391. Let He Who Is Without Sin...FORMULA: Captain's Holiday + ParadiseWHY WE LIKE IT: Insight into Worf's character. Sexy costumes.WHY WE DON'T: Everything else.REVIEW: We have much to discuss. This episode sees yet another group of conservative Federation citizens express displeasure with Federation policy. Isn't anyone happy with paradise anymore? The Essentialists are way less interesting than the Maquis (or even Alexis' survivalists) too. There's just no way they're going to convince anyone with insulting rhetoric and acts tantamount to terrorism. Indeed, it damages Worf's character that he side with them for any length of time. Ridiculously, when he finally turns on them, Fullerton backhands him one. Like that would ever happen.Theoretically though, we're supposed to be on Risa to advance Worf and Dax's romance. It's already rocky because while opposites do attract, they don't necessarily make for harmonious co-existence. Unfortunately, Worf is about as exasperating to us as he is to Dax. Uncharacteristically, Michael Dorn seems to be sleepwalking through most scenes, with his romantic compliments and the way he throws his horga'hn particularly ineffective. He does get one good moment when he explains why he's so contained compared to the lustier Klingons populating the Empire. That's a great character piece.But it's in the middle of a dull plot and some stupid subplots. After all, how are we supposed to care about Bashir and Leeta's relationship when this is the first time we've really seen them together? Sure, there's some sexy open shirt scenes, but otherwise, it's fluff leading to the revelation that she's attracted to Rom. That must be hard on the ego, eh Bashir? And why is Quark along? He's good at both complaining and lusting after beautiful women, I guess.Other embarrassing bits include Worf's golden bathing suit and Curzon's silly "death by Jamaharon". Vanessa Williams at least makes a good guest-star. Pretty and dignified as called for by the role, though there's not much meat to it. One has to wonder sometimes if Fullerton doesn't have a point about the Risians if by the end, she's still at the "I'm starting to think there's no hope for that man" stage. You think?!LESSON: Risa will be first to fall when the Jem'Hadar knock its satellites out of the sky. No vacation for you!REWATCHABILITY - Medium-Low: A serious misstep and aside from one crucial speech, totally unnecessary. Watch mostly for the eye candy and Bashir frankly asking why Dax wants Worf.
You know the one. They get a pretty actress to hand out prizes to celluloid chemists and lense manufacturers and then they tell you about it real quick during the "actual" awards (which nonetheless spend time on documentary shorts). Yeah, so this is that bit of the Siskoid Awards. Who's available to host? Carey Mulligan?!
It's already better than the Oscars.Best black and white reprint anthology of 2007 - Tough one, but the prize goes to the best damn high concept in the lot, Showcase Presents The War That Time Forgot: WWII soldiers vs. dinosaurs.Best movie trailer moment of 2007 - Iron Man. Tony Stark builds his original armor in Osama Bin Laden's cave! While drunk.
Best DVD packaging of 2007 - Blade Runner 25th Anniversary Edition. I don't know about you, but I'm bringing that briefcase to work every day.Best arty B-movie of 2007 - Death Proof. While 28 Days Later once won this award, 28 Weeks Later didn't quite measure up. Tarantino's Death Proof manages to compare/contrast exploitation flicks in the 70s and 00s AND feature a disturbing spinning wheel to face moment.
Stupidest politically correct move of 2007 - Bookstores banning Tintin au Congo from their shelves as racist. You know, someone should really mention that Asterix is demeaning to Italians.Very close runner-up: So You Think You Can Dance appologizing to the U.S. Military for dancing a peace message.
Best fight move of 2007 - Jason Bourne beating a guy up with a rolled-up magazine.Character find of 2007 - Martha Jones. I am astonished at how quickly I forgot all about Rose Tyler.Worst character find of 2007 - The Mexicans on Heroes. First they run, then they cross a border, then they run, then they cross a border, then they run... Cutting their time short is the one good thing to come out of the writer's strike.Best fake awards show host of 2007 (these are always pre-taped) - Carey Mulligan, who else?
One of my pet peeves is bad French in American comics. Only one of many, I assure you, but important to me nonetheless. French characters spouting remedial French at best, and Babel Fish at worst. So here's a quick correction, if you will indulge me, or the otherwise entertaining Brave and the Bold #9. Master Waid and Mistress Buscema (I should think proofreading is part of "assistant-editing), attend:So the trouble has to do with the two Andrés in the Blackhawk/Boy Commandos team-up, of course. Let's call them Big André and Little André. It all starts when Little André comes out of a pyramid shouting:
"Une maman a Brooklyn!" Ok, let's look at this, shall we? "Maman" is the equivalent of "Mom", so it's really a pun. A mummy has Brooklyn, in the "are you my mummy?" sense. Of course, it's not a pun in French, it's just nonsense. Mummy (the Egyptian undead extensive care patient type) in French is "momie". I'm giving Waid a pass here, hoping he knows he's making a joke.What about Big André's French?
Ah yes, Big André has mangled syntax syndrome. He should be asking "Qu'est-ce qui s'est produit?", but he sidesteps the normal interrogative for a literal translation of "What has happened?" It's more like he's saying "The thing that's happened?" which gives it a demanding tone, but is ridiculously awkward. This is a fail. Now, what about Big André's translation?
It's a good thing he can read speech bubbles, because it sounds to me like Little André is saying "A mom in Brooklyn" or say we ignore the pun, "A mummy in Brooklyn". There's a homophone at work here, you see - "a" means "has", but "à" means "at" or "in", and they sound exactly the same. Given Brooklyn's a place name, Big André should probably be hearing the wrong thing. But he sees there's no accent on the "a", AND gets the pun, AND knows there's a Boy Commando called Brooklyn, so everything's fine.Little André's story about the stone door, etc. is surprisingly clear, and Big André translates it well. (Well, there's a confusing pronoun use, but this is how a person would talk.) And then little André makes an unforgivable gender mistake. In French, you'll remember, all nouns have a gender. This is a particular difficulty to second-language learners because there's no real rhyme or reason to which are masculine and which feminine. "Pierre" (Stone) is feminine, by the way, so Waid correctly says "Cette pierre" using a feminine demonstrative adjective ("Ce pierre" would have been a mistake). However, he goes on to use the masculine pronoun "celui" to refer to that stone in the next bit, instead of "celle". Ah well.Total score: 4/10. Mark will have to take the course again.Counter Argument of the GodsB&B #9 does have a lot of cool stuff on offer, so you shouldn't listen to Siskoid and his amazingly anal pet peeves (see, I can make French puns too!). Some of the best bits include:-Robby Reed!!! (I'm a big Dial H fan.)-Platinum reminding Mercury he's not the only liquid metal at room termperature.
-The Warlock of Ys! (I love it when pouring over my Who's Whos every night pays off.)-The Atom narrating his story, just like in his own title.-Between B&B and Booster Gold, the few series I'm reading at the moment are really giving me a tour of the entire history of the DC Universe. What's not to love?
390. Trials and Tribble-ationsFORMULA: The Trouble with Tribbles + All Good ThingsWHY WE LIKE IT: Temporal investigators. Brilliant effects.WHY WE DON'T: The Klingon cop-out. The combadge snafu.REVIEW: Tribble-ations is a brilliant anniversary special made possible by snazzy digital effects, yes, but also a lot of humor and originality. Where to start? Well, how about with Temporal Investigations, a hilarious invention that would probably make sense in the Trek universe, what with all the time travel shows floating around (it's probably not just the crews we tend to watch either, is it?). Lucsly and Dulmer (Scully and Mulder) are very funny with their deadpan deliveries and intimate knowledge of the calendar (yes, The Trouble with Tribbles DID air on a Friday!). One of these days, I've got to figure out what Kirk's 17 violations are...Sisko's tale concerns a trip back to that classic series episode, with our characters cleverly inserted into the action. And when I say cleverly, I'm not just talking about the seamless special effects. The storyline is clever too. The DS9 crew is deftly inserted into scenes as participants (in the line-up, for example), tourists (Dax commenting on Spock or McCoy's viability as mates), or secret participants (when they throw tribbles out looking for the bomb, they are timed to fall on Kirk's head). TOS elements are lovingly recreated in the costumes, hairstyles (Bashir is hilarious), set design, fight choreography, even the casting and acting by new guest actors. The music sadly isn't, and it does take away from the original scenes. Only one piece of TOS footage comes from a source other than Tribbles, and that's Sisko's indulgent meeting with Kirk pulled from Mirror, Mirror. Don't think about it too hard or you'll realize Kirk is way too attracted to Sisko (standing in for Marlena), but rather check out Uhura in the background. She's totally into him.Lots of great bits: Worf's lilac smell, Bashir's predestination paradox anxiety, the Great Tribble Hunt, O'Brien mistaking Kirk's stunt double for the captain himself, "the raktajino - a vital clue others might have missed", Dax standing in for the fans and also justifying the 60s design style... The new CGI Enterprise, Klingon cruiser and K-7 station of course paved the way (for good or ill) for the new Star Trek Remastered. A few things don't quite work, such as Sisko tapping his stitched-on combadge and not realizing it won't work (silly). The Klingon question is sidestepped, but at least acknowledged. Now we have an answer (combining the theories set forth here), but at the time, this was met with a mix of amusement and frustration. I'm calling it funny myself.LESSON: Even a temporal investigator would bend the rules to meet Kirk. Well, not ANY investigator apparently. (Cue longest stare-down in the history of the universe.)REWATCHABILITY - High: Manages that toughest of highwire acts by successfully honoring AND poking fun at the original series. Clever, funny and gorgeous to look at, I also happen to think it redeems the original which was problematic for me.
You know, I've always had a thing for awards shows. Not watching them, mind you. Dear God, no. Roll % for Insanity. No, no, no. I have a thing for organizing them. I just love to dole out prizes. It's just in my nature. And nothing's easier than giving Internet awards (as long as Bill Cosby doesn't come asking for them).So presenting... The First Annual Siskoid Awards, rewarding excellence in stuff I've seen, heard or read this year (regardless of its original inception date). Only new material will be up for consideration (or else I'd just watch Magnolia once a year and be done with it). Sit back and enjoy. I promise a wacky black woman won't come and harass you in your seat with a microphone.Best Book of 2007 - The runners up are...5. About Time 2 - The Unauthorized Guide to Doctor Who Season 4 to 6 by Tat Wood & Lawrence Miles4. Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland3. Jpod by Douglas Coupland2. Hey Nostradamus by, you guessed it, Douglas Coupland...and the Siskoid goes to:
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon - Like a born-again Flaubert, Chabon rocked my world with this novel. As I said at the time: "I don't remember the last time I finished a book and immediately wanted to go back to the first page and start again (not advised on my schedule). The novel has floored me, amused me, informed me, brought me to tears, tickled my aesthetic palate... I have such a backlog of reading material that I hardly ever talk about rereading a book. Kavalier&Clay just made my list of rereadables along with Hamlet and Ficciones. That's some pretty illustrious company."Best Comic of 2007 - The runners up are...5. The Escapist by various4. Fables by Bill Willingham3. New Frontier by Darwyn Cooke2. Doctor 13: Architecture & Mortality by Azzarello & Chiang...and the Siskoid goes to:
The Cute Manifesto by James Kochalka - "I don't mind telling you it brought tears to my eyes. Now, I love Kochalka, and he certainly doesn't have to justify his cute or naive style to me. His ideas about craft, story and artistic process are thought-provoking and told incredibly lyrically, but there's some good autobiographical stuff in there too. The juxtaposition of 9/11 and his decision to have a baby sandbagged me, and how he tied it all into the rest of the manifesto, well... You just have to read this thing. It'll inspire you to new things." All things considered, it was a good year for my comics reading, and it causes me psychic damage not to be able to mention Lone Racer, Shazam, Iron Fist, Booster Gold, Invincible, Manhunter, DMZ, All-Star Superman and Super F*ckers.Best Film of 2007 - The runners up are...5. Thank You for Smoking by Jason Reitman4. The Bourne Ultimatum by Paul Greengrass3. Little Miss Sunshine by Dayton & Faris2. Ghost Dog by Jim Jarmusch...and the Siskoid goes to:
2046 by Wong Kar-Wai - In part because it changed my perception of film-making, it's a gorgeous film, visual and evocative, quiet and emotional. And it started me tracking down every film this man has ever made, so that tells you something. (Of course, Jason Bourne actually won the award - in fact, every award on here - but to keep his presence a secret, he arranged for others to win them instead. But we know the score.)Best TV Series of 2007 - The runners up are...5. Heroes Season 14. Doctor Who Series 2-33. Studio 60 Season 12. Jekyll Series 1...and the Siskoid goes to:
Slings & Arrows Seasons 1-3 - I went through these so quickly it's almost a crime. After the first Season, "The show had me shedding tears and breaking out in laughter seconds later. They had me at hello by concentrating on a production of Hamlet, then actually illuminating the text in new ways for me (not that easy at this point), and making the characters' lives somewhat mirror the play without ever being predictable." And it just went on from there.Best TV Episode of 2007 - Limited to one per Season of any series. The runners up are...5. Futurama - Bender's Big Score4. Shakespeare Retold - Much Ado About Nothing3. Doctor Who Series 2 - The Girl in the Fireplace2. Michael Palin's Around the World in 80 Days - Ancient Mariners...and the Siskoid goes to:
Doctor Who Series 3 - Blink - Given that Steven Moffat has three nominations in all (the others for Girl in the Fireplace and Jekyll), it's not surprise that he finally wins one. Blink is his most accomplished work on Doctor Who, maybe even edging out The Empty Child, but writing's rarely enough to create a compelling episode. Blink also features some deft direction and wonderful performances. Carey Mulligan is the best Companion the Doctor's never had!Best CD of 2007 - The runners up are...5. Fallen Angels soundtrack (if only for the inclusion of Laurie Anderson's Speak My Language and The Flying Pickets' Only You)4. The One Doctor (Big Finish audio) by Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman3. The Chimes of Midnight (Big Finish audio) by Rob Shearman2. Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? by Of Montreal...and the Siskoid goes to:
Doctor Who Original Television Soundtrack by Murray Gold - It's certainly the one I listened the most to, and I can't get enough of the Doomsday music. Given what I heard in Series 3, I can't wait for the sequel either. Am I the biggest fanboy or what? A frickin' SF soundtrack won the category. Truth be told, I haven't made a lot of musical discoveries since I quit working for the People's Radio three years ago. Still, doesn't take away from Murray Gold's achievement.And now for the category you've been waiting for:Stupidest Move in the Geekaverse 2007 - The runners up are...
5. Just Cuz You Can Write a Novel Don't Mean You Can Write a Comic (DC Comics) - From Meltzer's decompressions and Picoult's mishandling of Wonder Woman, to trying to market those aberrations to the mainstream in hardcovers across the larger bookstore network, DC went all out this year trying to sink their market.4. Argentinagate - When a blogger in Argentina copied and translated all of its content from the best comic book blogs, he was just asking for mucho trouble.3. Civil War (Marvel Comics) - The worst thing about Civil War isn't Captain America's death in the epilogue (a marketing scheme his writer turned to his advantage), but everything else. Turning Iron Man into a villainous jerk just before his movie comes out? Smooth. Siding with the Patriot Act? Twisted. Spider-Man revealing his identity. Since retconned.2. Joe Quesada's clueless sexism (Marvel Comics) - Yes, Marvel gets a second nomination, but its editor-in-chief Joey Q is really asking for it. Other comic book companies shamelessly put out giant breast orgies, but at least they're honest about it. J.Q. has dealt with every sexist product (the Mary Jane statue, the Heroes for Hire Hentai cover) the same way, by going "sorry, I don't see it". And while the Internet revels in showing pictures of him drunk in strip club, he's out saying that readers can't identify with a married Spider-Man and effectively using more Civil War-type characterization (i.e. characters do what must be done not what they would actually do) to retcon it out of existence. And that's THIS WEEK! Nice that he could get one more in before the end of 2007....but the Siskoid goes to:A kid I know beating the shit out of another for spoiling the end of the last Harry Potter book - It's a very personal, local entry, but it takes the cake, especially given that this occurred in late October, months after the book's release. A simple "you know, at the end of the last Harry Potter when...?" was met with fists rather than a more sensible "lalala I can't hear you shut up I haven't finished it".So there you have it. The ceremony has hopefully finished on time thanks to the total lack of musical numbers. Tomorrow: The Technical Awards as given in a ceremony prior to this one!
389. The AssignmentFORMULA: Whispers + Power Play + Past Prologue + Lower DecksWHY WE LIKE IT: Creepy Keiko tortures O'Brien.WHY WE DON'T: Rom, I love you, but sometimes, eeech.REVIEW: The Assignment adds to Bajoran mythology with the creation of the anti-Prophets, the pah-wraiths. There's a war in heaven and the bad Wormhole Aliens have been cast out into the realm of linearity. Near as our limited minds can understand it. Surprisingly, this isn't a Sisko story. Not yet anyway. Instead, the pah-wraith possesses Keiko - yes, it's an O'Brien torture episode.Keiko nay-sayers will pretend they can't tell she's possessed, but to be fair, Rosalind Chao presents us with the very essence of Creepy in this episode. Forcing intimacy on O'Brien at every turn, he gets very intense, with shades of Hard Time's violence like breaking a glass with his bare hands, or more subtly, the look he gives her while blowing a candle and making a wish. A lot of nice moments where he's about to try to reveal her presence on the station and she holds him back with a veiled threat, like brushing Molly's hair too hard. That horror overlaid on his family life is all the more potent. The awkward birthday party (I love how Dax is always late for these things), waking up next to her, etc.And then there's Rom's arc. He's overly ridiculous at times, but he makes up for his social skills by working harder (no distractions). However, the A-plot is so intense that we resent the comic bits. Rom's a little too smart here as well, not just in a now usual technical genius way, but drawing conclusions about Prophet biology. An expository deus ex machina that wasn't necessary, as O'Brien could have made that last, crucial deduction. At least he gets rewarded for playing the patsy ("the role of the idiot brother" as he calls it).LESSON: If you're gonna be late, at least bring me some booze.REWATCHABILITY - Medium: A really intense story with great performances is let down somewhat by the comic relief.
Apparently Katana has broken etiquette by trying to save the young blonde. That's the Alpha-Male's job! Or in the absence of any, Geo-Force's.
While Black Lightning panics about a singed sleeve, Meltdown is free to show how he chose his new codename. Turns out he looks exactly like you thought Agent Orange looked but didn't.
And there you have it. Justice, Bat-style.
Oh ok, let's see what's going on at the prison. Good thing the warden spends every waking hour there, and even every non-waking hour. Hold on! Escaped?
Ah there you have it. Warden Brewster's the real villain. I knew it all along you know. Anyone with TWO safes in his office can't be trusted.
And once again, Geo-Force saves the day.
