Top 5 Things I Don't Need to See on Another Doctor Who DVD

If you follow This Week in Geek at all, you already know that I buy every single Doctor Who DVD that comes down the pipeline, Classic Who as well as New Who. They feature a lot of content, especially the classic DVDs, but not all of it is interesting or entertaining. Here then are the 5 things I wouldn't mind NEVER AGAIN SEEING on a Doctor Who DVD release.

5. Continuity linksThe Classic Who releases cram as much archival footage on the disc as they can. These include presenter voice-over from just before or just after the episodes. While an example for each year or program line-up would be interesting, I don't think we need every single announcement from every single time the episode was shown on every possible BBC channel EVER. Especially when they're all the same. Yes, yes, I can buy Pyramids of Mars on video, leave me alone. I can't bear to listen to the 80s theme starting and ending again.

4. Menu spoilers
While footage is used in the animated menus for Classic Who, the shows are old enough that I don't consider them spoilers. If they would spoil you, just quickly press Play All before it goes too far. The New Who releases are a different story. The Series 4 menus, for example, spoil Davros and the Daleks' ultimate appearance. And Children of Earth uses a scene from the last episode right in its menu. And you HAVE to watch them to get to to the highlightable text! Sure, I'd usually seen the episodes beforehand, but not everyone has, and I lend my sets a lot. I'm spreading the word. I just don't want to spread the spoilers.

3. "You seem to be drifting sweetheart..." Series 4 trailer
Wilf is charming and it's a good trailer overall. Except when every single release, New and Classic, makes you sit through it (or skip through it, in my case). Can't wait for Series 5 to get the DVD treatment to they can start advertising that instead. Come back in a year and I'll be raging about the "What have you got for me this time?" trailer instead, no doubt. And hey, the New Who releases could stand to advertise the Classics a little too. Let's change it up. Even the BBC America ad did.

2. Isolated scores
I guess they have the tracks available, and so they're on there, but who thought Doctor Who 80s electronic fart music was anything anyone would listen to? Painful. And the only feature I do not "flip". And that makes me feel sad.

1. Terrence Dicks' damn Pertwee bouffant story.
There are a couple of stories Doctor Who writer/script editor Terrence Dicks likes to tell on every single release. The most annoying of these is without a doubt the one about telling what year a Jon Pertwee story was filmed in based on how big his bouffant has gotten. Yes, or you could look it up, or having innate Whovian knowledge that tells you that Inferno is in his first year, for example. Every time he tells it, it's like the first time too. Oh, he's so funny, and they all chuckle, though I imagine they've heard it before as well. Sometimes he'll tell it in both the commentary and the making of documentary. Wouldn't want anyone to miss it, after all.

But on the whole, the Classic Who DVDs are some of the best TV DVDs ever, focusing intensely on each story individually, ferreting out old cast and crew members for new interviews, giving things a fun comedic spin, and looking at all facets of the Doctor Who experience. (They should really tackle the novels in some extra some time, just like they did the comic strips. It's sorely lacking.) The New Who stuff is less surprising, and missing some things (the Series 2 TARDISodes, the Graske tv game), so it could definitely learn from its classic cousin.

What are your favorite/least favorite Doctor Who DVD features?

Star Trek 1284: The Trap

1284. The Trap

PUBLICATION: Star Trek: The Next Generation - The Killing Shadows #1, Wildstorm Comics, November 2000

CREATORS: Scott Ciencin (writer), Andrew Currie, Bryan Hitch and Chris Chuckry (artists)

STARDATE: Unknown (between Generations and First Contact)

PLOT: The Bodai Shin, elusive space ninja, have targeted a scientist working on a way to beam entire cities (away from the Borg, for example). The Enterprise-E goes to his colony to protect him, but he doesn't believe they can. In fact, the ship is under attack by Bodai Shin ships and soon one of the ninja has infiltrated the crew and taken Troi. Down below, Picard, Data and a visiting Worf fail to protect the scientist when the Bodai Shin attack. These claim that with him dead, they gain access to his research, but that they are really after Picard. Only the intervention of a secret ally allows the heroes to escape the Bodai Shin's clutches - Tasha Yar's daughter Sela...

CONTINUITY: Sela was last seen in Unification (or in the novel Imzadi II).

DIVERGENCES: None.

PANEL OF THE DAY - How you get Worf back with his TNG friends.
REVIEW: Star Trek does ninja! Sounds like a fun premise for a Trek comic to me! And it does work, in large part thanks to Andrew Currie's moody art. His likenesses are excellent, his cyberpunk city credible, and his techno-ninja cool without going too far into an anime sensibility. I could stand for a little more clarity in the space action scenes, but his swordplay is good fun. As a post-Generations story, it plays like a Star Trek movie, with Worf showing up fortuitously while on shore leave. Well, if there's gonna be melee combat, you really do need Worf (though Picard holds his own). The Bodai Shin are an interesting enemy, with lots of misdirection and cloaking tricks, and their mysterious agenda should develop through the series. Bringing in Sela is also an intriguing notion, as is the start of Data's exploration of the concept of faith, something they avoided on the television series. Good start!

This Week in Geek (7-13/06/10)

Buys'n'Gifts

Sometimes, both frequent and occasional guests of Kung Fu Fridays pick something up in a bargain bin and make a donation to the Asian cinema pot. And so it came to pass that Bass, former artist of Sniper Ninja Bears, handed me Takeshi Kitano's Violent Cop this week. To you, sir, arigato. As for purchases, I bought the last 7 issues of Enlightenment, the Doctor Who Information Network's now 157-issue old fanzine. They're based in Canada, and Lance Parkin's re-published articles in Time, Unincomportated vol. 1 gave me an idea of the bimonthly zine's quality. At 5 bucks a pop, shipping included, I must say they're a good deal. I've read a couple already (between 20 and 28 pages each, generally) and they make good bedside reading. Looks like I'll get a subscription soon!

Spring is always dangerous because Amazon has a lot of sales. So now I own all 7 seasons of Mission: Impossible, finally reasonably priced for a product with no extras.

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: Battlestar Galactica's third season is the biggest of the BSG boxed sets and the only full-length to season to get a single release. So it took me a little longer to get through. The season takes us from the New Caprica WTF!? moment to an even more extreme WTF!? moment as we enter the last act. It's probably the most hard-hitting season yet of the four, and a couple episodes are certainly in the running for my "Best" of 2010. The DVD includes commentary tracks on all episodes, sometimes more than one (you might want to avoid actor Mark Sheppard's on the finale, he just never says anything), as well as tons of deleted scenes, the Resistance webisodes, and "video blogs" in which everyone takes the piss. It's fun, sly comedy set around a show that has very little comedy in it.

Because we were walking the Relay for Life Friday night, we pushed our regular Kung Fu Friday to Saturday (but it's ok, because the Relay had a Ninja Leg - too early to skulk around though). The movie was a piece of 80s vigilante kitsch featuring Yuen Biao and Cynthia Rothrock entitled Above the Law (AKA Righting Wrongs). I can't recommend the story, or dialog, or acting, but Rothrock kicks serious ass and Yuen Biao has some very cool stunts. I guess that's why the Dragon Dynasty label carried it. One of the problems is that its mix of broad comedy and sadistic violence doesn't sit well with me. And if the central theme is that the system of justice doesn't work, it's undermined by how the movie just doesn't understand how the law works! And then there's the 80s synth music, usually a sure-fire way of bringing a movie's watchability down. The DVD includes a diverting commentary by expert Bey Logan, interviews with Yuen Biao, Cynthia Rothrock and Peter Cunningham, and a happier alternate ending that picks up the action much sooner than it should.

Books: Theatre of War is current Doctor Who editor and prolific writer Justin Richards' first Doctor Who novel, and it's a really good debut. His work is very plotty, and here has room to breathe, whereas I always find his 9th and 10th Doctor books just plot and no characterization. In this one, the 7th Doctor, Ace and Benny take part in an archaeological dig on a theater-driven planet. Richards plays with theatrical tropes, drops plenty of literate (though sometimes silly) references, and manages lots of twists, turns and surprises (though having read Martha in the Mirror before this means I've seen one of the devices before). AND it's the first appearance of the Braxiatel Collection. It's yet another hit on the New Series novels that a writer clearly good at writing characters and detailed worlds now writes and edits books too often lacking in them.

RPGs: No much movement on that front, as our Doctor Who game is stalled until the end of the month because of player unavailability. So we started working on the next phase of our gaming and selected Savage Worlds: Evernight as a setting/campaign. It means a return to fantasy for me, but I'm mostly eager to try Savage Worlds' pulpy goodness. We're all about discussing character concepts right now. More to come.

Hyperion to a Satyr entries this week include:
I.ii. Enter Hamlet - Tennant (2009)
I.ii. Ghost Stories - Tennant (2009)

Star Trek 1283: Embrace the Wolf

1283. Embrace the Wolf

PUBLICATION: Star Trek: The Next Generation - Embrace the Wolf, Wildstorm Comics, May 2000

CREATORS: Christopher Golden and Tom Sniegoski (writers), Dave Hoover, Troy Hubbs, and Jason Martin (artists)

STARDATE: 47319.2 (between Force of Nature and Parallels)

PLOT: The Enterprise-D arrives at Enoch-7 just as Redjac causes an atomic apocalypse there. As the crew help the survivors, Redjac finds its way to the ship and takes it over, causing fear in various ways. He eventually goes to the holodeck where he recreates Victorian London and tries to see if he can make an android feel fear by beaming various crew members there and attacking them. Meanwhile, the Enochians have decided they can't allow Redjac to go free, so they attack the Enterprise. Before things get out of control, Geordi builds a containment unit to capture Redjac. Thanks to being distracted in the holodeck, Geordi successfully does so and the Enochians volunteer to keep an eye on the unit.

CONTINUITY: Redjac plagued Kirk's Enterprise in Wolf in the Fold and returned in DC's first Star Trek series #23-24 (at Enoch IV, which must be a stone's throw from Enoch-7). Redjac likes to hide in Data's Sherlock Holmes program (Elementary, Dear Data). In the simulation, Picard is made to wear his Hornblower uniform from Generations.

DIVERGENCES: The events of Star Trek #23-24 are not referred to, which makes the planet name seem coincidental. I've never really seen Worf go into an animalistic warrior's rage before.

PANEL OF THE DAY - Hee hee hee... space puke!
REVIEW: While Dave Hoover's designs are certainly interesting, the inking doesn't quite do them justice. Too soft and scratchy. And as for the writing, it leaves me equally unsatisfied. On the surface, the plot is fine, featuring a shocking beginning, a returning TOS enemy, and plenty of action and mystery solving. However, it's the characterization that doesn't work. The characters are either complete ciphers or obviously not acting and speaking like themselves. Worf goes mad with rage and attacks Picard and anyone else that moves. Riker spouts a lot of anthropological data. Redjac forgets he has the power to jump from person to person and stays inside the ship systems. It's all competent, mind you, but it doesn't quite rise above that.

What If... the Avengers Had Become Pawns of Korvac?

People sometime joke that What If stories too often turn into "Everyone dies". What If? #32 is the prototypical and most extreme version of that idea. Writer: Mark Gruenwald. Artist: Greg LaRocque. How would THEY have collapsed the entire Marvel line if they had been asked to?

What If Vol.1 #32 (April 1982)
Based on: Avengers #167-177
The true history: Korvac, a power siphon from the future, lands in 20th century Earth and wants to bring order to the universe with his ever-growing power. The Collector sends his daughter Carina to spy on him, but she falls in love with him. He kills/absorbs the Collector and then many of the Avengers, until the mightiest of them bring on the beat down. At his weakest moment, he looks to Carina for support, but sees hesitation in her eyes and falters. His last act before expiring is to resurrect the Avengers he killed.
Turning point: What if Carina stood by her man absolutely?
Story type: Everyone Dies
Watcher's mood: Michael Ironside
Altered history: In this universe, Carina's love gives Korvac an extra boost he uses to destroy all the Avengers. The man is needy, but if he gets what he needs, there ain't no stopping him.
His first move towards a more orderly universe is to seal it off from the so-called Gods. A good idea since Odin and Zeus both want payback for Thor and Hercules' deaths. He also banishes the most powerful non-Avengers, like Dr. Strange, Phoenix and the Silver Surfer. Second move: Recreate some of the Avengers as subservient puppets and make them do his dirty work, like killing the Watcher. Well, not the Watcher telling the story. The Watcher of that universe. So the Watcher who's maybe watching the regular universe and going "What if Spider-Man sold his soul to the devil for no reason?" Anyway, THAT Watcher sees what's coming and escapes. But he can't convince the other Watchers to break the Prime Directive.
So instead he assembles the Cosmic Avengers (for want of a better name), composed of the universe's most powerful entities.
That's a lot of firepower for one foam party. Unfortunately, they take a page from the old Justice Society of America and only tackle Korvac in pairs. What's he been up to? Oh, just eating the High Evolutionary. The Grandmaster and the Shaper of Worlds visit him, and the GM wants to set the rules of the game. And Korvac?
Korvac does not play games. The Shaper makes a good move and flips over to his side. Meanwhile, Galactus and the Gardener (yes, the Gardener) are attacked by the Puppet Avengers, which doesn't go well for the latter.
Captain America grabs the Ultimate Nullifier and destroys both himself and Galactus with it, while the Gardener is harvested by Korvac. At the same time, Korvac's been reordering the universe in some way because Lord Chaos keeps dwindling and Lord Order keeps growing. Time to send the next Divine Duo: The Stranger and the In-Betweener. IB is going to kidnap Carina while the Stranger distracts Korvac by slinging the moon at his head.
Both get killed (with some thanks to the Shaper) and the Earth gets a nice asteroid ring around it. The Living Tribunal makes the sun go nova, but Korvac protects Earth. LivTrib leaves the universe to go judge American Idol instead. Not a huge improvement, but there it is. Next, all the space-faring races in the universe warp to Earth to stop Korvac. He has to siphon the power of the Shaper, the Celestials, the Avengers, all of humanity and the entire biosphere (as well as the willing Carina) to meet them head on.
That's the Ultimate Nullifier in his hand, and the Watcher can't dissuade him from using it. Well guess what.
Death wins and Eternity is destroyed. The Watcher gets one less universe to watch, so it's not all bad. Silver linings.
Books canceled as a result: All of them. Even its What If? is canceled.
These things happen: Though he returned a couple times, he never really made that kind of dent in continuity ever again. He ultimately gets fragged by a Cosmic Cube.

Next week: What if Dazzler Had Become the Herald of Galactus?
My guess: Galactus - the disco opera!

Star Trek 1282: Enterprises of Great Pitch and Moment

1282. Enterprises of Great Pitch and Moment

PUBLICATION: Star Trek: The Next Generation - Perchance to Dream #4, Wildstorm Comics, May 2000

CREATORS: Keith R.A. DeCandido (writer), Peter Pachoumis and Lucian Rizzo (artists)

STARDATE: Unknown (follows the last issue)

PLOT: Picard is placed into a trance and his various personalities (Kamin, Sarek and Locutus) are brought to the surface in order to produce a cure for the telepathic weapon taking down the crew. Even Data has succumbed and he's reliving a dream in which he destroys the Enterprise. Picard's mind does produce the cure, which is then passed on by telepaths, saving the ship from Data at the last minute. However, Picard must work with his good personalities to repress Locutus who has taken over and is willing to stop Picard's biological functions if he is not given control of the ship. Down on the planet, Damiano authorities have arrested the moralist terrorists, and given medals to the crew of the Enterprise.

CONTINUITY: See previous issues (Picard's split personalities, Ogawa, Selar, Lt. McDowell, Data's dream program). Reg Barclay appears. The characters brought forth in Picard's mindscape include Amanda Grayson reporting Spock's death (The Wrath of Khan), Kamin's daughter (The Inner Light), his own disappointed father (Family) and Gul Madred (Chain of Command). Picard plays his Ressikan flute (The Inner Light, Lessons).

DIVERGENCES: Worf apparently made Data's off switch (Datalore) common knowledge for security officers. A wise precaution, but a terrible betrayal.

PANEL OF THE DAY - Data wasn't one for massages.
REVIEW: I'm glad to see Data's dream finally figure into the story, though it's a leap to think a telepathic weapon could work on him when telepathy itself doesn't. And again, the comic is hampered by stiff, rushed art (and it had such a strong cover too) and just a little too much exposition. DeCandido is treating it like the novels he'll later write and doesn't allow the pictures to tell their part of the story. Perchance to Dream, in the end, is merely ok as a TNG mini-series. It uses a lot of continuity, but fails to add all that much to the world of Star Trek. Except maybe some of the longest titles ever.

Movie Marquee Friday: Good for the Grinder

Simplicity: The old logos are often still the best...
The dizzying mathematics of the industrious bee...

Going from rags to riches at the speed of a freight train...

Retro, retro, retro...

The terror is in the exploitation...

Get used to this weather...

Troubled water...