Reign of the Supermen #399: Superman, Created Equal

Source: JLA: Created Equal #1-2 (2000)
Type: ElseworldsCreated Equal postulates a world in which men all died from a passing radiation field. The only male survivors are Superman (Kryptonian DNA seems impervious) and Lex Luthor (protected by sealed armor). The all-female Justice League, led by Wonder Woman, must attempt to rebuild and keep the human race viable. Paradise Island becomes the new capital of the world and the superheroines do as well as the boys ever did (it must help that the male supervillains are all dead though). But I know what you're thinking: How long before Superman is forced to impregnate everyone? Well, first there are obstacles to that. Would male children immediately die? Is a human/Kryptonian pregnancy even viable? Lois proves it is by becoming pregnant, but nothing's ever that easy. Luthor proves that Superman's solar battery cells are acting as a carrier for what they call the "Fall". If he stays, he'll kill newborn boys, and eventually, even women. Kal leaves the planet in search of a cure. After he's gone a year and his baby boy Adam hasn't died from atmospheric radiation, Wonder Woman breaks out the super-sperm:
Not sure how many normal women get to mother one of Superman's children, because it looks like it was all Amazons and superheroines. The nursery, at any rate, is on Paradise Island. Tragedy befalls Lois Lane early on when her 5-year-old hugs her to death. By the time he and the other children are teenagers, they've been turning against their female caretakers, mothers and sisters. Turns out, Luthor has been entering their dreams with a combination of tech and captured female psionics and brainwashing them to turn the world into a patriarchy again. At about the same time, Superman returns with a cure, but one that doesn't work on his too-powerful immune system. Then, the male kids disappear, join Luthor, shave their heads and attack.
After the women have all be captured and disabled, Luthor proceeds to expose his bald army to kryptonite, because guess what, he's got his own baby nursery of full-on humans back at base. Superman, braving two-way exposure, intervenes and finds the kryptonite lowers his immune system enough to cure him from the Fall. He's now harmless to his sons and everyone else. Luthor is defeated and the joke's on him. He has a stroke and can't move or speak, and his kids'll be raised by the matriarchy. Ha-Ha.

Evaluation: A pretty good story from Fabian Nicieza, and gorgeous art from Kevin Maguire and Joe Rubinstein. Worthy of attention.

Reign of the Supermen #398: Age of Wonder Super Man

Source: JLA: Age of Wonder #1-2 (2003)
Type: ElseworldsIn this Elseworld written by Adisakdi Tantimedh, with art by P. Craig Russell and Galen Showman, Superman emerges on the world stage at the 1876 Centennial Exposition, sans secret identity. It changes the whole of human history. You see, our boy Clark is deeply interested in science, probably a genetic trait, and starts using his powers to help inventors like Edison, Tesla and, Mr. production'n'marketing, Lex Luthor.
Drawing some inspiration from holographic reproductions of Krypton, Clark assembles a team of scientists that engineer their own powers, like Ted Grant/Starman, Barry Allen/the Human Flash, and after Clark refuses the gift of a Green Lantern ring from a dying alien, decorated soldier Hal Jordan. Together, they start making discoveries well ahead of our history's, and start to build the Age of Wonder. There is some opposition from mistreated workers led by Green Arrow and the ever-jealous Lex Luthor who comes out of his radium experiments with multiple casualties and sudden hair loss. Eventually, Hal Jordan allies himself with Luthor, believing Super Man's policies are repressive and dangerous, and uses his ring to blast the Man of Wonder far out into space, returning home with a story about Clark's death by comet. By 1911, Luthor is president and World War I has come early. Luthor's sold an atomic bomb to the Germans who have destroyed London, crippling the world's greatest empire. When Hal realizes Luthor's role in this crime, he tries to assassinate Luthor, but is killed by Ms. Luthor (Wonder Woman, oh ick). The ring flies off Hal's finger looking for its replacement GL:
So Super Man, armed with the ring, flies back home to find the world in chaos. With the help of the other heroes, including Batman, the Atom and Wonder Woman herself, Luthor is defeated before he can unleash Tesla's death ray projector. And in the wake of those events, in 1913, the Justice League of Nations is inaugurated.

We can only imagine how the Internet might have been invented in the 1940s. And by 2011? Sky's the limit!

Reign of the Supermen #362: Has-Been Superman

Source: Elseworlds 80-Page Giant #1 (1999)
Type: ElseworldsAmalgamondays brings you the short tale of a Superman amalgamated with "the King" - no, not Jack Kirby, Elvis Presley! - a hero who has given up and left what he considers a youngster's game. And look at those amalgamated youngsters, children of the original Justice League:
Aquahawk! (dear Lord, Shiera ended up with Aquaman!)
Martian Manhuntress! (who knew J'Onn J'Onzz had a thing for... Tigress?)
Negative Wonder! (that JLA/Doom Patrol crossover yielded babies!
And Green Canary! (Oliver Queen was nowhere near this - I smell Hal's genes all over this babe!)
Together, can they stop Team-Face? Well, I'm sure they could, but Superman, coaxed by a visit from Robin II, Spectre and Ibis the Invincible from the Super-Afterlife, comes to the rescue anyway, throwing one of Oli's trick arrows at the Joker/Lex/Two-Face amalgam thus inspiring a whole new generation!

Long live the King (of Steel)!

Reign of the Supermen #338: Robot JLA

Source: JLA Classified #2 (2005)
Type: RobotsSynopses of Grant Morrison stories hold a satisfaction all their own:

When The Ultramarine Corps (which I will always call the Global Guardians) is taken over by fairy-like Sheeda parasitic riders (from 7 Soldiers of Victory) allied with Mister Nebula and a man-eating Gorrila Grodd while the bulk of the JLA is bring distracted in the new-born universe of Qwewq, Batman must open the "Sci-Fi Closet" to defeat them. With the Squire tagging along, he Boom Tubes his flying saucer to Pluto, where he has a secret stash of Superman Robots he redesigns into a makeshift Justice League while the Squire attempts to contact the real Justice League in Qwewq. Sadly, the robots don't last very long.

And yes, that means there's a Superman robot in drag playing Wonder Woman.

Reign of the Supermen #313: Superman Predator

Source: JLA versus Predator (2001)

Type: VillainJohn Ostrander, with Graham Nolan and Randy Elliott, crafts a crossover story that is way better than it has any right to be in JLA versus Predator. It's about the Dominators manipulating the DNA of a group of Predators to make them the perfect assassins to take down the Justice League. Each has an armor and powers themed to take on a member. After some trouble - and the Martian Manhunter getting his head cut off and put on a spike (good thing he can put his brain in his chest) - the JLA prevails by exchanging partners. Except Superman.



"You'll forgive me but I really am the only one suited to take on my Metapredator!"



Sometimes, just sometimes, Superman talks like he doesn't need to be in a team. Well... can't argue with results.

Reign of the Supermen #80: Superman of Earth-A

Source: Justice League of America vol.1 #37-38 (1965)
Type: Villain/Alternate TimelineIt must be the Silver Age when...

Johnny Thunder of Earth-2 wants to meet his Earth-1 self, forcing his magical Thunderbolt to bring him across dimensions, but Earth-1 Johnny is a crook who takes control of the Thunderbolt to commit crimes! Bad Johnny makes the T-bolt put his Johnny in a coma, and then go back in time to make sure the Justice League's members never become heroes (for Superman, that means keeping Krypton from blowing), creating an alternate timeline he calls Earth-A. The JSA, looking for their late Johnny, come looking for him and discover what bad Johnny's been up to. Bad Johnny makes his T-bolt kick them off Earth-1, but their return disguised as the Justice League (Dr. Fate magically impersonates Superman). Bad Johnny retaliates by sending the T-bolt back in time once again to turn six crooks into the Justice League (how he gives "Ripper Jones" Superman's powers is beyond me). This Bad JLA fights the JSA, but fail because they're not very good at using their powers (in Superman-A's case, he can't withstand Dr. Fate's magics). Though the JSA tries to magically fix history, only the T-bolt can undo his own spell. After a big fight on the moon between Bad Johnny's invented monsters, he gets frustrated at his losses and wishes that the whole story never happened. The T-bolt grants the wish and Good Johnny never even visits his Earth-1 counterpart.

And that's how only you, me and the Thunderbolt know this even happened.

Reign of the Supermen #77: Hyperion

Source: Starting with Avengers #85-86 (1971)
Type: AnalogIf it's not immediately apparent that Hyperion is a Superman analog (though his haircut above makes it plainer), once you see him with the rest of the Supreme Squadron, there can be no mistake. Nighthawk, Power Princess, Amphibian, Doctor Spectrum, Skrullian Skymaster, Whizzer, Blue Eagle, Golden Archer, Lady Lark, Arcanna... The names alone scream Justice League of America analog. So Hyperion has to be the Superman in that equation.
In the Squadron Supreme's universe (Earth-712), Hyperion is the last living Eternal (kinda puts the lie to THAT word), which certainly makes him the last son of SOMEwhere, and his powers, though "atomic"-based, are pretty much like those of Superman.

Marvel had found a way of interacting with the DC Universe without having to go down the street for meetings. (Note: The Squadron is one of two Marvel teams analogous to the DCU's, and Hyperion one of at least three Superman analogs... we'll get to the others in due time.) Coincidentally, on the same year and same month as Avengers #85, in JLofA #87, DC ran their own alternate-universe version of the Avengers with the Champions of Angor.
Weird. Though to be fair, an evil version of the Squadron (the Squadron Sinister) had appeared a year and a half before in Avengers #69. So Marvel started it.

Reign of the Supermen #62: Coal Superman

Source: JLA #60 (2002)
Type: Imaginary story/TransformationPlastic Man may well be behind all those Silver Age stories in which the Justice League get turned into trees and finger puppets. In JLA #60, he tells Woozy Winks' young son Weezer all about "The Fight Before Christmas" in which Superman and the rest of the JLA get turned into coal and stuffed down his stockings by the anti-Santa, Neron!

It's a good thing Santa Claus had just joined the Justice League, cuz that might've been the end.

Hope you don't get TOO many fossil fuels in your stockings this year!

Reign of the Supermen #60: Post-Crisis Composite-Superman

Source: Superman/Batman Annual #3 (2009)
Type: VillainOk, one last Composite-Superman!

This one is the zombie of an aborted experiment by Professor Ivo, a clone of the entire Justice League of America predating Amazo, but recently and inexplicably reanimated. It tries to replace both Superman and Batman, but its split personality gets in the way of things. In the end, the World's Finest duo talk it to death.
Yikes! I guess he really WAS held together with shoelaces.

And so Superman/Batman continues to cement its reputation for being slightly off-continuity. This Composite-Superman has Red Tornado's powers, which it shouldn't given that 1) it is meant to predate Amazo, and Amazo predates Red Tornado's joining the JLA; and 2) how do you "clone" Red Tornado - he's a robot! I also find fault with the Composite knowing that Lois and Clark are married, since his "genetic knowledge" should predate that event by many years.

But as with all things Composite-Superman, we'll let it slide. This character is not about logic!

Great Easter Liveblog Challenge: Apostle Scramble Day

The liveblogging action continues! Feels like I didn't even make a dent in the pile yesterday, so I must push on. How about we start with a few #1s?

Seaguy - Slaves of Mickey Eye #1: We all love Grant Morrison's Seaguy, right? Even if we don't understand it. That seems to be the consensus. This newest chapter is just like the first one, pleasant and cartoony, and yet disturbing as hell. The key is the mention of the word subconscious in the opening pages. The play on the word "sub" puts the world of New Venice in an interior landscape where people and events may just be fragments of Seaguy's traumatized psyche, and the visit to the mental hospital, even if it's just as surreal as the rest, may bear this out. Or just read it for such characters as She-Beard.

Hero Squared - Love and Death #1: Didn't read the first series, but superhero comedy by the Giffen/DeMatteis team made me try this one. There's a good recap, but I still feel like I came into the middle of things, especially when it comes to caring about the characters. Hmm.

Irredeemable #1: Written by Mark Waid (cool) and drawn by Peter Krause (but I imagine, not the one from Sports Night and Six Feet Under). It's the story of a Superman stand-in - the Plutonian - that goes bad after years of overhearing people trash his name. It's the superhero equivalent of a flame war of your favorite BBS. Violent without being particularly gory, it stands out as disturbing instead, and I think I'm going to enjoy it. Having an afterword by Grant Morrison is odd, but it's great reading, so everyone involved is forgiven the indugence.

The Mighty #1: Another Superman stand-in, Alpha-One, who came out in the 40s and today has a whole police force built around him. And it's really more about the characters around him. Alpha-One doesn't even get a line (kinda creepy). So is he corrupt just like the Plutonian? Could be. Zeitgeist is making all these series come out at the same time, eh?

Rawbone #1: Of all the early Vertigo writers, I was never really a fan of Jamie Delano's. I'm not saying his brand of horror was ineffective (on both Hellblazer and Animal Man), but it's not something that I personally enjoyed. His pirate story uses his trademark purple prose, creating a heightened reality not unlike some kind of perverse Shakespearean tragedy. It gets just a little too obscene at the end there, so I'm not sure I'll be back for a second issue. Sometimes too much is like not enough.

Timestorm 2009-2099 #1: I never read the 2099 titles, but coming to this reality "fresh" doesn't make it work any less. A Handbook page for Spider-Man 2099 clears up a few things, but isn't really necessary. I like the Thor-worshipping stuff, and I'm usually a sucker for time travel/alternate reality stories. Is this, in fact, the other side of the Avengers/Invaders coin?

Warlord #1: Oh, not a mini-series this time? I kinda liked Warlord back in the day, but never bought it regularly. Mike Grell here makes it a little more interesting for me by first following modern day adventurers trying to reach Warlord's fantasy world, though we're soon there ourselves and back with Travis Morgan. Hey, does Tara mind that he sleeps with Shakira?
The intrusion from our world should provide enough juice for early issues. And while I don't mind DC plugging Power Girl in almost every single comic, I don't want it to eat at the main story. 16 actual pages? Booooo!

Ignition City #1: Warren Ellis spins out another high concept comic, this one my favorite of recent memory. It's the 50s, and the old pulp SF yarns were all true. It's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen meets Dan Dare, basically. I'm gonna call it Rocketpunk.

All-New Savage She-Hulk #1: "Phallo-Fascists"? Really? Oh Mr. Van Lente, I only got this comic because your name was on it. And you can feel Van Lente's hand on this. A tamagochi turned into a taunt-spouting, bracelet version of Skeets; Zabu roasted over an open fire; the title is "W.M.D. Woman of Mass Destruction". And how do I feel about Jen being replaced by the genetically engineered offspring of Thundra and the Hulk? Oh, I don't think Jen's gone too far.

Exiles #1: Here's another series I've never read, but it's got Jeff Parker's name on the cover. There's an extended bit of exposition, which would be grueling if it wasn't so visually inventive.
But it's still a bit awkward. On the one hand, the selected characters aren't really different enough (yet) from their Earth-616 versions to really spark my interest. On the other, this is a comic that has Forge driving a city made of Sentinels. On the fence.

The Phantom - Ghost Who Walks #1: I'd picked up an issue of Moonstone's first Phantom series midstream, and while I liked what I saw, it was hard getting into it like that. A new #1 is just what I needed. We're still very much in the world of today, political and relevant, and the Phantom cuts a mysterious figure. I'll be following it for the long run, and hope to pick up The Phantom: Generations as well.

Oracle: The Cure #1: About being on the fence... I really like Barbara Gordon as Oracle. I also like her as Batgirl a lot (the recent Batman Confidential story a case in point). So how am I to feel about her likely return to her former costume (unless I'm misreading the title)? Not sure until it happens. As it is, I'm liking this battle of wits and computers between Barbara and the Calculator. But then, I remember liking The Hacker Files.

Marvel Zombies 4 #1: The zombie virus is loose on our world, and it's up to the Midnight Sons to eradicate it. Not as outrageously funny as the previous chapter, but still has a nice, underbelly of the Marvel Universe, feel to it.

Daredevil Noir #1: I thought Daredevil was ALREADY Noir? Aside from the mention of prohibition, this kind of confrontation with the Kingpin could happen in the real DD book.
X-Men Noir #4: Now THIS is world transformed. And the mystery's solution? Sheer genius to use Claremont's most famous story. And that's all I'm going to say about that. Read it.

Spider-Man Noir #4: The ending is just a touch too uplifting for Film Noir, but still a likable mini.

Trinity #41: The Krona stuff is a bore (Busiek resolving his old JLA storylines is Trinity's big weakness), but on Earth, the reappearance of the Trinity, even as gods, has history aligning. Some heroes are back, and dead heroes have a way of getting themselves killed!
Trinity #42: History is set aright, finally, but the Trinity's still living large and god-like. I guess we're gearing up for the last 10 issues. Neat bit with the Joker-as-Gotham, by the way.

Trinity #43: It's all about Tarot screwing with Morgaine's head in the first half, and getting touch with a trio of gods in the second. You know, despite the length, this could still have been the real Final Crisis, though it looks like it ends something like Zero Hour. Can we get Tomorrow Woman back?

Trinity #44: Apparently we can. And I was only joking. I don't know what can be done with Tomorrow Woman beyond her Morrison JLA story. The whole point of her was that story. I'm just glad it wasn't Triumph!

Trinity #45: The Crime Syndicate may just be the only ones who can stop the Trinity, and then we're off into Krona land, the power into which everyone's been tapping. Slap him down already.

Wonder Woman #30: Diana throws her tiara! She takes down the Secret Society with extreme prejudice! She's the Jack Bauer of superheroes! Well, maybe that last one seemed a touch unnecessary. Wonder Woman at her most badass, people. I hope Etta's ok. And I quite like how Genocide's origin mirrors Diana's, as does the leader of the Manazons'. And now: Phobia.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold #3: A riff on Marvel Zombies on page 1. Batman becomes president of the USA on page 5. The Warlords of Okaara declare war on the U.S. on page 6. The Ultra-Humanite has a lair in Nova Scotia on page 12. It's that kind of a comic.

Agents of Atlas #3: Namora's Sea-nopsis? Oh, Jeff Parker! We're still moving from 1958 to the present and both stories are pretty great. And I'm guessing both will feature (a) Captain America.

Captain Britain and MI13 #12: Paul Cornell continues to be a genius. He's even going to make me like Blade.

Haunted Tank #5: Great art, a blackly humorous take on the invasion of Baghdad, and the Civil War through the somewhat naive eyes of General Stewart. But it doesn't quite come together in the end. We get the origin of the ghostly curse, easy hindsight into Iraq and a few more tank battles, but how it all connects into a thematically meaningful whole... I'd have to read the entire series again.

Immortal Iron Fist #24: I can't believe last issue's cliffhanger will only be resolved NEXT issue!!! What gives? On the other hand, if Iron Fist is preventing itself from lateness by doing guest-artist stories about older Iron Fists like this, I gotta say it's brilliant. Li Park, the peaceful Iron Fist who didn't want to throw a punch, is a compelling story and one that could actually fuel stories about K'un-L'un in the future.

Secret Six #7: It's the final battle for the free pass out of Hell, and it's a doozy. I love Bane-o-vision! Most ironic line:
Secret Six #8: Deadshot and Scandal go on a double-date (but not as each other's dates) and it's the most hilarious issue yet! Especially the no-killing pact. And Rag Doll's dream. And Insignificus. And all the dialogue. And the superhero drag bar. And the Power Girls playing a set. Comic of the Week... hrm, of whatever week it came out.

Booster Golf #19: The Egyptian arc is finally over. Went on a bit long. Ooh, a Rip Hunter blackboard!
Ok, so, references to Battle for the Cowl and whatever that Titans/Vigilante crossover is called. "He is coming back" could refer to anyone - Batman, Superman, some poor soul turned into a Black Lantern... Barry Allen? The Immortals, I'm not sure about. Is Rise of the Olympian on Rip's radar? As for the equation, that has to be Anti-Life, as mentioned in Oracle.

Savage Dragon #145: A Chris Sims recommendation and like him, I haven't read Savage Dragon in, oh 120some issues? Wow, time flies. A lot has changed, but Larsen makes this an easy issue to jump onto. Kind of back to the basics, really. And what is that ending about?!

Ok, let's do a couple more Invincible Super-Blog recommendations...
Uncanny X-Men #507: Yes, Fraction and all that. I should be liking this. I still don't get it.

Ghost Rider #33: I was lured to try this series again by Sims and the promise of nuns with nun-chucks, and though this comes on the heels of a major change, it's really quite good. I'm a sucker for what I call Bubble Worlds, and the Ghost Ride legacy is sufficiently built up that way with throwaways.
The hellish big rig isn't too bad either! And the Ghost Riders of Tomorrow?! This just got crazy enough for me to pay attention!

Mighty Avengers #23: Tony Stark vs. Hank Pym... HILARIOUS! Actually, all the super-smart people are funny. There's so much weird stuff going on here, it reminds me of Morrison's JLA (and that's a compliment). A reveal that saddens me, but not that much.

New Avengers - The Reunion #2: So this has turned into a spy thriller, and I'm not at all disappointed. Hawkeye and Mockingbird work well in the genre. Plus, just how Mockingbird was abducted by the Skrulls, so there's that.

Franklin Richards - April Fools #1: The usual collection of fun stories and charming art from Chris Eliopoulos. It's not quite Tiny Titans or Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade, but still cute.

Marvel Adventures Avengers #34: What happens when a time travel story is allowed to go completely nuts? How about Nick Fury and the Howling Commandos, Abe Lincoln and Toulouse Lautrec all appearing? How about the time stream filled with cats? How about... Jousting ancient Egyptians on segways?
Yeah, that stuff. I'm real happy Tigra joined the team too. Next issue: Hawkeye and Batroc? I'm there!

Dr. Doom and the Masters of Evil #3: It starts with a Dr. Doom song to the tune of Shaft and goes on from there. I'm not totally with the (seemingly) continuity heavy plot about Infinity Crystals or whatever, but the Masters are a fun lot and Tobin's comedy works, so.

Justice League of America #31: Sigh. Ok, the first part of the book is Black Canary slapping down GL and GA for something they're GOING to do in an as-yet-unreleased mini-series. The hell, people?!? The big point though is that Canary gets called on the JLA not having done much in the last 30 issues, and that's true. Most storylines have been "internal", haven't they? Dealing with a fellow's resurrection, or screwy powers, or helping out another hero team, or getting attacked by super-villains. How have they saved the world exactly? Meltzer's failure has become the entire series, and McDuffy at least seems to realize that. So this issue is just a big shake-up in the wake of Final Crisis, New Krypton, etc. (all of which can't possibly have happened between issues and still sync up). Who's staying, who's leaving? Well, everybody that matters is leaving, so rather than become the next Justice League Detroit, Canary dissolves the team. I've personally been down this road a number of time and every time DC decides to create a lot of upheaval in its main solo books, the JLA suffers. So what's it going to be like now? Detroit? JLI/JLA/JLE (and I'm thinking about the later years here)? Extreme Justice? I can't wait to find out. End sarcasm.

Done for the night!

Revenge of the Live Blog of Doom

Still way behind on the principal comics stack and since last week's live blog provided enough incentive to read 50 comics (50!), I thought I'd give it another go. Only just an evening this time, so if I get to 25, it will have been a big night. Shall we begin? Thanks for putting up with it.

Action Comics #875: Greg Rucka writes - he's been hit and miss with me, though I did enjoy Checkmate - and we find his usual penchant for secrets here. With Superman gone, Action is about the new Kryptonian Nightwing & Flamebird sporting new costumes already. Did Rucka just come in and change everything? Perhaps including the identity of Nightwing? If you were expecting Superboy, you'll be disappointed. I am. The Phantom Zone Villains they're after... some are named after the pre-Crisis guys, but Az-Rel got a sex change. Nice bit with the subtitles.

Agents of A.T.L.A.S. #2: I admit to having missed the original mini, but I like these characters after only two issues. Especially Namora. I also like that there are two stories being told, the one taking place in the 50s alleviating the frustration of the Dark Reign thread. Sole real complaint: The second Uranus joke would have worked better without the first.Batman: Battle for the Cowl #1: Just curious, really. The Knight & the Squire are in it. The happy surprises end there. Tony Daniel's art hasn't gotten better (and I do wonder why he's being "rewarded" with the task of writing an important event like this), with his usual botched story-telling. Panel placement, "camera" angles, clarity, Poison Ivy's dignity, are all strangers to him. So who's the new gun-totting Batman? Start your speculations.

Batman Confidential #27: What's Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez doing these days that we don't see his art more? No, we're stuck with the likes of Daniel and Benes instead. Anyway, good-looking comic, and Batman and the Riddler play well as a double act. Batman: Gotham After Midnight #10: Another book to get for the art. That crazy, crazy Kelly Jones. Goes a bit far with the "heart" puns though, doesn't it?

Solomon Grundy #1: Again, curious. Curious to see how Didio believes Grundy can be the Swamp Thing of the non-Vertigo DC Universe. Writer-artist Scott Kollins' story is pretty disjointed, so I don't think I'll follow it. Sad, because Etrigan's in it.

Justice League of America #29: Retro-writer Len Wein guests to retell the story of Starbreaker's first couple JLA appearances (a bit like he did with that Libra special). Starbreaker may be a two-bit Galactus, but the comic has this panel going for it:That, and Aquaman beats the living daylights out of a cosmic-level villain!

Justice League of America #30: The Milestone heroes. Shadow Thief working for Starbreaker. The moon's shadow attacking Earth. It should be cool, but it just lays there. I'm blaming the art, but it's not like the writing heightens it or anything.

Wolverine: Switchback #1: The art reminds me of Wolverine/Havok Meltdown. It's a Punisher-ish story about a serial murderer who uses a tight turn in the road to kill people, and then it's over and there's a second story, with interesting animation cell-like art, but really no story. What is this? Stuff that couldn't make it into a proper Wolverine series?

Green Lantern Corps #34: Sodam Yat makes his mom appologize for all she did wrong, and Mongul lays waste to Daxam. Hey, can a Lantern change the color of the sun so that the population can get revenge? That would be sweet. I didn't post Nightmare Fuel yesterday, but GLC 34 could have hooked me up: Frank Castle: Punisher #68: A kinda got lost in the supporting player scenes, which makes me think this'll read better in trade, because it's otherwise cinematic and well done.

Immortal Iron Fist #23: HAWT!!! Danny gets to talk to the very first Iron Fist, also a prisoner in the 8th City, and Foreman provides a number of money shots. Folks, this book is as good as it ever was under Fraction.

Invincible Iron Man #11: Pepper Potts becomes Iron Girl, and Tony... shaves his moustache?!? He's on the run alright. Some nice cloak and dagger email stuff. A smart fight with War Machine. I dig it.

Haunted Tank #4: The tank finally reaches Bagdad!Oh and we learn plenty of little details about the crew and old Jeb himself. Could he have been cursed to know no rest by a slave?

Unknown Soldier #4: I like this iteration of the character. I wonder if, as a "spirit", it will inhabit other people and hotbeds of violence as the story progresses. But I'm content with the African setting, a perfect place for the spirit of the Unknown Soldier to rise in the new Millennium.

Unknown Soldier #5: Moses is reunited with his wife and start getting flashes of his life before he became the Soldier. Then, violence erupts. If the next issue is going to be the arc's finale, it's gonna be a doozy.

Captain Britain and MI13 #11: Dracula has declared war against the UK, and while this is a lot of set-up for "Vampire State", there are still some great moments. Like an undercover vampire remotely detonated by holy water capsule.And Faiza healing herself and the Black Knight at the exact moment they hit the ground from a great altitude.

Black Lightning Year One #5: I'm gonna miss this series when it's over. I like that Suicide Slum is just as much a character as BL, what with the shifting viewpoint and all.

Booster Gold #18: The end of the knife story, and I'm sort of glad. This thing has more temporal paradoxes than a season of Voyager! I sure hope Michelle's not gonna sacrifice herself because of existential blues.

New Avengers: The Reunion #1: First off, the cover with the classic costumes proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that they were better. So I got this because I'm a Hawkeye/Mockingbird fan from way back in West Coast Avengers (no, I will not call him Ronin). Bobbi still has her throwing batons , but she also throws a mean syringe!Ooh, and the eraser heads from AIM! Mockingbird has a nasty case of PTSD. Love the Matrix joke. I hope they don't dilute the mini with too many Avengers, because I like it with just the two of them.

Ok, well, that makes 20, and I think I'll call it a night. Not bad for a few hours' "work".

Damn, that stack still has like 30 comics in it. It's endless!

5 Things to Like About the DC Universe Holiday Special 2009

I'm not a real Christmassy guy, but I can tell good comics from bad, and while I wouldn't say all the stories in this year's DC Christmas Special work (the Huntress story has unforgivable lettering mistakes, for example), most of them do, either as touching moments, or takes on Christmas yarns, or just as comedy. I'm not handing out a prize for getting published in time for Christmas, which these days, is something of a minor miracle, because I'm leaving my snarkiness at the door. Here's only SOME of the stuff to like in this comic.

1. Santa's secret originUsing the Superman myth to explain Santa Claus is a beautiful homage to both iconic figures. Hey, they do both have a North Pole address! Too short! Too short!

2. Classic Aquaman
Something of a gift to the fans, and it'd be nice to see a return of the original sea king in the fact that it was written by Dan Didio himself... The story's a bit too close to heresy for comfort, but it's a nice batch of Aquaman hero shots by Ian Churchill.

3. All three Blue Beetles
Who doesn't like Jamie? Who doesn't love Ted? Who doesn't want to see more of the Golden Age Blue Beetle? A great little tale about a three generations of small town crooks who got their clocks cleaned by the Blue Beetle legacy. That's what Christmas is all about!

4. Gotham's Christmas without sirens
Hope comes to Gotham City for just one day this year. I love how it completely flusters the GCPD. But once that time is up, it's up!

5. The JLA Christmas party
So many moments I could call attention to, like Firestorm molecularly spiking the punch, or the very funny gift exchange, but my favorite moment is shown above, possibly manufactured by artist Kevin Macguire. Seen it yet? It's Red Tornemo having to be pushed onto the dance floor! Perfect!

Have a great Christmas Eve everyone!

5 Things to Like About the All-Star Bizarro World

In Grant Morrison's All-Star Superman, Bizarro World made a comeback as a cubeworld coming out of the underverse to terrorize humanity. We're told to "think of it as a super-dense basement level to the universe". Those issues are widely regarded as the low point of the series (a low that is still higher than most series' high point), probably because there's entirely too much Bizarro-speak. I know it's puts ME off. However, there's some very good stuff in there too (not least of which is Frank Quitely's art, which I haven't specifically included in the following list because it really goes without saying, except I did say it just now).

1. Bizarros that make themselvesNo longer waiting for Luthor's beam to hit, Bizarros can now grab hold of your essence directly. It gives Bizarros a reason to invade, unless they want to be putty all their lives. And while they invade, they might as well start Bizarring our planet:
Side-note: Now THAT's a Bizarro Christmas.

2. Flame breath
Bizarro-Superman doesn't have freeze breath, but its opposite! Great visual. I suppose he also has freeze vision.

3. Bizarro origin of Superman
Superman is stuck on Bizarro World, his strength being sapped by the red sun, and the only way to get home is trust Bizarro Jor-El to make a spacecraft out of garbage to send him back to Earth. It's a great twist on the well-known story. And it all comes down to a failing match...

4. The Unjustice League
Hilarious! I love the chains all over the Flash's costume! I miss Yellow Lantern, I do, but a GL who can't think of any shapes to create is actually one rung below the JLU's John Stewart and only two below Hal Jordan's giant nail clippers and stuff.
Batman shot by his parents would have been too grisly for the Silver Age, but a great gag here. And Wonder Woman's reverse origin makes her the best Bizarro hero since Clayface II was held up by a fork.

5. Zibarro
Or Bizarro-Bizarro. The thoughtful, sensitive reverse of Bizarro isn't just another Superman, and serves two purposes: 1) gives Superman someone to talk to that DOESN'T do the Bizarro-speak thing, and 2) fully expresses the tragedy and existential horror that this Silver Age concept now entails in a postmodern age.

Even with the All-Star Bizarro World, a little goes a long way, but I'm glad we could stop by.

Is Every Archer a Loser?

JLA #8-9, DC Comics, August to July 1997
Undersog Week continues with an early story in Grant Morrison's maverick Justice League of America run.

Grant Morrison remembers the Silver Age. In the Silver Age, Justice League stories were strange. Naively strange, perhaps, but strange nonetheless. It just so happens that my man Morrison is the King of Strange. He'll take your Silver Age concepts and twist them in a Gordian knot for you to enjoy all over again. And look at that second cover, isn't it a joy? In the 60s, the Justice Leaguers were always turned into finger puppets or trees or whatever. They make a great key chain too.

So what Silver Age madness has Morrison put inside the comic? Well, how about a little thing called the "imaginary story"? This is the thing that, after Bobby Ewing woke up on Dallas, fell out of fashion so that most comics would have to put "Not a dream! Not an imaginary story!" right there on the cover. Which made those stories, like, you know... REAL! But Morrison revels in that kind of stuff.

Our story opens on a perfectly intact Krypton as young Kal-El becomes a Green Lantern. See? That's some imaginary shit, right there! That never happened! How could it? Ok, I'll tell you: An old JLA villain by the name of the Key is looking to unlock some more of his mental potential and has hooked the Justice League up to a virtual reality machine. Each of them is experiencing an "imaginary" scenario and once they defeat that scenario and wake themselves up, it'll give the Key a surge of power that'll make him a god. Only in a Grant Morrison comic would the villain's goal be for the heroes to win.

So you've got Superman as a GL, GL as a Qwardian action figure, the Flash with a quicksilver covering that ties him to the speed force, an elder Batman married to Catwoman and overseeing the careers of a Tim Drake Batman and a Bruce Jr. Robin, Aquaman in a flooded New York battling Manta raiders, and my personal favorite:
1960s mod Wonder Woman kicking a zombie nazi in the face!!!* Don't know about you, but I think that's what Wonder Woman should always be about. Great Indiana Jones version of Steve Trevor, too:
Back in the real world, the new Green Arrow, Connor Hawke, has been invited to the Justice League Watchtower to see if he'd make a good member. Like his dad, he's just a very accurate archer. Unlike his dad, he uses real arrows, not those stupid trick arrows that would never work in real life. So of course, Morrison has him lose his arrows at the start of the story, which forces him to fight the Key and his robots with trick arrows from a trophy case.

They're not all explosive arrows either. Boxing glove arrows. Handcuff arrows. And...
Boomerang arrow! And he has to beat a guy who just put down 6 Justice Leaguers! He comes to terms with his father's arsenal: "Only a madman could use this equipment. Only a genius could use it. I'd better decide which I want to be, fast." And when push comes to shove, when the Justice League wakes up and the Key is about to enter the Cosmic Lock...
"It all seems so ridiculous." "That's what I would have thought too." I love it when the "littlest hero" saves the day. I really do. If they all happen to be archers, so be it.
*This sentence has been Chris Sims-approved!