Showing posts with label Masters of the Universe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Masters of the Universe. Show all posts

Sunday, February 12, 2012

This Week in Geek (6-12/02/12)

Gifts

I love it when the Kung Fu Friday crowd comes bearing gifts, so my thanks to Fred "The Dragon" for a set of three sonic screwdrivers with interchangeable parts. Good props for future Doctor Who RPG games? A well placed 5$ at the Value Village either way!

"Accomplishments"

DVDs: Caprica likely never had a chance. On the one hand, many Battlestar Galactica fans gave up on it quite soon for not being BSG. On the other, SyFy's schedule treated it abominably, with huge broadcast lulls that made it impossible for the show to gain momentum. Personally, I like it. The Battlestar prequel lives in the same morally ambiguous gray zone, even if it can't possibly be as tense or sci-fi intensive as BSG. That was asking too much of it, at least initially. Season 1.0, as the DVD calls it, is more of a set-up for future tension, and while I question the wisdom of Matrix-like elements of the V-world, I do realize it was part of the Cylon stuff in BSG. Eric Stoltz as the creator of the Caprican Cylons is a better actor than I ever gave him credit for, Polly Walker as a monotheist terrorist is unsurprisingly excellent, and for a non-Cylon connection, there's Bill Adama's father and his travails with the Tauron mob. There are many parts to this beast, and if it comes off as "Dallas meets the Godfather in Space", well, that's not a bad place to be. The DVD is built on the BSG mold, with a mix of podcasts and more professional commentary tracks on most episodes, various deleted scenes, and making of material both from the web and new to the DVD.

And the same is true of the Caprical Season 1.5 DVD, though the podcasts do dry up towards the end. The final commentary track still talks about a possible Season 2 that failed to materialize, and here I thought they knew from the "5 year jump" epilogue that seemed to tell us what happened next. From what I can understand, the epilogue was meant to jump the timeline ahead so that Season 2 would have a very different story (Zoe passing off as human in the military, among other things). But alas. If people gave up on Caprica early in Season 1 because it wasn't as intense as BSG, it was too late for them to get exactly that kind of intensity in 1.5. The production team obviously evolved the show during their hiatus to include more SF and action elements, pushing towards a ticking clock finale focusing on an impending terrorist attack. Never very easy to describe what this show is about, because it follows a number of story strands, but it didn't let me down. Bring on Bill Adama's adventures as a young man! Sounds like it'll have more traction with the typical BSG fan.

If you've been reading the blog for the past couple weeks, then you know I watched The Masters of the Universe live action movie. In the final analysis, it was much better than I thought it would be when it turned up in last year's Oscar Pool pile, and I don't regret having won it one bit. The DVD included one feature of note and that's a commentary track by director Gary Goddard recorded in 2009. He sometimes dries up in the second half, but not a lot, enlightening listeners on the compromises he had to make to bring the film in on budget (but not on time, he finished it with his own money a few months after it officially wrapped), what his vision was and what he thinks of the team assembled both in front and behind the camera. A good value, especially since the movie is likely to be found only in bargain bins.

Jackie Chan's recent film, Little Big Soldier, was this week's Kung Fu Friday selection, a pleasant mixture of Chinese historical war epic and tragi-comedy that sees Jackie as a clownish soldier trying to bring in his captive, a princely general (Leehom Wang). It's a buddy picture, so they'll become friends after a sort, and there's plenty of action even if Jackie keeps his stunts in the "bumbling, accidental hero" mode. It's also a rather emotional performance from him, as his character reflects on war and the importance of putting down roots, with proper lyrical direction to give it more resonance. My only misgiving is a tonal problem with the ending. It's not that it's more tragic than what we're used to in a Jackie Chan film, it's that it is undercut by the inevitable montage of bloopers that end every Jackie film (and without subtitles too, jeer!). The DVD includes a 15-minute making of, roughly put together from internet spots, and a music video (a nice song that's an integral part of the film).

Audios: The 8th Doctor/Lucie Miller third season ends with Worldwide Web, in which Eddie Robson ends the story he bagan in The Eight Truths. With the villains revealed and in control of Lucie, I was afraid Sheridan Smith wouldn't be able to give a performance AS Lucie. They got around that neatly by having a space inside her head (kinda) where she could interact with her possessor. The story feels very New Who, playing out on on a huge stage, and with both stars doing their very best both with the drama and comedy to make this what I think is the best finale in the 8th/Lucie series so far. And hopefully, that's the Headhunter's arc finally over and done with. I was never a huge fan of the character.

The 7th Doctor, Ace & Hex audio The Magic Mousetrap by Matthew Sweet is a surreal, witty, literate piece that brings back a foe from the Hartnell days in perhaps his best story ever (the bar wasn't high, mind you). The tale begins with an amnesiac Doctor being admitted to an asylum filled with entertaining loonies of all stripes who spend their days playing games so as not to remember the TARDIS and things. It's all rather good and eccentric, not unlike Sweet's previous effort, The Year of the Pig (which I nominated as one of my 5 favorite CDs experienced in 2011). Its one flaw is that it sidelines Ace and Hex for too much of the story.

Hyperion to a Satyr posts this week:
III.ii. Instructing the Players - Classics Illustrated

Friday, February 10, 2012

HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA What's Going On?

The final part of my "live blogging" exercise about The Masters of the Universe live action film, 15 minutes to go!

You know when I compared the movie to Jack Kirby's New Gods? Well, a giant helmet makes Skeletor develop Omega Beams. COINCIDENCE?!Not that Darkseid wore a giant helmet, though I bet he had a huge collection for special events. Only two sidekicks, a dwarf and two teens can help He-Man now! Kevin! Play some of that glam-rockin' music!
Lubic jumps in to arrest the lot just as Kevin's concerto ends, and he gets sucked into a Boom Tube with the rest of 'em.
They interrupt Skeletor's philosophical ruminations about alignment: "Is the loneliness of good equal to the loneliness of evil?" (Answer, Lawful is never as lonely as Chaotic, dude.) The heroes are back at the Grayskull location, and they've brought that silly Earth set with them.
And man, foul-mouthed Lubic can's stop pushing the movie to PG. He-Man's friends get shot at so the slave deal is OFF. He-Man angles his manacles so that Skeletor's magic missile frees him!
And that chain makes a handy weapon too! Back at the half-car, Lubic's finally getting it that this is real, but as he can't help but talk about himself in the third person, I'll have to evaluate his state of mind as "unhinged". Still, can't fault his shotgun skills. Skeletor's forces are having a hard time with He-Man too, and their boss-man isn't giving them any help when he specifies he needs him alive. Pinned down, He-Man starts pushing statues down. Roll Intimidation at +2.
The distraction is enough to get He-Man to where his sword's been put in a stone. Through the pain of Skeletor's voltage strikes, he pulls it out and at least PART of the cartoon introduction is reproduced for the big screen. "I HAVE THE POWER!!!"
(Still no "By the power of Grayskull" though. Or a choir chanting "He-Man! He-Man! He-Man!" And those are the best parts, sigh.) Alright, throw the discotheque lights and let's throw down for OUR FINAL BATTLE!!!
The fight drains Skeletor of power and helmets, but he doesn't give up easily. Just when you think it's over, he pulls a sword from his evil shorts and glances He-Man's right into a position that gives me a bad flashback to The Phantom Menace (and thus, a headache).
Predictably, He-Man saves his sharp-edged friend, and Skeletor goes the way of every movie villain from 1985 to 1995 - he goes off the edge.
NOW you regret building Grayskull on top of a giant shaft to Hell, don't you?

The Sorceress is healed. The sidekicks start shouting victory. He-Man turns to see what all the noise is ("Oh, that's right, you guys exist. Yeah, victory.") Lubic retires to Eternia where he's already found a sailor's costume and a girlfriend...
Courteney Cox does what she does best, and that's choke back the tears and make you all weepy (SHUT UP) even though she knew these people for all of five minutes before she was knocked out by Skeletor's poison. Gwildor pulls a Doctor Who on her and Kevin by saying "Did I mention it travels in time?" but they don't take the Rose-bait and choose to go home to the present, 1987. Boy, remember when that WAS the present? I still have nightmares about the white pants I used to wear after Labor Day. Good journey, kids!

Oh crap! Julie was too late to realize she could go back in time to save her parents! But then the Boom Tube acts like it never has before and she wakes up in bed BEFORE her parents' plane accident. Was it all a dream? And more importantly, will Julie and Kevin overcome their apparent lack of chemistry and stay together now that she doesn't have to leave this parentless crap-town?
By George, they might just make it. One last, gratuitous, blue-screened I HAVE THE POWER and we're into the end credits. It's finally ov---
Oh Lord, he'll be back!

And that's awesome because Langella's Skeletor was da bomb. You think his contract to come back for a sequel is still valid? That was certainly a wild and better than expected ride! Cons: He-Dolph, teen angst and the color schemes. Pros: Effects, Kirbyisms and badass Skeletor. But it's over, no regrets, let's celebrate!

See you Sunday for my capsule review of the DVD extras (because, oh yes!).

Thursday, February 9, 2012

...the Day I Held Aloft my Magic Sword

Part 6 of my "live blogging" exercise about The Masters of the Universe live action film, 15 minutes at a time. Only a half hour to go!

Skeletor just delivered his ultimatum. "He-Man, throw down your sword." "But what am I use to compensate for my 'roid-shrunken Pee-Man?"Skeletor is the freakin' man. I love how he rolls his eyes at He-Man's nobility when he saves his friends by surrendering. He can't believe his cheesiness. Blade is STOKED by his boss's BAWSSNESS:
Skeletor honors his deal - to make sure he always has a hold on He-Man - and leaves the other goodies to rot on tacky ol' Earth. And Gwildor's lost Eternia's coordinates. And Eternia is the only place Julie can get treatment for a Skelezap!
I'm not a doctor, but that MIGHT be infected. Tom Paris swoons. So... Exit army, back to Eternia. Enter Lubic and his back-up, the whole police force, looking for an army to fight. Timing. It's all about timing.
Gwildor explains that 1) it's pronounced Skeleter and 2) the Cosmic Key's memory's been wiped of the melody it plays to open a Boom Tube to Eternia. But wait! Kevin plays in an 80s high school glam rock band! He might be able to play the tune back! It takes a pep talk and Teela and Man-at-Arms cannibalizing their uniforms for random [TECHNO-BABBLE] elements, but Kevin might just be able to save the universe! (Well, Julie and He-Man, at any rate.)

Meanwhile, on Eternia... Skeletor sees He-Man bare-chested and oiled-up and declares: "I win."
The Sorceress quietly judges him.
She's wasting away, and Skeletor is about to have ALL the Power of Grayskull. He slips He-Man's sword into a high-tech device, like Excalibur into a hot butter stone, chains He-Man to the floor and forces him to kneel before him in front of all Eternia. He doesn't want to? Taste of the Ferengi lash, Blades.
Oooh, that's gonna sting. And if Gwildor, Kevin and the rest can't fix their Boom Tube quickly enough, Skeletor will declare himself Master... of... the Universe!
Now THOSE are the colord I remember from my action figures! Skeletor is really enjoying himself now... and in all sorts of ways. Has he really become... a god? A Kirby god?
The hat seems to say yes.

Ok Kevin, it's about time your band played its set, because the universe is in trouble. Skeletor has climaxed, now the story needs to. In 24 short hours!*

*Hours to be the same length they usually are.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Fabulous Secret Powers Were Revealed to Me...

Part 5 of my "live blogging" exercise about The Masters of the Universe live action film from where we left off Friday after the first hour.

So let's see... oh yeah, attack on the music store, guitars flying, Man-at-Arms throwing grenades, Detective Lubic asking all the wrong questions, and Teela giving Kevin a gun before throwing herself into the fray. She rocks. She's "Woman-at-Arms".Aww, 80s girl power! In the back room, Lubic is all "gimme the gun kid", asking like he wants a fix of heroin, but neither Kevin nor Julie are giving anything up. Then Julie sees something in the alley behind the shop. It's her dead mom going "Shhhhh!"
While her boyfriend struggles with Lubic for the gun, she goes out to talk to her mom. Do you smell a sorceress trap? Because this is classic evil sorceress stuff. Hugs? "We've been doing secret work and had to disappear"? A sensible sweater? None of that rings true Julie! Especially not the part about their secret work needing the Cosmic Key! Come on! Don't give it to her!
Awww damn, girl! Now look what you've done. No, really LOOK.
Yeah, feels pretty bad, doesn't it?

The heroes run off after Evil-Lyn's forces as Charlie is forces to look at his destroyed store, handing over his shotgun to Detective "Gimme the gun, gimme the gun, GIMME THE GUN" Lubic.
Within seconds, Lubic almost gets his fool head shot off and THAT'S why he never got an action figure of his own. Truth!
I guess having a car explode that close to you warrants the first use of a curse word in the movie. "Listen Mom! He-Man learned a new word today!"

Evil-Lyn sends a signal to Skeletor and they create the mother of all Boom Tubes to let all the Para-Demons on Earth.
Some of them even have aero-discs!
And of course, there's Skeletor on his open shell death barge!
The Air Centurians [sic] go after He-Man, who blows one of them up outright! It's a risk when your armor is full of back-up fuel for your energy-inefficient flying platform. He commandeers the other one for his own use and makes a run at Evil-Lyn.
Even grapples her Cosmic Key away, yee-haw! While another Centurian tries to draw him to Skeletor, the lich-king has found his own entertainment, rising from behind the other heroes (and, uhm, Kevin and Julie)...
He has no trouble taking Man-at-Arms and Teela's fire with his groovy forcefield, and as the Darth Vader army closes in, the good guys disarm. Knowing Man-at-Arms, it probably takes a while. Actually, it takes so long, he doesn't have time to drop the sword on his back before they're rushed.

As He-Man arrives, Julie gets in the crossfire to let him know it's a trap, and gets a good, pink, lightning zap for her trouble, while He-Man still takes a dive! He goes a little crazy and starts cutting soldiers up.
Though he can clearly beat the whole lot of them single-handedly, Skeletor still gives him an ultimatum: To return to Eternia as his slave, or else die with his friends here, on this primitive and tasteless planet. TASTELESS? Dude, a mirror, please. (Then again, it WAS the 80s.)

I don't know how expects to back up that threat, but I guess we'll find out... tomorrow! Same He-Time, same He-Channel!

Friday, February 3, 2012

I Became He-Man, the Most Powerful Man in the Universe!

Part 4 of my "live blogging" of The Masters of the Universe live action film from where we left off yesterday at 0:45:30. Still with me?

So Detective Lubic escorts Kevin to Julie's house where he hopes to find his key suspect in a certain teenage arson case. Julie's not there, of course, but only half her stuff looks packed and she's still got food in the fridge. This, mere hours before she leaves for the East Coast. Disorganized much? Lubic lets his hair down and starts playing the Cosmic Synth.This can't possibly end well. Unless Skeletor's mercs are lame, of course. But they won't be, not after they fill up on pizza:
WRONG WAY! Oh well. They can eat after.

So Evil-Lyn has this groovy scanner that sees into the past, and there's He-Man alright, but where are the "other forces" Karg and them blamed their defeat on?
Evil-Lyn's dry remark about the native girl who apparently tipped the scales against the mercs shows why she's the perfect girlfriend for Skeletor. Power Emasculation Action!

Meanwhile, comedy faces from Lubic and Kevin puts a bucket of ribs in the microwave, creating interference for Evil-Lyn's troops tracking the Cosmic Key, like nothing they've seen before. DESTROY IT!
What a waste of perfectly good ribs. And Lubic finds out just how easy it is to commit arson. So it's off to the station with the Cosmic Key, cuz Lubic isn't kidding around. Arson, vandalism, exploding microwaves and possibly stolen thingamagiggers? He's building a case!

He's also attracting the attention of mercenaries from another world, but that comes with the badge. But slow to track, as usual, they make a pitstop at Julie's. Kevin TRIES to wave them off with repeated "get outta here"s, but I'm not sure Beastman even understands English.
But Evil-Lyn doesn't let him get killed and instead puts a collar on him that makes him answer all questions.
Would you cheat on Julie with Evil-Lyn? That's not one of the questions. He only reveals a policeman took the Key. I'm not sure he would have kept it a secret. Whatever. Before they leave, the mercs ransack the place, unpack all of Julie's things, and steal some of her scrapbooking before flying off.
And only THEN does Gwildor's "land boat" show up with the heroes. They take the collar off Kevin and he FREAKS OUT. Petite little Julie has to shake him straight. And of course, you can always count on Gwildor to inspire trust.
Oh the mirth! There are many scenes in this film that lead me to believe that "comedy" isn't all that evolved on Eternia. Anyway, maybe the heroes can head Evil-Lyn's sky barge at the pass before it reaches Lubic. But maybe not considering the hyper-slow speed the neutrino-powered car is consistently doing. I mean, really. Why put a big, red impulse engine on the back of it if it'll only do 30 in a 45 zone? Maybe it's going so slow because some of Gwildor's modifications are dragging under it?
They catch up with Lubic at the music store where - 80s ALERT! - the cop is ready to blame the Russians for all this. He pulls a gun on He-Man. Teela takes it from him. And all of a sudden we've got a hostage situation. Can Gwildor set the Boom Tube for Eternia before Evil-Lyn's forces attack? Is this really a good time for Kevin to try to learn about the "music of the universe" and just what Gwildor is doing? Are a pile of screws and bolts on the top of an amp really an accurate model of the universe for calculating galactic coordinates? Is distance calculated in metrons as a tribute to Kirby's Fourth World? How is Charlie reminded of Invasion of the Body Snatchers by this situation? And more importantly, will Lubic and Charlie bond?
The answer to all of these is: WHO CARES LETS JUST BLOW THE HELL OUT OF THIS TACKY MUSIC STORE!!!
And that's exactly where the first hour ends. And if this were a stage musical (and the big question is, WHY ISN'T IT?), there'd be an intermission about now.

Let's make like it is, and I'll see you midweek next week for the continuing adventures of the Masters... of... the Universe! (Let's all go to the lobby...)