FINALLY some Marvel heroes take notice. Well, hero singular. Captain America, in fact.
It's sword versus shield with Conan coming out on top, but never landing a killing blow. It ends in Civil War fashion, with Cap convincing Conan to give up and the barbarian walking away. Cap can tell he's a good man at heart, and as the police scratch their heads and bow down to the spirit of '76, he invites him to become an Avenger. Will he or won't he?
The Watcher never told us. Filthy cliffhanging liar.
Books canceled as a result: Marvel's Conan books take a turn for the worse and the Howard estate take their keys away.
These things happen: Afraid not, though this isn't the last Conan in the 20th century What If story. He'll be back.

Next week: What if Captain America Were Not Revived Until Today?
My guess: "Today" being 1984, I'll say... He votes Walter Mondale.

What If... Thor Battled Conan?

Where's What If? #38, you ask? Well, it's really just a collection of stories from a possible future of the Marvel Universe, and none of them are truly What Ifs? Not even What If Sharon Carter Had Not Died? (She didn't.) These have an Armageddon 2001 vibe about them, although a lot more geriatric, but they're really What Wills? more than What Ifs? Not to say #39's "turning point" isn't incredibly tenuous, but it's at least based on an actual story and goes on from there. It doesn't pick up the thread 30 years later. Actually, quite the opposite. It picks it up hundreds of years earlier!

What If Vol.1 #39 (June 1983)
Based on: Thor Annual #8
The true history: After fighting Storm Giants, Thor follows Loki into a cave whose tunnels lead to other times. He finds himself robbed of his memory at the Battle of Troy.
Turning point: What if Thor turned left? (Not a Doctor Who reference.)
Story type: Conan Crossover
Watcher's mood: Book of Destiny
Altered history: Thor winds up in ancient Hyboria without his memory or sense of his full power. Robert E. Howardiverse or not, this is a Marvel comic, so the heroes HAVE to fight.
Miraculously, Thor doesn't grind Conan into a fine paste, but I guess his superhero ethics are still active. Impressed with each other's abilities, they become friends. Oh, Marvel misunderstandings! You're so kooky! Thor not knowing who he is, he follows Conan's lead and becomes a thief.
But he really wants to find out who he is and is drawn to Crom, the Hyborian Age's god. Conan's a good friend. He abandons plans to kick Toth-Amon's evil wizard ass to lead Thor back to Cimmeria where stands the mountain that serves as Crom's abode. It's unclimbable by mortals though, and Conan must turn back.
At the summit, Thor meets Crom, who is not a nice deity at all. Crom restores Thor's memory and tell him that he has no business tooling around in an Age before his own. They could have worked together to get Thor back to his home time, but no, Crom's a douche bag and throws Thor's hammer real far instead.
So now begins our heroes' quest to find Mjolnir. What they don't know is that Toth-Amon has retrieved it and is tapping into its power to create tsunamis and other storm-related effects. The people of Hyboria know a good leader when they're scared sh*tless by one.
Thor and Conan eventually find their way there and storm the castle while Toth-Amon conducts a human sacrifice that will give him unrestricted power over the elements. He and Thor struggle for control of the Uru hammer, and lightning strikes them both down. Toth-Amon had it coming apparently:
Thor, for his part, dies a less dusty death, but he dies nonetheless. Or in Marvel terminology: "You will believe a god can DIE!!!" He leaves Mjolnir to Conan and asks him to take it back to Crom as proof that Thor won't interfere with his reign, and as a symbol for later deities that they should be friendly to humanity. Conan goes to the mountain and starts climbing...
But the Watcher won't tell us what happens next. He does infer that Conan becomes a god. Crom really had it coming.
Books canceled as a result: And so goes The Mighty Thor into the night.
These things happen: I'm surprised these guys never met in standard continuity!
Further reading from blogosphere's distant past: Comic Nerd (2007), the Original ISB (2006).

Next week: What if Dr. Strange Had Not Become Master of the Mystic Arts?
My guess: Does it bug anyone else that he's a Doctor but only has a Master's degree?

What If... Conan the Barbarian Walked the Earth Today?

Announced as "Next" since What If? #2, this Conan story took its merry time getting to the book's pages. Especially considering that What If? is a bimonthly. And what an odd choice for a What If story! I guess Roy Thomas always had it in him, and could never find a way to actually use it in one of his Conan comics. Be hard to explain Spider-Man to the Howard estate, I suppose. What's nice at least is that Roy pairs up with Conan artist John Buscema in this, so it's really "of a piece" with the Conan stuff.

And though I still question to relevance of this idea today, it managed to spawn at least 4 more What Ifs, including a direct sequel to this issue! Shame about those rights, eh?

What If Vol.1 #13 (February 1979)
Based on: Savage Sword of Conan #7
The true history: In the "full-length thriller" Citadel at the Center of Time, a wizard puts Conan in a bucket and drops him down the well of time. He sees the fall of Atlantis, the rise of Homo Sapiens and the reign of the dinosaurs. He manages to climb back up the rope and kick some magical ass.
Turning point: What if Conan was just a pound heavier?
Story type: Conan Crossover (trust me, it's a recurring type)
Watcher's mood: Critical of the readership
Altered history: The rope snaps and Conan falls back into the well to find himself in contemporary Manhattan (at 8:37 PM on Wednesday July 13th 1977 to be exact... His trip may or may not be responsible for the infamous New York City blackout). The future isn't what he imagined, which was this:
It's not much like that. Roy Thomas is more prescient than Conan however:
Right the first time, Girl #1! That is EERIE. Arnold's first Conan film didn't come out until 1982! Surprisingly, he doesn't much mix with any Marvel characters even if New York is lousy with them. Closest he comes to is getting ignored by Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson.
No, instead, he has a very Conan-esque adventure. For example, he attacks a cab at one point, and of course, the cabbie is a hot chick.
Despite the damage he does to her car, and the fact he doesn't speak English, she decides to take him home. Conan being Conan, he gets his Commerian groove on.
Danette is surprisingly well read and has a collection of books on history and architecture that comes in handy. Since Conan left his era from a ziggurat, then he must return via a zyggurat. The only one in NYC is upside down and...
...the Guggenheim! After having taken care of some rioters without killing them, Conan reverts to his true habits in the closing chapter after Danette gets shot by museum raiders. It's an arty massacre.
The temporary lovers exchange gifts (sadly, Conan doesn't wear the beret) and Conan gets to the roof of the building in time to be magically taken back to his own time.
Books canceled as a result: None.
These things happen: According to Wikipedia, Conan walked the modern Marvel Universe a number of times, for example in Excalibur #49, and Fantastic Four #405.

Next week: What if Sgt. Fury fought WW II in outer space?
My guess: The Romulans would lose.

This Time It's in Black and White

Friday Night Fights goes Classic as all entries for the next 12 rounds must be in glorious black and white! As Bahlactus commands, so must Sisko obey!

Starting us out nicely is a panel from Savage Sword of Conan #92, featuring the Cimmerian punching a guy with a sword for a hand right into the grip of a giant demon.All in a day's work for a barbarian with his own black and white magazine.