Reign of the Supermen #109: Atticus Kent

Source: Superman: A Nation Divided GN (1999)
Type: ElseworldsIf Superman had lived through the American Civil War, would he have changed the course of history? Well, let's see what this guy could do for the North. How about... throwing cannonballs bare-handed?
Making the Rebs' guns too hot to handle?
How about punching cannonballs out of the air?
Or force General Lee to surrender by dangling him from a height?
Or even... taking a bullet for President Lincoln?
Well YEAH, there are bound to be some changes to the timeline.

What happened after that? Well, hard to say. A sequel is hinted at though, with Atticus morphing his Kryptonian capsule into a literally silver horse and going cowboy.
I bet the West was tamed in about half a weekend.

What If... Wolverine Battled Conan the Barbarian?

Or more properly "What if Wolverine had lived during the age of Conan the barbarian?", which doesn't obligate them to fight each other. Of course, they WILL. This IS a Marvel comic after all. And a 90s Marvel comic at that. Ergo, Wolverine headlines.

What If vol.2 #16 (August 1990)
Based on: Uncanny X-Men #137
The true history: The Shi'ar are putting the X-Men on trial (they really are the galaxy's D.A.s, aren't they?) on the Moon for suffering Phoenix to live. While Phoenix goes Dark during their battle with the Imperial Guard, Wolverine gets lost in the Watcher's moonbase, gaining access to various "realities". The Watcher throws him out of there, putting him right where he can throw Colossus (Reverse Fastball Special!) at Phoenix, knocking Jean Gray back into alignment long enough for her to commit suicide.
Turning point: What if the Watcher had not kicked Wolverine out of his place?
Story type: Conan Crossover
Watcher's mood: Asymmetrically simian
Altered history: Uatu, realizing his base is full of Space Lawyers, chooses to follow the Watchers' non-intervention code to the letter, allows Wolverine to get lost among the various realities, landing the short-statured mutant in the ancient days of Conan. He's quick to adapt despite not knowing the language. Well, by adapt I mean steal clothes. He doesn't meet Conan right away though. He first comes across Red Sonja, though he first thinks she's Jean Gray.
I guess this proves all redheads in comics look exactly the same. It keeps Mary Jane Watson in the superhero movie business, anyway. Sonja is a sucker for anyone who can beat her, so they hit it off. Their first date is going well until Conan makes an appearance. They fight for the girl.
That's gotta hurt. Conan breaking a sword on your hide? Oh yeah, for sure. Conan leaves Logan for dead, but that night, the mutant rises, healed but for his mind which has regressed to savagery. He hunts down Conan who is in the middle of a negotiation for Sonja's soul with a dual-class magic-user/cleric and his pet demon. Wolverine's interference makes him open a portal back to standard continuity.
But in the ensuing demon-fighting, crap happens and Conan falls through the portal instead, and after Wolverine chops the spellcaster's head off, the whole dang temple falls on their heads. From then on, Logan takes Conan's place at Sonja's side and in the Hyborian legends.
But what of Conan and the X-Men? Well, the Cimmerian pops out on the Moon and fights the assembled aliens and mutants there. When he sees him attacking Sonja's lookalike, he knocks Cyclops out. And when Cyclops' psychic link to Phoenix is broken, and without Wolverine present to improbably pitch Colossus at Jean, she goes Dark for good and the Phoenix Force consumes the Earth. Yay!
Books canceled as a result: It's an Everybody Dies story disguised as a Conan Crossover! All of them except Wolverine books that replace Conan's. Marvel's output is reduced to Logan the Barbarian, King Wolverine, and the magazine-sized Savage Claws of Logan.
These things happen: The reverse happened when the Hyborian Age came to modern day New York, transforming it into a sword & sorcery version of itself. Though the X-Men fought the wizard Kulan Gath, they never met his archenemy Conan in that adventure (Uncanny X-Men #188-191).

Next week: What if Kraven the Hunter Had Killed Spider-Man?
My guess: Taxidermy gone wrong.

Reign of the Supermen #108: Dan Hipp's Superman

Source: Project: Rooftop (2010)
Type: RedesignFollow the link above to see professional comics artist Dan Hipp (Amazing Joy Buzzards, Gyakushu!)'s Justice League redesigns. How do you like his Superman?

Personally, I like his indie style and the image has a fun dynamic. Beyond that, it's not the cleanest look for Superman, but could do well for a low-powered, gritty Elseworlds project. (His Wonder Woman is particularly cool.)

Reign of the Supermen #107: Wundarr the Aquarian

Source: (1st) Adventure into Fear #17 (1973)
Type: AnalogThe second of Marvel's Superman analogs is Wundarr the Aquarian. Though he's never worn a classic superhero costume with cape and shield, nor even has Superman's powers, but it's not hard to figure out what writer Steve Gerber was up to when you look at his origin story (straight out of Wiki):

"On a distant planet called Dakkam [Daxam?], a scientist named Hektu comes to believe that the sun going nova would destroy his world [the danger to Krypton came from within, but it was just as distant and just as doomed]. In a last effort to save his family, he and his wife, Soja, have an infant son named Wundarr [Wundarr... Wonder... not far from Super], whom they plan to save from their world's destruction [a reference to Moses? NO! To Kal-El]. They place him aboard a ship that is able to maintain his life support as long as necessary [and not a second more!], and then launch him into outer space. Hektu and Soja later make flight and are captured and executed by the Internal Security Force to prevent them from alarming the populace [not as stoically brave as Jor-El and Lara, then]. It is later found out that Hektu's apocalyptic prediction is incorrect, and that he sent his son away for nothing [TWIST!!! Oh delicious irony!!!]

"In July, 1951, Wundarr's ship is caught by Earth's gravitational pull, and passes through a layer of cosmic rays [the Fantastic Four connection] before entering Earth's atmosphere and crashing in a Florida swamp [not quite Kansas, but a case could be made for it rurality]. An elderly couple known only as Maw and Paw [COME ON!!!!] observe the crash from their car. Paw considers checking out the crash site, but Maw insists that it might contain Martians or Communists and demands that he ignore it [a second twist!]; thus, Wundarr remains in his ship for a number of years, growing to physical maturity, though retaining the mind of a child [just about the worst idea ever... I've read (and reviewed) a number of Marvel Two-in-Ones in which Wundarr features as the Thing's sidekick, and the fact he's a moron is annoying in the highest degree]. Twenty years later, Wundarr is released, and the first creature he sees is Man-Thing, which he is convinced is his mother. He learns very quickly of his amazing strength and bests Man-Thing in battle. Man-Thing's continued attempts to be left alone result in Wundarr eventually deciding that Man-Thing is not his mother [SEE WHAT I MEAN?].

"With his great leaping ability [not unlike the Golden Age Superman's], he eventually reaches Hydro-Base, [...] Wundarr's leaps bring him down in New York City, where he encounters Ben Grimm walking home from a screening of Five Fingers of Death [AKA King Boxer WOO-HOO!]. [...]" And then it gets away from the Superman legend.

Well, unless you count his transformation into the Aquarian, a Jesus stand-in (see beard above) not unlike Superman's characterization in Superman Returns. But we don't like to talk about that...

Kung Fu Fridays in February

In December and January, what with the holidays and all, I always allow myself a few lesser (or riskier) films. Fewer people tend to come, so 'tis the season to watch a crappy DVD transfer or an unproven gift from a well-meaning friend. So this February, it's a return to assured quality. I hope!

Ashes of Time Redux - I haven't run a single Wong Kar-Wai film on Kung Fu Fridays 1) because they're rarely in a "KFF" style and 2) because I've been jealously keeping his beautiful art films to myself. With the historical epic Ashes of Time, I'm about to open that can of worms.

Robin B Hood - A little Jackie Chan goes a long way and this first of three Dragon Dynasty releases should be fun. It's Three Men and a Baby in Hong Kong and minus 2 men... apparently.

Disciples of the 36th Chamber - The third film in the action-comedy series starring not only My Man Gordon Liu, but the mentally damaged Crippled Avenger Chia-Hui as well! (I can't believe I actually wrote that.) I'm always up for Lau Kar Leung choreography in any case.

Fatal Contact - Finally giving a Jacky Wu Jing a hero's role in a film, Fatal Contact looks like a high octane look at underground fighting, and scores a featured role for Wu Jing on one of my posters!

So if you're a friend of mine slumming it every Friday, or just looking at what's going to be reviewed on This Week in Geek in February, that's the deal!. Ka-yaa!

Task Force X Retirement Files 004-007

More documents liberated under the Freedom of Information Act...
Files 001-003

Subject: ChronosProfile: Classic Atom villain
Powers: Time-based gimmicks and gadgets.
Mission: To supply a time-stopping device to help the Squad reveal white supremacist "hero" William Hell as a villain and discredit him.
Chance of survival going in: High. It's not that DC wouldn't think of taking out the Atom's greatest villain (as far rogues' galleries go, the Atom's is pretty terrible), but since Chronos was only supplying a device and not participating in the operation on site, there was never in harm's way.
Retirement: RELEASED. (Suicide Squad #4)
Final report: Chronos would go on to become a more important part of the DCU thanks to the Atom's return from his Savage vacation. He has since built up his criminal record again.

Subject: Multiplex
Profile: Classic Firestorm villain
Powers: Human fission.
Mission: To bring in Firestorm (alive) after the hero became an outlaw, threatening the world's nuclear powers if they didn't disarm.
Chance of survival going in: Good. As Firestorm's first villain, and thematically linked to him (fission to Firestorm's fusion), there wasn't much chance of John Ostrander doing away with him.
Retirement: RELEASED. The Parasite gets him, but he apparently survives the encounter. (Firestorm Annual #5)
Final report: Multiplex would one day work with the Squad again, this time on a more permanent basis.

Subject: Killer Frost II
Profile: Hot Firestorm villain
Powers: Creating intense cold by absorbing surrounding heat.
Mission: To bring in Firestorm (alive) after the hero became an outlaw, threatening the world's nuclear powers if they didn't disarm.
Chance of survival going in: High. Not only did Killer Frost tangle with Firestorm on multiple occasions, but every hero needs a sexy villainous with a deadly kiss. Just ask Batman. Her personal ties to Martin Stein meant she was unlikely to cop it outside of a story specifically about this.
Retirement: RELEASED. Though also a victim of the Parasite, she apparently walked away from that fight. (Firestorm Annual #5)
Final report: Killer Frost is still at large, most recently seen as a member of Libra's Secret Society of Super Villains and as a participant in a metahuman fighting tournament taken down by Wonder Woman and Black Canary.

Subject: Parasite
Profile: Classic Superman villain
Powers: Draining energy and powers to temporarily increase own power.
Mission: To bring in Firestorm (alive) after the hero became an outlaw, threatening the world's nuclear powers if they didn't disarm.
Chance of survival going in: High. As one of few Superman villains who can match him physically, it's unlikely he was Ostrander's to kill. In fact, as soon as he's released (over Flag's and Waller's objections), he becomes the real threat, and the Squad is repurposed to stop him.
Retirement: ESCAPED/RECAPTURED. Firestorm eventually stops him and he is presumably taken back into custody. (Firestorm Annual #5)
Final report: Parasite has been in and out of jail many times since then, a dangerous villain that is difficult to keep behind bars. He is currently at large.

Reign of the Supermen #106: Super Powers Superman

Source: Kenner's Super Powers Collection, Series One (1984)
Type: ToyOh how I love the Super Powers action figures line! Sad thing is, I didn't gobble them all up at the time and consequently don't have this sweet sweet Superman! Removable cape! Squeeze his legs and he throws a punch! (I still have Aquaman, Green Lantern, Darkseid, Dr. Fate, Hawkman and Brainiac, plus crap I picked up in yard sales like Desaad and an off-model Parademon. And I still play around with them.)

Now, there are some handsome action figures coming out these days (mostly from DC Direct), but gosh, the Super Powers guys were FUN. I still prefer their cloth capes to the semi-rigid rubber used on many figures today, and the idea that you could make them punch, swim, run, fly, cast a spell, etc. with a quick squeeze made them the top superhero figure of the 80s, and still relevant today. Some of them even had extra gimmicks, like Darkseid's Omega Beams, produced when you shone a light on the top of his head.

If I were made of money or had a time machine... But the latter hasn't been invented yet, and as for the former, a look at eBay shows loose figures starting at around 10$, and carded ones often hitting and passing 60$. Never mind the vehicles! Look at this sweet bunch:
And way too many holes in my collection to ever make it affordable. But I can dream...