Loose Leafs Sink Ships

As the 80s turned into the 90s, the geek community was invited to buy a lot of binders. I don't know if the trading card explosion or advent of the CCG (Collectible Card Game) and their collection binders inspired others to produce binders for their products, but suddenly, both role-playing games and comics were giving us the chance to arrange information like WE wanted.

Question is: Who asked?

I think the first volley came from TSR with their Monstrous Compendium for AD&D 2nd edition.This monster of a binder was meant to replace the Monster Manual, with monsters given a full page, whether they deserved it or not, in black and white. The extra space did give the authors a chance to write more flavor for them, but as appendices were published, it seemed like they were going out of their way not to create monsters with names that would alphabetically put them in the middle of a sheet (2 monsters to a sheet, after all). The real problem, and this is true of everything in this post, was that they published more material than could fit in the two three-ringed binders they made available.

So while I appreciate the ability to pluck out the monster stats I need for a particular session and not have to drag a book with me, the overfull binder currently sit on my shelf with supplements unfiled next to them. At least TSR's Gamer's Guide to the Marvel Universe came soft bound with holes for binders. You didn't have to rip the sheets out if you didn't want to, and I never did.

Within the year, DC Comics was releasing and new version of Who's Who, also with two (admittedly gorgeous) binders.
What a frustrating product. On the one hand, the new format gave each character a full color illustration on one side, and more complete information on the back. A huge artistic improvement over the old Who's Who. However, the higher production values meant fewer characters could be features, which was what was great about the old series (which I still love best). To make sure headliners were in each "issue" (or collection of loose leaf pages), the characters came all out of order, with Superman in the first issue, for example. Since you could order them how you liked later, that shouldn't matter, but it was still confusing. Even before the '93 update, the two binders became stuffed to the gills and I started using ordinary binders to stock the overflow. Despite the problems, I could never resist a Who's Who, the proof being that I even bought the cheap Impact Comics Who's Who.
As if the DC binders weren't already full, Mayfair came out with a mirror Who's Who for their DCHeroes RPG. These came in 4 "issues" each collecting 4 of DC's issues, in the very same order so you could put the game stats and info right next to the character's Who's Who page. That's how they're filed in my collection. Frustratingly, Mayfair gave up on it before the 4th issue came out, which means the crazy Doom Patrol stuff that was in the Vertigo issue was never statted out. And I was so looking forward to using the Men from NOWHERE. Boo!

But back to DC's Who's Who release... Marvel quickly followed suit with perhaps the worst comics encyclopedia product ever. The binder, thinner but available in large quantities, was just the ugliest thing.
But the Marvel Universe Master Edition was ugly on the inside too. Always less inspired than Who's Who, Marvel Universe nonetheless offered some good art by a variety of artists. No more. Check out these multi-angled views in standardized art.
It looks like something Marvel gave their artists so they'd draw the characters the right height. The back wasn't much better. Sometimes you'd get a black and white panel, but instead of a proper history for the character, you'd just get a list of important back issues to buy. Overly technical, it lacked ANY flavor. Epilogue: No role-playing game ever made a mirror product for it.

Ultimately, binders and loose leaf were a very bad idea, and were consequently abandonned in favor of - gasp! - real books again! But I've got to live with their legacy. Overstuffed binders, pages that have strayed either from use or because their holes have been broken by the metal rings, and the lasting impression that it only really helped their makers come out with products without having to proof an index.

But I'm leaving the final judgment to someone who's been around a lot longer:

Cat of the Geek #15: Tom Kitten

Name: Tom Kitten Kennedy
Stomping Grounds: Oval office, Kennedy administration (until its untimely death on August 21st, 1962)
Side: Good
Breed: All-American Shorthair
Cat Powers: First White House cat since Teddy Roosevelt's Slippers. Worked heavily on the Space program. Best obituary ever: "Unlike many humans in the same position, he never wrote his memoirs in his days in the White House and never discussed them for quotation, though he was privy to many official secrets." (Alexandria Gazette)
Skills: Eat 6, Sleep 4, Mischief 7, Wit 2, Keeping Cuban Secrets 10
Cat Weaknesses: The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long. A name you can't grow up with.

All information from Great Cats The Who's Who of Famous Felines by J.C. Suares (1981), an encyclopedia I forgot I had, but that could help me with Cat of the Geek in the future.

How Long 'Til GooglePern?

That's PERN. Not the other thing you think you might've read.

Encyclopedia Week II continues with me heralding my love of books about fictional places. I know, I know... It's a big, beautiful world out there, but genre fiction makes such a big point of world-building, you can't help but be charmed by the detailed worlds created by writers and the enthusiasts who were allowed to fill in the blanks. Not everybody's a Tolkien, after all. Not every writer has the time to create their world's alphabets, folk songs and fashions through the ages.

When I was a pup, at the height of my science fiction and fantasy reading, I was lucky enough to be in the Science Fiction Book Club with my poor old mum paying the bills. The Club offered some great fake atlases and encyclopedias and I tried to get them when the price was right. One of these is the Atlas of Pern, and this despite the fact that I have yet to read any of Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders stories! Back then, I was a sucker for any map in any book, and this had a whole planet of locations to picture!Another precious piece of my collection is the Dune Encyclopedia, authorized by Frank Herbert (yay!) and totally contradicted by his son, Brian Herbert (boo!), filled with essays by Dr. Willis E. McNelly and others, in an alphabetical, encyclopedic manner. Though completely readable from cover to cover as a sort of chronicle, there is some insane detail in this book. How the Great Houses voted on important issues, just what religions influenced the Orange Catholic Bible, poetry and song à la Tolkien, linguistics (Fremen looks Arabic of course), and more. You've got biographies for characters that were never developped, illustations, and more fake footnotes than a Borges short story. It's what the book of Tlon would have been like, and as Herbert himself says, both amusing and fascinating.

In this age of wikis, the fan encyclopedia has gone the way of the internet, I suppose. Nothing like a real book in your hands to make a place seem real. After all, who creates history books and atlases about fake places? Wikis still stick very much to the "canon" though, and never really reach the level of the Dune Encyclopedia. And what about atlases? We have GoogleEarth technology! Why isn't it put to use mapping other planets? Where's our GooglePern, GoogleWorldofGreyhawk, GoogleRiverworld?

Seed sown. I'll be waiting.

Crossover! Dinosaur Week vs. Encyclopedia Week

Last week was Dinosaur Week II, so I'm bringing out another theme from last year. This is Encyclopedia Week II!

But to ease us into it is one of those fiction non-fiction books that are so precious to me, The New Dinosaurs by Dougal Dixon. Through speculative research and his brilliant illustrations, Dixon imagines what the Earth's fauna would be likeif the dinosaurs had never died out. Gone is the mass extinction and the rise of the mammals. Yet what remains is an Earth that looks like our own, with its continents in a familiar pattern and its habitats mirroring our own. Because the same adaptations mammals evolved would be required of the dinosaurs to fill certain niches, you'll find a lot that's familiar... and yet completely askew.

For lack of space, respect for the book and my scanner's limits, I'll only show you my favorites from each continent. You'll have to check out "An Alternative Evolution" yourself for the rest. Well worth it, dinosaur fans!

Africa: The Vespaphaga
One can only imagine that a saurian Dave Sim would have created a Vaspaphaga version of Cerebus. This is a perfect example of a new niche holder that looks a lot like the old one by virtue of having the same necessary adaptation.

Eurasia: The Formisaur
I'm sure there would still be ants on this alternate Earth, but the Formisaurs give them a run for their money. Their adaptation of relegating the egg-laying to a single female in any given colony has turned them into super-ants living in large thatch condos.

North America: The Nivesaur
I wanted to pick a dinosaur for the arctic clime, and the mountain-climbing, wrinkly Nivesaur fits the bill. That's one Big Foot you don't want to meet on the glacier.

South America: The Fluvisaur
There are a LOT of near creatures on this continent, including the one on the book's cover (a Caedosaur), but I love creatures of the sea, and this gentle(?) Amazonian river seal is just beautiful. It swallows stones to help it stay submerged. Take THAT, buoyancy!

Asia: The Multipollex
Who doesn't like an ape? An owl-ape? Descended from the hypsilodonts, these 2m-long (before the tail) creatures have developped two opposable thumbs on each hand. In line to become sentient?

Australia: The Gryllusaur
Australia always has to have the weirdest animals, and it's no different in the "Neozoic Era". What do you say? You just want to see the equivalent of the kangaroo? Ok.

The Oceans: Pinala Fusiforme
Killer penguin! 'nuff said.

Now, I've gone out of my way to show some of the weirdest beasts in Dixon's book, but there are still recognizable dinosaurs of the brachiosaur and carnosaur types. Some shapes are just more successful than others, and that's why they last so long, same way we still have crocodiles and lawyers. Check it out if you can.

Star Trek 933: Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual

933. Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual

PUBLICATION: Pocket Books, November 1991

CREATORS: Rick Sternbach and Michael Okuda

STARDATE: TNG era

TOPIC: Like Mr. Scott's Guide before it, this Tech Manual pretends it is from the applicable century (24th), though some asides go behind-the-scenes here and there. In actuality, it is largely based on the document TNG writers used to keep their Starfleet technology part of the cohesive whole. Each system on the Enterprise-D is described in technical detail, with black and white technical drawings supporting the text. The book includes a lot of the graphics seen on the show (whether on screens or the console layouts themselves), allowing for the clearest look at them yet. Special attention is taken to explain some of the more "magical" technology, like holographics, the universal translator, and just how the computer relays your voice to the right person aboard the ship. And there are also clear protocols for what to do when there's a yellow/red alert or an order to abandon ship, or when you have to beam someone down.

CONTINUITY: Features the first appearance of the saucer section's landing ability (Generations) and though seen on a different ship, the captain's yacht as well (Insurrection). The last chapter proposes design directions for a Nova-class ship, one of which looks like the actual Nova (Equinox).

DIVERGENCES: The revealed, graphical inside jokes are "divergent" even if they're on the same graphics seen on the show. For example, the large cutaway Enterprise features a duck, a plane, a mouse, and NOMAD. Similarly, the Sickbay's diagnostic wall charts your insurance coverage. The holodeck works better here than it does on the show, through a combination of holography, transporters and replicators, and computer-animated puppets. Most episodes put the lie to the solid (replicated) puppet concept. As for mistakes, there are few detectable ones, like on one drawing, the small and large shuttlebay doors are reversed. The Enterprise-E was not a Nova-class after all. The lineage of the Enterprise of course omits the NX-01.

ILLUSTRATION OF THE WEEK - Now I really want to see that third EV suit.
REVIEW: This is the most detailed Star Trek tech manual ever, which means it's both the nerdiest and my favorite of all time. Sure, it's not as pretty as later books, or as breezy as earlier ones, but the amount of information is pretty spectacular, not skimping on "stuff you haven't seen... yet!". I mean, this book tells you just where the auto-destruct charges are placed, what the deflector dish deflects and why, and just whose names are on the dedication plaque. How can you tell where you are on the ship by looking at a door number? How are departments structured? What do each of the 16 settings on a phaser do? And of course, there's all the stuff you'd expect like propulsion, weapons and sensors. A lot of it reads very much like jargon, but there's always just enough vulgarizing for the Deanna Trois out there who might not be gear heads. The behind-the-scenes bits, often about why choices were made, are interesting for everyone, as would be the roles of each job on the ship.

Next for the SBG Book Club: Strike Zone (TNG), Betrayal (DS9), Invincible Part I (SCE), Invincible Part II (SCE), Planet of Judgment (TOS).

Star Trek 887: Who's Who in Star Trek 2

887. Who's Who in Star Trek 2

PUBLICATION: Who's Who in Star Trek #2, DC Comics, April 1987

CREATORS: Allan Asherman (writer), Various (artists)

STARDATE: TOS to ST IV, including the Animated Series and the first DC comics series up to that point (circa issue #37).

TOPIC: 48 more pages of entries, this time from McGivers, Marla to Vulcans in DC's 1980s Who's Who style. Each entry includes a full color pin-up by a variety of artists and text on the history of their relevant character, species or ship. Space is given according to importance, usually one page, though important entries may get two (Romulans, Scotty, Uhura) or even three (Spock, the UFP). A half-page is possible, and this time the appendix features command symbols.

CONTINUITY: As with the first issue, information is culled from a variety of sources and sometimes invented, especially background on comics-only characters and the Animated Series' M'Ress. Starship designs under "Starships" include classes from old technical manuals.

DIVERGENCES: Saavik is drawn as Robin Curtis to my great chagrin (it's Kevin Maguire). There is no mention of Scotty's wife (not yet revealed in the comic series).

PANEL OF THE DAY - Walt Simonson on Romulans
REVIEW: What I said yesterday still stands, though there's a greater variety of artists on show. In addition to Simonson (above), another Perez (Gary Seven) and some Byrne, we get Murphy Anderson on Organians, Colleen Doran on Gillian Taylor and Jan Duursema on Uhura. There are three pieces by Todd MacFarlane back when he could draw.
He also gets the USS Surak and the Gamesters of Triskelion. There are even a couple of pieces by Curt Swan, and Morrow does a beautiful bagpipe-blowing Scotty. The text is once again peppered by quotations, some from the show, some invented in after-the-fact "interviews". The appendix is disappointing if only because we've seen this graphics before.

Star Trek 886: Who's Who in Star Trek 1

886. Who's Who in Star Trek 1

PUBLICATION: Who's Who in Star Trek #1, DC Comics, March 1987

CREATORS: Allan Asherman (writer), Various (artists)

STARDATE: TOS to ST IV, including the Animated Series and the first DC comics series up to that point (circa issue #36).

TOPIC: 48 pages of entries from Andorians to McCoy, Leonard H. in DC's 1980s Who's Who style. Each entry includes a full color pin-up by a variety of artists and text on the history of their relevant character, species or ship. Space is given according to importance, usually one page, though important entries may get two (USS Enterprise, McCoy) or even three (Kirk, Klingons). A half-page is possible, and a short appendix gives a small paragraph to everything else.

CONTINUITY: Information seems to have been culled from every possible source available, including novels and production notes, though not the Gold Key or Marvel series. New background information is given on the characters developped on the comics series, including Arex who is technically from the Animated Series. It also includes new information about "what happened later", such as Bailey spending a year on Balok's world before becoming an interviewer on Babel.

DIVERGENCES: Who's Who explains the discrepancy between swarthy Klingons and ridged Klingons as their being different species. Unfortunately, the reappearance of Koloth as a ridge Klingon in the comics series puts the lie to this, even if televised events hadn't told a different story.

PANEL OF THE DAY - I really like Denys Cowan's Gorn
REVIEW: I really do love DC's Who's Who series, and it's great they thought of doing a couple of volumes of Star Trek, though perhaps these come a little too early (only about halfway through the first series). Certainly not as much variety in artists as the actual Who's Who - with Denys Cowan, Ken Penders, Joe Brozowski and Ron Frenz drawing the bulk of the entries - there are still some nice surprises. John Byrne does a few entries, George Perez on Apollo seems perfect, I'm glad Gray Morrow got to do the character he is most associated with, McCoy. And how about that Howard Chaykin cover, eh? The text is more entertaining than most issues of Who's Who, with plenty of quotes from the television and even comics stories (to cover the slimmer information available), also throwing things like "interviews" after the fact. For example, David Bailey "remembers" his role in The Corbomite Maneuver, and transporter chief Mr. Kyle has similar memories from his time on the Enterprise. In short, anyone still alive and not in some kind of exile may have a chance to speak in their own voice.

Rom's Aliens

I love the Alien Races appendix in Marvel Universe Deluxe. All those aliens in black trunks... hehehe. Of course, Rom's species, the Galadorians, look just like humans.The Dire Wraiths, however, really don't.
One of the few aliens represented by a female. And a nude one at that!

Shame about forgetting to include the Galadorians' type of government... Prime Directorship?

Star Trek 758: Mr. Scott's Guide to the Enterprise

758. Mr. Scott's Guide to the Enterprise

PUBLICATION: Pocket Books, July 1987

CREATORS: Written and illustrated by Shane Johnson, "Based upon the engineering logs of Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott"

STARDATE: Just after The Voyage Home.

TOPIC: Straddling the line between fiction and non-fiction, this book takes its material to be true. In addition to discussing the USS Enterprise post-refit (movies I through III) deck by deck and system by system, it also discusses uniforms, insignia, support vessels (shuttles, workbees, lifeboats, etc.), equipment, and the history of the marvel of engineering that is the Enterprise. There are a lot of graphics on show, mostly floor plans and technical drawings, but some black and white pictures and design sketches as well. The just-revealed (at the time) Enterprise-A is discussed briefly in an appendix. Some of this information appeared either in the original 1975 Star Fleet Technical Manual (which I've never seen) or in FASA's role-playing sourcebooks, updated for the movie generation.

CONTINUITY: The book carries an introduction by Mr. Scott where it means to pass itself off as a manual for new engineers coming aboard. Enterprise's M-4 computer is replaced in the refit by an M-6, amusingly (well, if you're a complete nerd) skipping over the dangerous M-5 from The Ultimate Computer. The new self-destruct system charts what happens at the end of ST III. Transwarp drive is attributed to discoveries made during The Tholian Web, when the Defiant was sucked through an interphase (describing it as a hypserspace drive, really). The Enterprise-A was originally named the Ti-Ho, which explains why they jumped on the idea of renaming it.

DIVERGENCES: The dates are based on the FASA role-playing game's timeline and often contradict accepted canon. There are a heck of a lot of references to corporations for a world where money is supposed to be a thing of the past (maybe it isn't yet). The appendix indicates that the Enterprise-A was fitted with transwarp drive.

ILLUSTRATION OF THE WEEK - What's on the menu?

REVIEW: I remember being disappointed with this book when it came out (it was my first "non-fiction" Star Trek book), though it's really not too bad now. Part of the problem, I think, is that the deck plans all tend to run together, and while an actual-size technical drawing of a phaser might be cool (you can make like you're holding it to see the scale), it takes a lot of room for nothing. Worse still are the uniforms, which take 2 pages each (viewed from all sides). The book was also obsolete by the time it came out. It was after Star Trek IV, so the Enterprise as shown had already been destroyed, and the E-A so new that its accompanying text piece was all wrong once you saw it in action. It looks like the Enterprise's destruction kinda shafted Shane Johnson's labor of love. But for all that, it still has a lot to recommend. The text isn't as technical as later Tech Manuals' would be, it's even breezy in places. There are some lovely speculative touches like a micro-medical transporter to send samples to various labs instantaneously, multi-function worshiping altars in VIP quarters, and yes, bathrooms are clearly marked. Johnson seems to have had some fun making the world coherent, his essay on the refit especially interesting, with logical explanations for every cosmetic change. When discussing the new militaristic uniforms, he mentions how controversial the public found them (making the fans part of the world), and design sketches are presented as a contractor's work. So while it's not entirely efficient in its use of the 128 or so allowed, it still creates a nice enough impression that you've somehow come across a book from 200 years in the future.

Spaceknight Saturdays Encyclopedia Bonus

Encyclopedia Week is winding down, but I couldn't let Spaceknight Saturday pass without a non-spoiler look at Rom's Marvel Universe entries. Sadly, he didn't make it into Marvel Universe Deluxe #11's cover, and his Ditko-drawn picture is heavy on the Rom, and low on the Spaceknight.Hinting at a happy ending for our man in silver? I'm not reading the entry to find out.

I don't have all the issues of the original MU series, so I don't know what Rom's pic looked there, but he did make it into the really groovy Book of Weapons!
Rom's Neutralizer, Translator and Analyzer get no diagrams, but his armor does. Check it out!
Wow, dude's working on "brain remnants". I'm also enjoying the idea that his skin is actually a stasis field for his innards and may explain how the armor can be bonded to a person without anyone having to perform complicated surgery. Best issue of Marvel Universe EVER.

Encyclopedias Can Be Silly

DIRECTORY TO A NONEXISTENT UNIVERSE #1, Independent Comics Group, December 1987
This is a comic I first saw on D&D night in the hands of my good friend Robert Tam. Loved it. Took me a couple years to track down my own copy. This one's dedicated to Rob...

Directory to a Nonexistent Universe

Full title: Kerry Callan's Directory to a Nonexistent Universe

Strengths: Funny as hell.

Weaknesses: There wasn't a second issue.

Kerry Callan's Directory is basically a parody of Marvel Universe or Who's Who, starring characters of his own devising, in a clean, black and white, illustration style, each character usually accompanied by one-panel art. The characters are either funny takes on other comic book characters (The Envelope) or terrible puns (Here's-Looking-At-You Kid).

I don't want to spoil the whole thing for you, but the Directory includes the Black & Blue Panther, a masochist who loves to be beaten up and has clearly marked and unprotected the painful areas of his body on his costume (no special groin area though).

Remember how Bruce Wayne was inspired by a bat that flew through his window, frightening him? Well the Envelope has a similar origin... Can you guess what it is? Of course, the Envelope wasn't traumatized by anything so extreme as his parents being shot in front of him. He was pretty angry that he forgot his checkbook one day and couldn't pay for his groceries though. The Directory also has an entry for the totally average Mark!
Callan's superhero world is one where heroes are more likely to team up for group therapy than to catch criminals. Characters have prestigious jobs like working in coat hanger factories and while some don't have any super-powers, they might still be darn good athletes. "Probably better than you are."
After the encyclopedia entries, you get a short and ridiculous comic book story that includes them all. I think this is probably their only appearance, but I guess it justifies the need for an encyclopedia. It's a simple tale of characters being whisked off by a Beyonder-like being and forced to endure each other for 8 pages. Stupid-Man gets taken while he's trying to eat soup with a knife, and so on. Almost everyone makes it, but the Missing Lynx is conspicuously absent (from the Directory too). It's rather light on plot, but heavy on bad puns.

I suppose this is a winner only if, like me, you think puns are the height of wit...

Jeff Rovin's Super-Encyclopedias

You know, encyclopedic series are all well and good, but sometimes it's nice to have an outsider's eye, one that isn't tied to a specific era, company or editorial agenda. For example, Jeff Rovin's Encyclopedia of Super-Heroes (1985) has served me well as a reference despite being more than 20 years out of date. Covering super-heroes from every company, era, country and medium, Rovin's book can't show illustrations for every character, but does describe their costumes textually. There's an efficient biography, basic details like alter ego, first appearance and occupation, a quote from the character, and a brief comment that might cross-reference the character with another, or what it owed its popularity to. Black and white covers are sometimes reproduced and there are colors inserts as well. For example, this is how I first met Fatman the Human Flying Saucer, Super Green Beret and indy hero Captain Guts who apparently has the power to ejaculate with the "force of 10 fire hydrants".
There are characters from tv, movies, pulps, advertising, toys, folklore... everywhere. There are separate appendices to cover teams, obscure Golden Age heroes, minor superheroes (like seat belt safety advocate Beltman) and even the superheroes featured in Dial H for Hero. For today's readers, it may prove useful to get a peek at Golden Age characters either fallen into the public domain (Project Superpowers, Next Issue) or whose owners are desperate not to allow to (The Twelve). See the Green Llama BEFORE Alex Ross screwed him up!

Two years later, Rovin (former editor-in-chief of the Weekly World News, wow) came up with the Encyclopedia of Super Villains. This one I never did read cover to cover (it's pretty minty, in fact), but it's in the same style as the first one. Of course, at roughly the same size, it can't possibly be as complete. Most heroes have spawned a great number of recurring and one-shot villains, so a real survey would be huge. This Encyclopedia doesn't try to be bite off more than it can chew. There isn't even an appendix of obscure villains, for example. Instead, it tries to give a little bit of everything, including one-hit-wonders, Disney villains and mean-looking action figures.
Rovin later published Encyclopedias of Monsters and Cartoon Animals, but the subject matter didn't interest me as much and I never got them. Did anyone?

The One You Didn't Think I Had

G.I. JOE YEARBOOK #1, Marvel Comics, March 1985
This may beg the question "what the hell is that doing in your collection, Siskoid?" and the answer is "it's something I inherited from my kid brother". See, all he ever bought were comics related to the toy lines he collected. And since he really didn't care about comics, all his Transformers and G.I. Joes wound up in one of my boxes. So it's fair game, isn't it?

G.I. Joe Yearbook

Full title: That's the full title.

Strengths: Lots of death and mayhem.

Weaknesses: Like, maybe two pages of original material?

If you were a fan of G.I. Joe and absolutely had to have everything Joe-esque, then the Yearbook must've been a real rip-off. It reprints G.I. Joe #1, then gives you a recap of the next year's worth of issues using selected panels as well as a recap of the cartoon mini-series we all know and love, and finally offers some short character file dossiers that I'm pretty sure were on the back of the action figures. If you still have Cutter in the original packaging, check it out for me, will you?*
*This is extremely doubtful, since no one I know ever felt the need to buy the Cutter action figure.

So what you're left with is a two-page spread of the G.I. Joe secret bunker (if indeed, this spread never appeared before). . That makes it 82¢ a page, and if that's not military spending in action, I don't know what is. If you're NOT a major fan of G.I. Joe, then it's all new to you! (But you're not a fan, so would you really care?)

The layman knows G.I. Joe as 1) an action figure that does the dirty with Barbie when your sister's not looking; and 2) that cartoon with all the military specialists and WWF wrestlers that shoot their guns directly at the ground and never hit a goddamn Cobra goon. And given the training shown in this issue, it's not wonder they can't hit the broad side of a barn:
I mean, how close does a Joe have to be to hit his mark? But good news! The comics are not like the cartoon. There is an excessive amount of killing in this issue. No one with a name ever bites it, but goons? Yes. A whole fishing village, every man, woman and child? Yes. Some of it pretty harsh, like when Zap bazookas a couple of Cobra guys firing at his tank:
Those two guys weren't just killed. They were pulverized. The plot deals with the rescue of a scientist who has been trashing the military. Several Joes actually think about putting a bullet through her traitorous head and call it a day(!), but in the end they manage it, though Cobra Commander escapes with nothing more than a broken wrist (read into this what you will). The scientist learns a good lesson too: the military is actually a force for good. Go Military Complex Agenda!

Then there's the huge recap, which is interesting in its own right. It's got an "Eskimo mercenary", a love hexagon between all the Cobra folks, and Cobra holing up in Springfield. That first year of G.I. Joe might actually make an interesting (i.e. kitsch) read. When you go in with no expectations, you tend to enjoy it more than you should. I'm not deluding myself though...

A note on the copyright listing for this comic: I find it a hoot that Hasbro thinks it can defend a copyright for the name "Flash". Or for that matter, Copperhead, Deep Six, Hawk and Firefly. Seems like they didn't just steal their super-terrorist's name from DC Comics (Kobra is awfully close too, don't you think?).

Countdown to Ambush Bug Gets Encyclopedic

8 weeks to go... In the meantime, how about we respect Encyclopedia Week?

AMBUSH BUG #3, DC Comics, August 1985
After you've read all of Who's Who and Secret Files, what's left? Well, how about the stuff that the fine folks at DC want you to forget about? In the last few months of pre-Crisis continuity, Ambush Bug made sure we didn't forget.

Full title: The Ambush Bug History of the DC Universe

Strengths: Funny as hell. Peers into the hidden corners of the DCU. Bizarro Ambush Bug.

Weaknesses: Considering I laughed so hard, I broke all my furniture, I can't say a bad thing about this comic.

Ambush Bug is a personal favorite of mine because he's so totally crazy. Part of his insanity is that he believes he lives in a comic book and everything we know to be true behind the scenes is part of his delusion. It should probably be no coincidence that the late, great Julius Schwartz edited this project. He was one of the masterminds of the Silver Age, and oversaw the creation of such concepts as the multiple Earths, and breaking the fourth wall (usually by way of Superman winking at the reader). This issue of Ambush Bug is all about that.

Through the book, he tracks down a number of DC characters that have disappeared. All signs point to a mysterious continuity-obsessed woman who would have all done them in. Sometimes we get a hand-written entry, as with Ace the Bat-Hound:
He's one of many super-pets DC would have rather forgotten about. Super-Turtle, Itty and the Legion of Super-Pets are here too. You'll also find such bad ideas as Mopee, who was a magic imp responsible for all the heroes' origins; the infant Wonder Woman, Wonder Tot; Archie rip-off Binky; the sentient glue that fought the fab Teen Titans as Glop ("he's not a mop"); and more. At times, we'll get Ambush Bug in a trench coat, investigating things. My personal favorite is where he interviews an aged Richie Rich about the Green Team, a club of wealthy teens (except for their token black member who was dirt poor). And then there's Bat-Mite's explanation as to why he doesn't plague Batman with his magic pranks anymore:
Of course, a lot of this stuff DID eventually make it into post-Crisis continuity: Egg Fu, the House of Mystery, the Inferior Five, Itty, and even Ace the Bat-Hound. But you know what? Ambush Bug #3 may be single-handedly responsible for those. After all, are we to believe a writer was inspired to bring back some old lamo because of November 1965's Wonder Woman #157 or whatever? Or the 20-years-younger Ambush Bug #3? It's at least a reminder!

Since this is Ambush Bug, it's also got its share of stupid jokes, continuity references, digs at other writers and artists, fake ads, lollipops with kryptonite centers and letters answered by the Bug himself. Speaking of which, you'll find a letter by none other than 90s writer extraordinaire, Mark Waid, back when he was working on that Amazing Heroes fanzine.

In the final analysis, I'll be damned if this isn't the granddaddy of the comic book blog genre. It takes the same loving potshots at the absurdity of superhero comics we do daily.

Atlases of Impossible Places

Middle Earth. Flatland. Narnia. Lilliput. Oz. Earthsea. These are places that don't exist except in our imaginations thanks to great writers through the ages. And yet, here's a book that not only describes those places as if they were real, but also shows maps for a number of them: The Dictionary of Imaginary Places by Alberto Manguel and Gianni Guadalupi.

Manguel (History of Reading, The Library at Night) is to my mind the foremost expert on the reading experience currently living, so his compilation of places from utopian literature is a real gem. If these places can inhabit the reader's mind, are they not as real as all the places you've never visited but only read about? Isn't Hong Kong or Paris as mysterious to me as Wonderland or Treasure Island? Maybe more so, because I've read everything there is about the latter two.
As with Barlowe's Guides, there are rules to be observed here, or else the project would truly be endless. There are no heavens or hells, no places you couldn't walk to, no alien planets and nowhere in the future. And still, there are more places here than any Gulliver could ever hope to visit in a 10 lifetimes, from Borges' Library in Babel Library to Lovecraft's Arkham, going through Gondor, Merlin's Tomb and Wilde's Happy Prince City to get there. Beautiful illustrations and maps will make you believe these places have existed.
In a similar vein, Brian Stableford compiled the Dictionary of Science Fiction Places. Mostly interested in other planets from SF literature (you won't find Tatouine here), though other dimensions, advanced lab facilities and interesting space objects also get some copy. Where the book excels is in its indices (by author, work and entry) and cross-referencing (if you want to find alien artifacts like Clarke's Rama, check out Asgard, Orbitsville and the Thisledown). Where it doesn't is in the artwork. Very few maps, even for things that could be mapped, and while there are many illustrations, they're what you would expect from role-playing game rush jobs (think most of the early GURPS books).
Further, Stableford's criteria are indistinct. It's obvious it would be impossible to catalogue every place and planet in more than 100 years of science fiction, but only one entry (Ringworld) to represent Larry Niven's Known Space? (And no Dream Park, a personal favorite.) Yet there are at least three entries on Alan Dean Foster's Humanx series. More of a fun read than a complete reference work then, in which you'll find many SF gems that you'll want to read or read again. Some of the entries that strike me include Bradbury's Fire Station, Ballard's Vermillion Sands, Farmer's Riverworld, Well's Garden of the Eloi, Wolfe's Urth, Aldous Huxley's Hatchery, Harlan Ellison's Medea, and Herbert's Arrakis.

And yet, why choose Harry Harrison's Helior (from Bill the Galactic Hero), but not the alternate Earth from West of Eden? Why Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park, but nothing by Olaf Stapledon? Why so many entries based on Poul Anderson's work, but so few on Isaac Asimov's? Not saying those choices are wrong, just that there's no clear process at work here.

And perhaps these kinds of books will always leave out one of your favorites. Perhaps you'll even be inspired to try to complete the project as these fine people have with the Dictionary of Imaginary Places.