It's a big "from this moment forth" issue for Rom Spaceknight. Will he become Dark Rom? 90s Rom? Will he start wearing epaulets and thigh belts and bandoleers? Maybe a bandanna? Follow me to the other side of the Atlantic for Rom's European adventure, and find out!
As our boy Rom leaves Namor, Atlantis, and its new oracle, Sybil, behind, he detects another sentient life-form... whales! So he spends a little time with them, learns their language, hears their sad stories (it's all very Star Trek IV), and wonders who defends these might creatures from the Dire Wraiths. That's a missed opportunity to be sure: WraithWhale! But no, Rom's greatest enemy in this sequence is actually Bad Spelling: Translator on the blink, Rom? Leaving the whales behind, he reaches Wales (oh, I just that! Mantlo, you scamp!) where a young boy has been left on a scarecrow's frame, a sacrifice to the Wraith Witch. Once again, they've taken over a rural village and are stealing its children. Mind you, Sal Buscema seems to think Wales is a Balkan country or something: I've seen all of new Doctor Who and Torchwood, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually look like Latveria. In any case, Rom soon finds out why the Wraiths have been kidnapping children. Seems like Earth is perfectly aligned with the Dark Nebula, making their spells more potent than ever. So the Witches are all scrambling to perform their best rituals, one of which is turning Earth's children into a vast Wraith army we dare not shoot at. After revealing her plan, the Witch teleports away, leaving her doughy stooges to take care of Rom. While some of them take the Welsh boy into a warp hole, the others make a dreadful mistake. You think you're safe because Rom has lost his Neutralizer? Well, at first they are, because he goes a little crazy trying to dig his way though spacetime. But he doesn't take failure well. He goes hand to hand. Harsh! Though Rom has killed inadvertently in the past (fighting filthy Skrulls on Xandar comes to mind), this is a lot more visceral. It's with his bare hands. And there's a lot of damage you can inflict with simple, old-fashioned super-strength Remorse? Not our boy. Not now anyway. No, the adrenaline surge causes him to imagine himself as a (Welsh) knight in shining armor. Look at that hero shot. Also following the theme of transformation, we follow Brandy to Starshine's grave... The ghost of Starshine imprints itself on her and gives her light-based powers. Will Brandy join the fight against the Wraiths? Will Rom be able to have a relationship with her now that she's two of his girlfriends in one? Or does she need to steal the soul of Ray-Na as well? (Collect them all!) The only way to find out is to read on...
PUBLICATION: Star Trek #27, Gold Key Comics, November 1974
CREATORS: Unknown (writer), Alberto Giolitti (artist)
STARDATE: 20:27.3 - Follows issue #25.
PLOT: The Enterprise is ordered to survey the Federation's coldest planet, Floe I. They find shocking pink, bipartisan turtle people who shed their shells when they get back to the warmer air of their underground city. The landing party asks too many questions and is captured, some of them thrown into a firepit with blue-skinned Floes, punished for their coloration. Spock and Krisp learn of the Floe's Apartheid regime and how the blue skins have been denied a "speeder serum" that would allow them to survive the cold temperatures. Meanwhile, Kirk and Uhura have a bit of business where they're buying time or maybe sending an encoded message, hard to say. Spock and Krisp break out, menace the co-leaders of Floe, who in turn allow them to see the serum factory, where civil war breaks out. The crew escapes and justify their Prime Directive blunder by the fact that Floe will soon be dead anyway because it's continually moving away from its sun. In a final twist(?), the survey is revealed as a last-ditch attempt by the Floes to have themselves remembered as a perfect society before they go.
CONTINUITY: Dr. Krisp is back (issue #19)! This time, she holds it together and doesn't need to get slapped by Kirk.
DIVERGENCES: Uhuru and Uhura are used interchangeably. See REVIEW for this issue's scientific balderdash.
PANEL OF THE DAY - Look kids! Comics! REVIEW: Pure nonsense. And I don't mean that in a good way. First, the science doesn't make any sense. We have planets careening away from their stars, aliens described as almost human but drawn as reptiles, people standing in fire with no ill effects (Spock and Krisp take "heating tablets"), and talk of the landing party communicating telepathically because they can't inhale the freezing atmosphere (but the speech bubbles make it unclear if people can read each others' thoughts). The plot is a confusing, illogical mess as well. If the aliens wanted to be well remembered, why do they attack the landing party as soon as it arrives? I'm not sure I understand Kirk's time-wasting gambit, or how Spock and Krisp escape, or whether Floe society is living a super speed or not, or what the aliens' motivation is during the climax. And what a talky! There's entirely too much exposition, none of it making sense, bla bla bla. I knew we were in trouble as soon as the shocking pink aliens came out of the ice, frankly.
Unlike the Oscars, where they give out statues to audio board designers and software programmers in an underground ceremony far from the red carpet, we here at the SBG like to give the technical achievement awards right in the open. No starting another blog on MySpace just for them. One thing we do the same however is getting a pretty actress to host the evening.
Last year, we had the amazing luck of having Carey Mulligan wit us, but Sally Sparrow wasn't available this year. No problem, Naoko Mori agreed to fill in. It's her year. Torchwood fans know why.
Character find of 2008 - Donna Noble. I am astonished at how quickly I forgot all about Martha Jones.
Worst character find of 2008 - Susie on Survivor Gabon. Dullest, most boring and insipid Survivor to get so near the big prize since Vicepia. If she'd won, I'd have self-destructed on the spot.
Best movie trailer moment of 2008 - Iron Man, for the second year in a row! How is that possible? Thanks to the good people at the Onion.
Also available on the Iron Man DVD!
Best use of a Top Gun song in a movie I saw in 2008 - As Tears Go By (Wong Kar-Wai)
Oh those crazy kissing cousins!
Best comeback of 2008 - The wooden stick. I was really happy for it when it was inducted into the Toy Museum Hall of Fame. Perhaps unnaturally so.
Continent on the rise in 2008 - Africa. It's about time the "Dark Continent" got some love in entertainment media. DC Comics visited it in both Vixen and Unknown Soldier, and 24 kicked off its newest season with an African story. In all three cases, even when the specific country was fictitious, it felt like a legitimate representation of that long-ignored part of the world.
Biggest disappointment in gaming - The end of Pyramid Online. We'll see how well the pdf monthly version will do, but the loss of Pyramid's searchable database of articles alone is a great loss to the role-playing community.
Greatest and worst thing about Grand Theft Auto IV all rolled into one - Little Jacob's dialect
Favorite to replace David Tennant as the Doctor - Arabella Weir. Yes, I'd like a woman in the role and thought she did a great job in the Big Finish audio Exile. Or perhaps someone her type, but a little younger (like early 40s). Controversial choice? Bite me.
Well, my thanks to Naoko for a wonderful night. We miss you already!
PLOT: The Enterprise visits a beautiful planet with lots of wild animals, but a perfectly peaceful society based on feudal Japan. The crew starts noticing odd things however, like the fact there are no more than 6 different faces, no children, no concept of history, etc. One of their young people is declared a mutant when he questions the wisdom of his society and is put to death. Meanwhile, Spock discovers a temple in the forest, a temple where Yamoto lives, a scientist who has cloned the perfect world (which is also a massive spaceship), and who now wants to add Spock to his collection. Back in town, Kirk convinces the female guest-star to rise up against the regime and they hit the temple. The crew escapes, but she remains to destroy Yamoto and the entire planet. Our story ends with Kirk convincing the Federation Council that this would all have happened anyone and that it's not a breach of the Prime Directive.
CONTINUITY: Security officer Manning makes a second appearance after issue #21.
DIVERGENCES: Uhura appears once again as Uhuru, but for the first time, the colorist has acknowledged the fact that she's black. Except he thinks black people are dark gray.
PANEL OF THE DAY - Philip K. Dick moment of the day REVIEW: Not a bad tale on the surface, but it does have a lot of problems. First, and it may be because of the colorist, it has a unwittingly racist undercurrent. The Japanese characters are a pale yellow (except Sulu, so yes, it's an alien skin color, but geez) and "all look alike". With its Fu Manchu villain, it very much has the mood of an old "yellow menace" Golden Age story. Then there's the atrocious "future speak". I kinda like the fact Uhura/u "vid-sorbed" information, but there's also the kid working on a "semi-quadrainial psi-sided convertional nothing" (looks like a model house to me). The story ends oddly, with the crew guessing at what happened next before the Council to get themselves off the hook. A really odd changing of gears and not at all heroic. So while it has some nice SF ideas early on, it doesn't pass muster.
When I called them the "First Annual Siskoid Awards" last year, I kinda set myself up for doing them again, didn't I?
So here they are, rewarding excellence in stuff I've seen, heard or read this year (regardless of its original inception date). As usual, only new material will be up for consideration (or else I'd just read Hamlet once a year and be done with it). No money or prizes will actually be awarded.
[Insert "funny" or "inspirational" year-in-review montage here]
Best Book of 2008 - The runners up are... 5. Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon 4. The Lemon Table by Julian Barnes 3. The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland 2. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. ...and the Siskoid goes to: The Library at Night by Alberto Manguel - "This 'history' of libraries and book collections is actually more of a meditation on the concept of libraries, both public and personal. What does our choice of books say about us? What does the way we classify those books? How do they live in our minds? Attention is even given to imaginary libraries, electronic media and the act of book burning. The library as everything. There isn't a page in this book that doesn't contain a fascinating fact, a lucid observation or a well-chosen quote." That's me back in May. The book was responsible for my ongoing re-shelving project and my constantly calling the Doctor Who episode "Silence in the Library" by the wrong title.
Best Comic of 2008 - The runners up are... 5. Tiny Titans by Baltazar 4. Teen Titans Year One by Wolfram and Kerschl 3. Jack of Fables by Willingham and Sturges 2. OMAC Omnibus by Jack Kirby ...and the Siskoid goes to: The Incredible Change-Bots by Jeffrey Brown - "From the roll call of featured robots to the very end, every page has something to recommend it. Sometimes, it's a joke, and sometimes a bit of nostalgia, or often just the charming artwork. Brown's naive style is surprisingly up to the challenge of drawing vehicular transformations, and who'd have thought coloring a book with markers would actually be appealing? My favorite Incredible Change-Bot? Balls." Says it all. I'm hoping to see more of Brown's stuff in this style. (And let me just say I can't BELIEVE there are two Titans books on my list either.)
Best Film of 2008 - The runners up are... 5. Iron Man by Jon Favreau 4. Junebug by Phil Morrison 3. Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid by Sam Peckinpah 2. There Will Be Blood by Paul Thomas Anderson ...and the Siskoid goes to: The Dark Knight by Christopher Nolan - Damn it, I hate to do the obvious, but no film generated more commentary on the Internets than did TDK, and each time you read one, you'd uncover something new. My main contribution was The Dark Knight: A Morality Play, which is more complete than anything I'd say here now.
Best TV Series of 2008 - The runners up are... 5. Doctor Who Series 4 4. Torchwood Series 2 3. The UNIT Seasons 2-3 2. Spaced Series 1-2 ...and the Siskoid goes to: The Wire Seasons 1-5 - I watched a lot of very good television this year, so some omissions really do break my heart, but there's no doubt in my mind that The Wire belongs at the very top. I might have only given the award to the very best seasons (1, 3 and 4), but "all the pieces [do] matter", so the whole thing gets my best possible recommendation.
Best TV Episode of 2008 - Limited to one per Season of any series. The runners up are... 5. Spaced Series 1 - Epiphanies 4. Veronica Mars Season 1 - Pilot 3. Extras - The Extra Special Series Finale 2. The Wire Season 5 - -30- ...and the Siskoid goes to: The UNIT Season 3 - Pandemonium - Nothing excited me more this year than The Unit going all Jason Bourne on my ass following Season 2's apocalyptic finale. With the Unit dismantled and disavowed, Jonas and his team go rogue and have to fend for themselves as well as clean up their reputation by uncovering a massive CIA plot. Purists might feel like the show went from realism to superheroic, but I think they keep that balance. Though Season 3 was aborted because of the writer's strike, it's still the best.
Best CD of 2008 - The runners up are... 5. Cliché Hot de Radio Radio 4. Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid soundtrack by Bob Dylan 3. Veronica Mars Unofficial Soundtrack (cheating here a bit, but there are a LOT of tunes on that list that I've fallen in love with) 2. Doctor Who Original Television Soundtrack Series 3 by Murray Gold ...and the Siskoid goes to: '64-'95 by Lemon Jelly - I discovered this DJ duo thanks to Spaced Series 2, which used one of their tracks on its very last moment, and from there got interested in all their music. My favorite overall, right now, is '64-'95, each track sampling a song published somewhere during those three decades. It ends with William Shatner's Go, and if that doesn't sell you...
And now for the category you've been waiting for:
Stupidest Move in the Geekaverse 2008 - The runners up are... 5. Batman's artists (DC Comics) - For some insane reason, DC has their maverick writer/cash cow, Grant Morrison, on their best-selling superhero (the same year his biggest ever movie comes out) doing a majorly hyped story arc, but they can't be bothered to give him a good artist. And I don't mean that Tony Daniel is not a good artist, I mean that he's a TERRIBLE one. Most of the time, you can't tell what's happening or who it's happening to, truly impairing the story Morrison is trying to tell. And when we get relief from Daniel, it's the likes of Ryan Benjamin who is ever worse. Over on JLA, Ed Benes takes all the attention from the Caped Crusader in favor of Black Canary's crotch. I mean, aren't these supposed to be DC's flagship books? Does no one decent want to draw them? Thank God for Trinity. 4. Heroes: Villains (largely placed at the feet of Jeff Loeb) - We blamed last year on the writers' strike, but turns out it was human error all along. Suffering from its loss of momentum, Heroes went from surprise hit to terrible failure this year as characters acted out of whatever motivation the plot required of them, twists and turns happened to be the same twists and turns offered in the first two seasons, logic and continuity went out the window and to make matters worse, Jeff Loeb inserted a number of unhealthy Rulk references into the scripts. Result: Loeb and another producer out on their asses... but is the damage irreversible? 3. Secret Invasion/Final Crisis (tie; DC and Marvel Comics) - I really can't choose between Marvel's slow-paced, mistitled, ultimately irrelevant, internally inconsistent event based on DC's 20-year-old Millenium where nothing at all happens in the main book at all except pointing at what other series you should be buying, and DC's opaque, chronically late event with its apparently limitless number of tie-ins and totally contradictory lead-in mini-series. I think Secret Invasion was the lamer of the two, but it's looking like Final Crisis will be another case of Editorial shafting Morrison. 2. Frank Miller, Superstar - The Goddamn Batman may or may not be to your tastes, but I think it makes a paltry ambassador for the character. And yet, the Dark Knight/300 connection will probably have snared a few souls from the non-comics set. And now, we have The Spirit, touted as the worst comic book adaptation since League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (hey, this is also the guy who wrote Robocop 2, don't act all surprised). Here's hoping his shining star has finally crashed to earth. ...and the Siskoid goes to: My gamer buddy Fred stopped by the cops while wearing his Ash costume to a midnight showing of Army of Darkness - Yes, I have to go local once again for my top pick, but when you consider Fred was captured chainsaw-handed at 4 P.M. standing in line ALONE at the movie house, it blows everything else out of the water. All the details HERE.
What would have been YOUR picks? Tomorrow: The Technical Awards as given in a ceremony prior to this one!
PUBLICATION: Star Trek #25, Gold Key Comics, July 1974
CREATORS: Unknown (writer), Alberto Giolitti (artist)
STARDATE: 19:24.8 - Follows the last issue.
PLOT: The Enterprise discovers a planet of tiny people who immediately treat Kirk and crew like the Lilliputians did Gulliver. Seems like they're continually shrinking because of the odd solar radiation and need help before they go microscopic, but their tiny general is afraid the giant races will conquer them and use them as dolls. Kirk shows good faith though and offers to get some radiation samples and maybe find a cure for them. But when Scotty spacewalks to the radiation collector, he gets a great big dose of shrink ray and soon finds himself fighting dust avalanches and giant microbes, courtesy of the general's two tiny soldiers who blow a hole in McCoy's sterile aquarium. Thankfully, Spock and McCoy rig a reverse-shrinking ray, turn Scotty back to normal, and give it to the midgets of planet Kujal, where the general is punished by being the last man brought back to normal height. Oooooh, harsh!
CONTINUITY: None.
DIVERGENCES: Uhura is referred to as Uhuru.
PANEL OF THE DAY - Scotty's tiny fashions REVIEW: I'd be a little more down on this story if One Little Ship wasn't in the canon... Face it, it's silly even on DS9, and here, it's outright stupid. But any more stupid than, say, Wink of an Eye? Once you accept the lame justification for the shrinking, it's still a pretty derivative story, especially the Gulliver bits. It gets better once Mr. Scott shrinks though. Giolitti draws an awesome microbe, Scotty actually gets a couple of good lines, and McCoy takes care of the soldiers easily and humorously. The back end is better than the front, but it's still very silly indeed.
It's a big "from this moment forth" issue for Rom Spaceknight. Will he become Dark Rom? 90s Rom? Will he start wearing epaulets and thigh belts and bandoleers? Maybe a bandanna? Follow me to the other side of the Atlantic for Rom's European adventure, and find out!
Translator on the blink, Rom? Leaving the whales behind, he reaches Wales (oh, I just that! Mantlo, you scamp!) where a young boy has been left on a scarecrow's frame, a sacrifice to the Wraith Witch.
Once again, they've taken over a rural village and are stealing its children. Mind you, Sal Buscema seems to think Wales is a Balkan country or something:
I've seen all of new Doctor Who and Torchwood, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually look like Latveria. In any case, Rom soon finds out why the Wraiths have been kidnapping children.
Seems like Earth is perfectly aligned with the Dark Nebula, making their spells more potent than ever. So the Witches are all scrambling to perform their best rituals, one of which is turning Earth's children into a vast Wraith army we dare not shoot at. After revealing her plan, the Witch teleports away, leaving her doughy stooges to take care of Rom. While some of them take the Welsh boy into a warp hole, the others make a dreadful mistake.
You think you're safe because Rom has lost his Neutralizer? Well, at first they are, because he goes a little crazy trying to dig his way though spacetime.
But he doesn't take failure well. He goes hand to hand.
Harsh! Though Rom has killed inadvertently in the past (fighting filthy Skrulls on Xandar comes to mind), this is a lot more visceral. It's with his bare hands. And there's a lot of damage you can inflict with simple, old-fashioned super-strength
Remorse? Not our boy. Not now anyway. No, the adrenaline surge causes him to imagine himself as a (Welsh) knight in shining armor. Look at that hero shot.
Also following the theme of transformation, we follow Brandy to Starshine's grave...
The ghost of Starshine imprints itself on her and gives her light-based powers. Will Brandy join the fight against the Wraiths? Will Rom be able to have a relationship with her now that she's two of his girlfriends in one? Or does she need to steal the soul of Ray-Na as well? (Collect them all!) The only way to find out is to read on...
